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About jacques

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  1. I don't have a lot of experience with different medications, but risperdal has worked wonders for me. It didn't completely kick out all the depression, but it really helped. I haven't been having suicidal thoughts on it. Actually, the only times I've had suicidal thoughts since starting it were when I went off my meds back in September.
  2. So (understandably) my pdoc wants to entirely avoid SSRIs if he can in treating me, so when I complained about my intrusive and obsessive thoughts coming back to the forefront he increased my risperdal by half a tablet per day. I want to know, has anyone else had risperdal added/upped in order to treat OCD symptoms? If so, how did that work out for you?
  3. I can say I've experienced it before, just having a crazy burst of symptoms, amplifying the extremeness of it all, and then just being completely wiped for the next day or two whether or not a proper depressive episode follows (which it doesn't always).
  4. I'm slightly more than a year on meds now, coming up on a year of a combo that's actually working for me, and it's a weird feeling. I'm really enjoying it because I'm stable, can sleep, and I'm functioning with a part-time job and full-time school but at the same time I'm kind of lost? Like I feel like I was almost always in some kind of episode before I got on meds, and what I'm on has levelled me out a lot and I'm really lucky for it especially since I'm on such a low dose of everything. But anyway, I'm feeling really strange about it all? I'm hoping it's just the winter blahs getting me and I can engage back fully once spring kicks in a little but I just needed to vent that. So I wanted to ask, is this normal? To be kind of bored and lost when finally stable after years of being untreated. And the question I stuck in the title, what's the longest you've been stable? On or off meds, or both?
  5. I'm similar but much milder and more spread out. Like, I don't like anyone touching me unless we're dating but I also don't have the same revulsion that you do. But I imagine this is pretty normal, seeing as you can't stand your mother? I don't really have family members that I hate or that disrespect my personal space (I'm really lucky), but if I were put in that situation I'd imagine I'd feel similar to you.
  6. I was diagnosed with dysthymia before they realized I was bipolar spectrum. I've heard that even when technically in baseline, bipolar patients can have symptoms like anhedonia, trouble concentrating, etc that can look like minor depression but not be bad enough for an episode. Hell knows I've experienced it.
  7. In my experience, being on medication shortens episodes (especially manic ones) and I've had little manic spikes that didn't last for more than a few days before even off medicine. As long as one mania lasts at least a week, you're technically bipolar 1, even if you're a little atypical for the diagnosis.
  8. I’m more of the thinking Bigfoot, the Mothman, or shadow demons are after me type, but this did happen once. And I remember it was very specific. I thought that I could sense when I would fight with my then-best friend and that I could tell based on stomach pains I got that would indicate we’d fight later/the next day. Context: the friendship was highly toxic to the point where I would confidently say that I was being abused and he was the type of person who would get super angry at the drop of a hat over seemingly nothing, so almost anything was like spinning the wheel and seeing if it landed on fun or a big temper tantrum. So the fights happened a lot.
  9. So I've been questioning my gender for nearly 2.5 years now (not often compared to a lot of people, as I'm 22). But, my question here is. Has anyone ever feared that they were questioning their gender or sexuality because of their mental illness? [NSFW] Especially recently, I've rarely gone a day without thinking about how I want a penis and how empty my pants feel is unnatural feeling, despite my constant feeling that my mental illness may be tricking me into thinking that I'm trans. [/NSFW] Then there's also the thought that my OCD is responsible for my fear of my faking. Which is another confusing mess unto itself.
  10. I don't think it requires a lot of blood work, but I've had blood taken to test my depakote level before so just a fair warning. It's only been once so far though (though I'm due to do it again since they upped my level).
  11. I’m on a pretty low dose of depakote, but even when I was on only 500mg I feel like it did help somewhat. It was the first medication I was put on and the first thing I noticed was that it started pulling back at the mania and calmed me down a bit, but it didn’t help with breaking the concentration difficulties or the other parts of mania. That’s where the risperdal really helped.
  12. I personally have a history of hypo/mania that starts around Thanksgiving and typically lasts at least through the Christmas season and sometimes even up through Valentine’s Day, followed by a depressive episode. So this definitely applies to me.
  13. I can't really say I personally relate to your story because I was always more of an irritable temperament (still kind of am, even on meds) before I started getting treatment, but I think I have heard of this. There's a couple different dispositions that are commonly seen in people with mood disorders, and one of them is something called a hyperthymic temperament. It's kind of when a person is naturally exuberant and efficient and has a lot of energy, but it lasts too long to be hypo/mania and it doesn't go quite as extreme (like needing very little sleep or developing psychosis). It's possible that you're naturally hyperthymic and your medication is changing your temperament. I'm not too familiar with this concept, so other users feel free to correct any misinformation I may have given.
  14. So I recently went to see a pdoc to get my prescription renewed, and I mentioned anxiety being a big part of my life. He was understandably hesitant to give me an antidepressant for anxiety, and instead said he'd increase my depakote to see if it'd help. Does anyone have any experience with a pdoc doing this? Did it help? Does depakote have some anti-anxiety properties?
  15. Nope! I live in the United States; I'm just backwards as can be.
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