Jump to content


  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Blahblah

  • Rank

Profile Information

  • Gender

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. Same. I can be severely depressed, yet you better bet I'll still be taking showers and eating 3 times per day...Now being "productive" with my time (without sleeping half the day away), exercising, socialising or doing laundry are by far a different story...
  2. I've heard the term "high functioning" applied to every diagnosis. Far as I know, yes, you look fine, well & happy on the outside (like no none would suspect at all) You are great at hiding it in the public sphere, in order to do what you need to do (highly capable in daily living, working, socialising) but inside, you are a mess. I don't think you need to be an overachiever to be high functioning. You may still avoid some things (everyone does) but many things you usually don't (like socializing, going to work, etc). You aren't "disabled" by your MI for the most part.
  3. Ritalin, but it doesn't work that way anymore unfortunately.
  4. Very discouraged. Having a tough time staying positive.
  5. Productive day, thanks to added ritalin and caffeine. Got some important stuff done, despite feeling a bit like a druggie.
  6. What is an average length of time it takes to build tolerance to a benzo? I know it totally varies depending on metabolism, etc. I rarely take Xanax (only occasionally) .25 never had much noticeable effect but .50mg works for me, for sleep. I often wonder how often & how consistently I'd need to take .50mg until i needed an increase? If It's anything like ritalin, the tolerance built up within several months of daily use. Effects became weaker as the months went along but I just suffer and resist increasing my dose because I don't want to "max out"
  7. Meh. Apathy. I just want to go lay back in bed. Can't seem to think of anything enjoyable to put on my to do list. Only work & chores. Nothing is enjoyable or rewarding at moment except sleeping.
  8. Yes - long time ago, invigorating actually. Are you able to do headstands and/or handstands?
  9. Hmm I lean towards the messy side, but it bugs me (and I end up disorganized, losing sh*t), so I don't leave things messy for long. What is your favorite plant/flower/tree?
  10. I'm pretty sure adderall turned things around for me four years ago and made it so I could get work done. I don't know that there's really anything in it's place now that it's not working much. It's not even that I'm depressed without it working, because that's probably a combination of all my meds, but I can't can't get anything done and have no motivation to get things done, beyond the abstract. This is what I worry about is happening to me with Ritalin. it completely brought me back from the "dead" 2 years ago, I was motivated, positive and for a bit I was functioning to the best of my ability. Little by little, it's puttered out and I get a good 2 hours out of it, and just sort of become a complete slug in the afternoon when it wears off. Not necessarily depressed (my other meds prop me up) but I have no initiative, energy or drive to do anything. I don't want to have to keep increasing & increasing, popping it like candy because sometimes I get the opposite effect (with more, sometimes I'll get more tired, or edgy). It must be doing something however, because I can barely get up in the morning without it. I suppose I could just try to take a longer break and maybe re-start it? I don't know, it's the main thing that noticeably helps me. But the tolerance thing blows.
  11. You definitely sound depressed and/or burnt out from mental exhaustion. It's not normal to criticize yourself everyday, have obsessive negative (suicidal ideation) thoughts and no energy or focus. What was your normal "baseline" mood, when you've felt better? I also have days where I feel pretty normal and functioning. I can distract myself and enjoy a moment. However, I still consider myself chronically depressed because those days are far and few, they never last more than a couple months. Increased stress and situational life triggers also send my mood spiraling out of control. I've come to somewhat accept at this point that I have a chronic illness, that I will have to manage my entire life. If I can't go into complete remission, I hope to manage the worst episodes so that I can have a somewhat normal life (job, relationships, hobbies). There are different levels of depression, which manifest in different ways. I don't think you need to be sad, sobbing everyday to have clinical depression. Dysthymia can manifest as a sense of unworthiness, avoidance, isolation, lack of motivation/interest/focus, fatigue, boredom, anhedonia even. I think the key is, does this mood limit your ability to function day to day? People without depression can get sad for a justifiable reason, but they are able to bounce out of it and maintain a healthy perspective for the most part. While people with clinical depression often cannot (at least without meds or some form of therapy). Maybe others will add more here, but this is just my 2 cents in dealing with different forms of depression for 2 decades.
  12. Worried, unmotivated, can't focus. I'm also not wanting to go to therapy today. Blah...
  • Create New...