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About Megalomaniacal

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  1. Well, why yes I have sexual feelings like any other human being would. What’s so mysterious about that? Quote me where I was shitting on anybody on here? I dare you to find me one post. I simply believe in nuclear families, as trashy single mother cat ladies aren’t ideal for raising children, let alone sons. My mother is abusive, so of course I would be fed up with trashy single mother cat ladies. Do you happen to be one yourself?
  2. So this is what I get for asking a mental health support site out? Scoffing and mockery? You know this is the reason why people shoot up schools, right? Too bad you weren’t there when Columbine or Virginia Tech or 9/11 happened so you didn’t have to experience it firsthand. You people are so used to living such a comfortable and sheltered life that you don’t care about bad things happening to others unless it’s not happening to you. I came to a mental health support website and instead I’m debating politics with feminists on a certain issue. What kind of bullshit is this? You don’t see what’s wrong with that? The reason I’m so pissed off is because a mental health support site is not a place to debate politics. If I wanted to do that, I would go on reddit or something. Plus you people are not helping me. I’m still in my current situation (in case you haven’t read the other threads), so you haven’t “helped” me with anything other than getting on my nerves. Let’s continue.
  3. You know what? Just ban me, then. How many more times do I need to shit on your couch before you kick me out? Nobody on here understands me, evidently. And everybody here is shitting on me just like everybody else. Fuck this shit.
  4. I would recommend reading this article first. Single mothers have created more school shooters than doctors, lawyers and scientists. https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-ol-patt-morrison-warren-farrell-incel-20180516-htmlstory.html The reason for mass shootings is because of the destruction of the nuclear family (two parents instead of one). If you’re a fatherless son, you’re not gonna grow up in a sustainable family environment. But I’m not dumping on women either, because I would probably say the same for mothers too. You can’t have one without the other. This entire concept of dingle motherhood is a slap in the face to thousands of years of biology and evolution. Humans weren’t meant to be raised by one parent. That’s total BS.
  5. Okay, so I was somewhat exaggerating whenI said she spends none of it on me and all of it on herself, but what’s really happening is that she told my doctor a whole bunch of bullshit in that I was going to spend it all on drugs and told him a whole bunch of lies about me, so that she could get it. Then she quit her job and is living off it and only buys me cigarettes and junk food from gas stations instead of using that money to bolster my resume or do anything that is productive. When I list my grievances with her, her excuse is that I “didn’t tell her enough” or something bullshit like that. And even when I told her she never did it. Apparently she wants my life just as miserable as her own pointless life. I’m sick and fed up of living here and hate everybody who lives here with every last inch of my fucking body and want to see them go down. I’ll call these people up tomorrow, but I don’t know my social security and I don’t know my mom’s either. These people are no help. It takes them forever just to get my haircut. They don’t even buy me deodorant either. Like I have to remind or something. Fucking worthless.
  6. My life has been shit for nearly a decade at this point. Since January 2011, I’ve had to endure more bullshit than a human being can handle and now even to this day my fucked up situation continues. Let me give you a quick rundown. -my mom is an abusive cunt. -my mom quit her job and is now living off my disability money while I get none of it as it all goes to her bank account so she can spend it all on herself. -my mom is an unmarried mother of three illegitimate children from three different sperm donors catlady who lives with her mom and dad and is almost 40 now (born in ’79). -my mom treats me like a disposable fashion accessory that went out of style years ago instead of like a son and favors her latest addition to the gene pool who happens to be an uncontrollable screaming brat who does shit deliberately to piss me off and hides behind my mom because he knows she’ll let him get away with it and will always yell at me for coming at him because he broke something of mine, keeps following me around and staring at me, screaming so loud that I can hear him from a block away all the while he’s almost 10 years old now and they never do their jobs at parenting him. -I tried applying for college but they called that off behind my back -I tried getting a job at multiple places but either they never took me for the application under various different excuses or even if I did get an application, they never called or emailed me back -I’ve only ever worked one job for one day and that was at some farm picking peanuts out in a field in the hot ass sun all day and only came out with $10 after countless hours of backbreaking work -they apparently seem to have a problem with me having money, but yet bitch every time I have to ask them for something all the while telling me I’m not grateful enough (my boomer grandparents tell me this). They once even told me that I’m not allowed to even have money (my mom). -I had to spend all of my birthday money on my mom and my friend who came over for beer, snacks and other junk food/cigarettes, all because my mom was too cheap to use my own fucking disability money to pay for it -they’ve got a new puppy chihuahua that I fucking hate with a fiery passion that has shit in my bedroom, pissed on the rug, vomited on the tables, and will eat your food when you’re not looking and they still haven’t gotten rid of it or the other dozens of cats and dogs that live outside because they keep feeding them since they’re cat ladies. -everybody that I live with bitches at me constantly every single day, usually over stupid bullshit that doesn’t make any sense, like for example, my grandmother once bitched at me for going through the kitchen one way and coming out the other, they’ve also bitched at me over other weird, stupid shit too, like swallowing too hard when I drink because I was thirsty, taking too many showers, and complaining that I have to constantly walk over the barricades put in the halls to prevent my uncles stupid toddler from getting into the hallways and kitchen. -I am constantly depressed and miserable now and have been for eight years, to the point of developing major depression and Schizoaffective Disorder -I’m in my early 20s now but they still treat me like a toddler, as though I have no rights as an adult. >I feel like killing all of them every single day because of how much I hate them but I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life either, and even if I were to so much as hit my mom, she would tell my dad who would then beat my ass, even though neither I nor her have anything to do with anymore and haven’t for over a decade now. -I can’t escape them because I don’t have a car, any friends/girlfriends, and no family members who have any room to move me in with them and even if I were to walk off, I would still have nowhere to go, because I live out in the country and the people here probably think I’m crazy, if not outright hate me -I get yelled at constantly >I’ve called 911 twice recently in order to have myself committed just to get away from them because there’s nowhere else for me to go. The first time some police showed up and they had called some crisis counselor guy who scheduled an appointment for me (to which they never took me) and the second time I asked them to bring an ambulance after crying for hours and they put me in there for not even a day before I was discharged after having to wait for three hours for my Medicaid transport to arrive. -I’ve called the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline hundreds of times in the past few months because of how much mental distress and anger I’ve been in recently and hundreds more in the previous years. -I’m currently planning on moving out into these apartments at this counseling service place, but the woman who owns the place is on maternity leave and has been on maternity leave for several months now (possibly a year it seems) and she’s taking way too long to help me get out when my desire to get out is urgent. And that is what’s been going on with me lately. That’s not even counting the almost decades worth of shit she’s done and said to me to make my life miserable. I want to get out so desperately. I can’t even think about them without flying into bouts of extreme, uncontrollable rage, much less have to live around them everyday and see their faces and hear their annoying ass voices every day. I want this nightmare to end. Does anyone know of anything I can do? Why is this even legal?
  7. The reason I don't consider my sexual interactions with men to be legitimate sexual experiences or as you say "part of my sexuality" is because it's much easier to get with a man than with a woman. The way men work and the way women work is very different. When you're gay, you can just have as much anonymous sex as you want. With women, you need to ask her for her number, introduce yourself to her, then start dating her, and after a while, finally be able to fuck her. If you get her pregnant, then you have to worry about a whole bunch of other shit, like raising the kid. And if she takes your house and children from you, you now have to pay child support and if you don't, you go to jail and get labeled a deadbeat piece of shit because you can't conjure all of that money from your ass at will that you need to pay for it, and you have to keep paying money until they become adults to where what was once your kid now becomes more like a car payment to you for a car that you don't even own. I hate to offend anybody on here, but that's one of the reasons I was too afraid to start dating women again. It's because the last time I dated this one girl (even though it was online and we never met), she started seeing this other guy and started parading him around on her FB profile, and I started self-harming and she called me pathetic for it. It's because I'm not prepared to deal with a woman's shit. Simple as that. I just want sex and that's it. But then again, if I had to pay a prostitute for it, then I wouldn't really be a slayer, now would I? With men, you buy the pizza from the pizza restaurant. For women, you have to buy the entire pizza restaurant just to order the pizza. See how that works?
  8. Sorry if I am a bit late to respond, but no, I am using the term "incel" a bit more broadly. As in, I am somebody who is celibate, but involuntarily (i.e. I have a sex drive, but for a number of reasons I cannot fulfill my sexual desires even when I want to). In other words, I'm a virgin. I'm 21 years old, btw. Also, as for the part about the gay thing, it happened when I started crossdressing and went on a gay dating app and hooked up with some guy in my neighborhood. I do not hate women. There are many women who have been very friendly to me. While a majority of them I don't see anymore since they went to my school and I don't go to school anymore, but I see women the same way that I do men. Just because one woman was a bitch to me doesn't mean that I see all women as bitches. Sometimes it was my own fault, because since I was raised to a single mom (who aren't as keen to raising sons into men as fathers are, because they can't learn those cues from women, they have to learn them from men in order to know how to become men), I don't know how you're supposed to really act around women. I have creeped some women out in the few encounters I had with them a long time ago (only two times), so I want to prevent that from happening again. I don't know how to approach women, what to say, how to talk to them, etc. My mom obviously isn't going to teach me that, neither will anybody else, so I'm gonna have to learn that somehow. I hate being so lonely and sexually deprived. It's gotten so bad to where any time I see a man and a woman either in real life, TV or anywhere, I literally feel like killing myself. I feel like taking my grandfather's gun and shooting myself in the head. I get suicidally depressed because of how badly frustrated I am sexually. I've gotten to where I can't even look at straight porn anymore (or any porn involving women). I get so ashamed of myself and I get so angry because of how much anxiety I have around women and how much I'm missing out. But I've also recently noticed it's around pretty much anybody. Getting with men is much easier than with women. At least for me.
  9. Don't know if this is the right place to ask, but I've never been too confident about my looks. I often got picked on which resulted in low self-esteem for myself and body dysmorphia. I've dated a few girls online, but never had a real life relationship with a girl. This is what contributes to my loneliness and self-hatred. Never kissed a girl before, never had sex with a girl before. It's because of how anxious I am when I'm around them. I don't know what they're going to be saying about me. I don't know if they'll start laughing at me or it'll result in a major embarrassment for me, so I avoid eye-contact with women in real life. I've had women flirt with me before, but I never gave in because I was too nervous or embarrassed. I've had sex one time before, but it wasn't with a member of the opposite sex (and I wasn't even on top either). I've had two other sexual encounters before as well, but they were both homosexual in nature too. Is this social anxiety causing this? I've noticed that I'm not as anxious around men as I am around women.
  10. Thank you and others for your concerns. I woke up and still felt depressed. I can’t find any happiness in my life. I’ll forever be without friends. All I want is just a friend. Someone I can talk to. Someone I can speak to when I feel down. I don’t have any emotional support, I just stay alone all day with no one. I wasted away my teenage years with depression, hospitalizations, conflict, bullying and all kinds of horrible stuff. Those years in my life I’ll never get back. I’ve never had a girlfriend. And honestly, I just want someone so I won’t be alone. But I always am.
  11. I just received a shot of some invega the other day I just got 10x worse. I want to kill myself. I want to cut my head off with a chainsaw. I just broke a lawn chair. I’ve been screaming. I have no one to talk to. No one likes me. Not even my own family. They won’t talk to me because they don’t care. I have no friends and I’m going to die alone.
  12. I do constantly but I’m not going to to go into any further detail. Does anyone else feel this way? I don’t tell my counselor about this to avoid being sent back to a psychiatric institution which only makes me 1000x worse and I even tried to kill myself the first time I was committed. I want to make sure that I never go back. I would rather die than go back. I’ve made many desperate cries for help like this in the past. I can’t do anything in life. I hate my life. I want to fucking die.
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