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About Blahblah

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    It's either the Blues or Blahs

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  • Interests
    Coffee (make it strong)
    Cats & dogs
    The Sea
    Writing (well, private ramblings in my journal)
    Any escape from my own mind
    Kind souls

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  1. I need to start adding to this thread, I hope we can all keep each other accountable & encouraged here.... !! (Otherwise I will go BONKERS just feeling aimless and useless. For today: 1.) Get out of bed by 9:15am (this is one I'm struggling with!!) 2.) Take all meds on time 3.) Take Supplements & Vitamins 4.) 45 min Yoga & SHOWER 5.) Write pdoc 6.) Get some groceries 7.) Teletherapy appt For tomorrow: Same as above, but add: ** Call Mom ** FIND SHORT ONLINE CLASSES TO DO IN AFTERNOONS ** (Can be even a 2-hour class) ** Review GRATITUDE LIST everyday, or add new ones ** ** Start working on Photobook (from travel photos)** ** Make To Do list
  2. Not doing well.....Was fine this morning, then depressive meltdown afternoon. Laid in bed 3 hours. I don't want to do anything.
  3. @Melancholya Hope you are doing OK?

    1. Melancholya


      Thank you for checking on me!!! I haven't felt very motivated while being in lockdown so I haven't come on here much, sorry! I am absolutely fine :) I'll come and do some commenting on blogs now.

  4. @mikl_pls thanks again...I'm at a loss as to what will be most helpful for me. I'm not sure if NE if super helpful, because it increases the "flight or flight" vigilance response. Which can easily make someone more restless and agitated it seems. Cymbalta sort of did that to me, after awhile I ended up very paranoid on edge on it. I know you are well versed in switching meds around quite often, but I am terrified of switching when I'm "stable" and have something trigger a major episode. So I just remain stuck and sort of resigned to settle. I've been told to give meds a long time before deciding to switch, and I never know when to make the move.
  5. Interesting thanks for the info. I had assumed that Fetzima would be nearly identical to Effexor, but appears that it isn't. I've never heard of milnacipran... Isn't Clomipramine (Anafril) a TCA? Yeah, pdocs always told me the side effects are much more pronounced with TCAs. Worth a shot though.
  6. How awful! That is asinine with everything going on in the world!! How the Hell do they determine your capabilities anyhow? (I've never been on longterm disability) I'm assuming a doctors authorization doesn't cut it.... I'm really curious how it all works, like do they have an official "assessor" come out every year and interview you? Talk with your psychiatrist? How long can you be on it?
  7. This makes sense. I initially was given Buproprion to counter the indifference, but that did nothing, seems a weak DRI (or maybe if you lack Dopamine in general, there's too little there for re-uptake?) This is the reason why pdoc added ritalin (a miracle at first, and now, not so much)... Sadly, SNRIs like Effexor still have this apathy effect longterm (unless you ratchet up the dose to like 300mg, a withdrawal nightmare, should you ever need to taper off it!) I often wonder if I ditched the SSRI, and switched to a TCA or MAOI (instead of the SSRI + Ritalin combo) that would be a more effective, longterm maintenance solution? Boosting Serotonin, Dopamine and Norepinephrine simultaneously? That would be ideal, but pdocs don't like TCAs or MAOIs
  8. land in my backyard?
  9. Headache, from 2 glasses wine last night. Otherwise, OK.
  10. Makes sense! I hear you with the "ain't broke don't fix it" I'm not sure what Lamictal is doing, but it's been years, and I'm afraid to stop it. Especially as it has fewest side effects (at low doses). I recall Lithium being pretty strong/numbing (at the recommended doses) that's surprising that it isn't more effective. I also don't have diagnosed ADD, but the Ritalin really helps with cognitive function, focus, and drive, it helps mitigate brain fog side effects of other meds. Have you had to increase the dose very often or take breaks from it? I wish we didn't have to keep throwing different curveballs at our brains 😕
  11. This is the billion-dollar question I have also. A huge reason why I (and many others) have such a tough time staying on them for years. I often question if they should be taken for life in many cases. For me, SSRIs will prevent / stop an acute episode, they smooth everything out, the lability, triggers stop. The apathy effect doesn't hit right away. Yet usually (within like 9-12 months) it sets in. I can't stand the "I don't give a sh*t about anything/anyone, I'll just lay here & watch paint dry..." It's really not a healthy state to be in, it's still depression, just in a different (muted) form. I'm trying to get down to the lowest possible dose that will prevent a major nosedive and maybe not have this effect. Adding a stimulant helps to an extent also, until the tolerance starts increasing. I'm no pharmacologist, but maybe there's a decrease in dopamine that occurs with longterm SSRI use?...and we are left with this serotonin sloth syndrome?
  12. Hey @Iceberg were you on Lamictal before you started Lithium? I'm curious why you'd stay on both, since Lamictal is not a heavy-hitter as far as an anti-manic. I'm assuming your pdoc is ok with Adderall because its treating the ADHD...I always thought that was a huge no no for BP folks also. The whole BP/ cyclical spectrum thing is so complicated to treat. Interesting thread for sure.
  13. I agree with many of his main points, in regards to most A/Ds do not directly enhance DA transmission, which can actually worsen residual depressive symptoms such as: impaired motivation, concentration, and pleasure. I don't really see robust evidence for using A/Ps (typical or the "atypical', whatever that means) in depression either (unless there is a psychosis element) "DA antagonists (neuroleptics), such as quetiapine, reduce signals in dopamine pathways. That strongly indicates it is ill-advised to use them to attempt to augment treatment response in serious melancholic-type depressions. Theory, and animal data, predict that action is the exact opposite of the increase in DA that strong evidence indicates is required. The clinical evidence that quetiapine augmentation actually has any substantive benefits is weak — a couple of points on a rating scale does not an anti-depressant make — in my submission any minor benefits are quite insufficient to justify administration of a class of drugs with so many long-term side-effects. Any self-respecting Bayesian would want much stronger evidence of more substantial benefit. DA antagonists such as quetiapine most certainly do not improve drive, motivation and energy — and that is what patients with severe depression need improved."
  14. Agreed, it's unbelievable that people are freaking out about staying inside for a couple weeks, "oh, poor us! what will we do not interacting with people and buying stuff 24/7?" ....I mean, seriously??? What about all the disabled, chronically ill, mentally ill or just plain introverts that exist like this 24/7 and are ignored? I doubt this situation will bring any more empathy or compassion to the world (or maybe I'm just a pessimist) The truth is, no one cares about the 130+ Suicides that happen EVERY DAY to people of ALL AGES.... I'm also seeing extended family members (age 70+) traveling, no masks, like it's no big deal. Self-entitled to go around, travel, go for long walks....It makes me angry. Like, billions of people, youth and "healthy" folks are isolating & staying home for you... It's just another mild flu for the majority of us (under 65 with no pre-existing health issues like obesity, diabetes, lung disease) But what will the majority of society learn from this? Probably nothing...! 🤬
  15. I've seen this a lot also. I just wish that researchers could come up with a novel antidepressant, and do some longer clinical trials, instead of these "makeshift" combos where they start using stuff off-label, without knowing the longterm effects or interactions. It all just feels like a shot in the dark, as if our brains are just a pinball game: start with this, for the side effect add this, oh tired, more anxious? then add this....until you don't even know which med is doing what, maybe a med pooped out, but how would you know if you add an A/P, then a benzo, then a mood stabilizer, etc etc. Then you taper off to switch, get withdrawals and the doc claims it's your "initial illness coming back" 🙄 Um no....We don't even know my baseline mood after spending 20 years experimenting with different combos etc, with no significant break...It takes time for your neurons to adjust & whatnot without a drug interfering. My body, brain and "baseline" is forever altered and dependent on drugs. Now my memory is shot, I have chronic fatigue, and I can't even poop now (daily), without stimulants! This is just wrong....!
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