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Everything posted by Blahblah

  1. Peanut butter & crackers for dinner. Started Keto diet 3 days ago to see if it helps for mood (nearly no carbs, more fat & protein) but already a fail. I grew up being told that fat was the devil and daily bacon & eggs = bad cholesterol or heart attacks. So everything was zero-fat, low calorie. How the Hell can anyone sustain UNDER 30 grams of Carbs per day? An Apple alone has 7 grams of carbs! 1 Banana has 27 Carbs. And 80-120 grams of FAT was recommended per day. Ewwww. I imagine someone just swallowing entire cubes of Butter (grass fed, of course) 3 times per day, with coconut oil in their coffee, entire avocado on the side.... @mikl_pls Are you still trying to stick to Keto? 😵
  2. Dear jt07, I still feel a void... Your daily presence here will be greatly missed, from the more serious crisis interventions, to the everyday chit-chat about weather, word associations & whatnot. You’ve been the CB “glue” welcoming us for a decade (10 years + 22,000 posts!) supporting this community. Helping create a safe space. That’s dedication. As many of us have no one to turn to, CB is a much needed haven. You’ve brought me much comfort, reassurance and kind advice throughout the nearly 3 years I’ve been here. Encouragement I don’t find in real life. You were wise, level-headed and humble. Despite your own suffering and struggles, you always showed up. You managed to listen & give to others… You HAVE left a positive mark. Rest in peace jt07. You were a friend and I am grateful for your compassion. I know you are calm, cool and at peace now.
  3. 3 years ago, I tested as "subclinical hypothyroid" and was put on Levothyrox. TSH went down to around 2, with slight improvement of symptoms (can't say it was dramatic).. but coldness and fatigue went away a bit. Fast forward, I ended up going off over a year ago (moved, new docs etc), didn't notice a huge difference after I stopped the Levo. A year ago my TSH was 3. Then when I started Ritalin, I initially wasn't fatigued, my bodytemp is warmer/sweatier with Effexor. Does Ritalin affect your Thyroid? I was told some A/Ps and A/Ds can. I'll soon get a blood test. I sleep a ton yet NEVER have energy, my vision is suddenly awful very blurry, dry eyes...I have itchy, red, dry skin that is not helped by moisturisers and sensitive skin products. I guess I don't know if these things are Thyroid-related symptoms, or side effects from my psych meds or both!
  4. Took extra Ritalin (at 3pm) then went and ran 5k at gym. Sad I need a drug to do this. Now having a beer (how healthy of me) 🙄 Gotta have some vice I guess. Could be worse, right?
  5. So true!! People can't handle my dark sarcastic humor and cynicism, so I'm forced to lighten it up or hide it. Happy I can be myself here. “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence,” wrote the connoisseur of wit, Oscar Wilde.
  6. I'm sorry @DammitJanet I had the same mattress issue when I first moved. It was awful, metal poking into my side all night. Caused a bruise. I told the manager and he replaced it within a minute! I encourage you to try to ask gently and nicely, you never know!! Sometimes it really helps to play up the smile and flattery, you know? Never try, never know. It's a reasonable request. That's awful the maids are so unfriendly. i mean, think about it - you are a GUEST. They don't know anything about you, do they? They have no right to judge you! Do they know specifics of your situation? It's their issue, it's NOT YOU. Probably they hate their job, or husband abuses them at home, who knows... If the maids are not doing their job, i would go directly to their manager. Explain what you said here, you were even willing to borrow supplies and clean yourself! I Smile, lay on the kindness, and act overly appreciative (you shouldn't have to do this) could help defrost an angry resentful person. (I worked in a call center for a couple years, having to deal with rude, angry, irritable people 8 hours a day)
  7. Lazy Lazy Lazy. Must push myself to do anything today .
  8. Windy as hell, seems all the trees will blow over 😮
  9. @de414 Definitely there's a large spectrum. Sounds like you have distinguishable Ups & downs (less of the mixed or side-to-side?) Seems most fitting with Bipolar, but with the extra rapid cycling. Maybe tweaking the dosage or experimenting with other mood stabilisers would help - have you tried any others?
  10. @de414 What is your specific pattern like? You don't hear much at all about ultradian cyclers. Maybe rare? I have something similar, every couple months, hormonally triggered. I fail to get a diagnosis for these mixed-like "episodes" They only last 2-3 hours. Not even a day! Talk about Ultra-ultra-radian. So they call it "mixed NOS" no mania at all, so not Bipolar, it's mixed severe depression/anxiety (without psychosis). Almost like sudden panic attack or like a flashback feeling (an intense depressive one, crying, lability, exhaustion, the works) I can't tolerate A/Ps, or Lithium on daily basis (too sedating, nor do I need daily). I take a PRN Xanax for them. Which is OK I guess, if I want to just go to sleep. But benzos are sort of a depressant. Anyway, I feel the pain. Increasing Lamictal has helped in prevention as well as low-dose A/D, so maybe you need to get to the right Lithium dosage? Good luck!
  11. headache still & eye pain. Grrrrrrr I'm sure it's the paint in the corridor. I'm ventilating with windows open, drinking lots of water. I guess I'll go outside but I have stuff to do and don't want to be out running around most of the day. When will this go away?? Nothing else I can do I guess 😤
  12. Yikes!!! I'm grateful I don't have that happening!
  13. I believe my father has this (never formally diagnosed, he would never go to a pdoc or GP for that matter). It was brought on because he moved every 6 months in childhood, always changing schools. He never had friends and stopped trying. He became a bookworm and developed particular obsessions with random things he'd read..like spending hours reading trade magazines about planes, or species of plants.. After coming home from work (he was a workaholic) he'd go to another room and listen to music on his headphones the entire evening. He never spoke about his childhood or family, and would avoid all talk with my mother's friends (and never talk with a stranger, hates all small talk). He refused to ask for help at any store, for directions...routinely avoids being seen or out around people...and he can spend days without speaking to anyone (just reading on his computer) He does not appear to be anxious at all about it (which I think might be one of the differentiators between AvPD and Social Anxiety disorder...I don't know, I also wonder if it might be a bit of Aspergers?)
  14. That's weird. I would assume that Pristiq would be processed quicker and have less side effects...Hmmm. Brand name Effexor is 3k per MONTH??? That's insane. So the generic was completely ineffective for you, but the brand would still be working?
  15. Major migraine. They are doing renovations this month and painting all the hallways/walls in the building. I'm sure this is what it is. Ugh....I should get reimbursed for this sh*tty inconvenience! Feel sickish :-(
  16. @jeva39 Hmmmm. I don't have an answer to your question unfortunately, never been on Concerta. But I am curious what you are taking a stimulant for? As you list Anxiety, depression with psychotic features. I thought that pdocs usually refused to RX stims in that case?
  17. @mikl_pls What exactly is the difference between Ritalin LA, Concerta and Metadate? Are they basically the same thing but one lasts longer? Or is the release mechanism completely different? I've only taken RitalinIR and RitalinLA...IR dosing is a huge pain, I like the initial effect (it works quickly also), but like @Geek mentioned, it is so short-acting & peak-y and I always crash from exhaustion. Ritalin LA is OK I guess, but it also wears off too soon (afternoon) so it's like if I have anything important to do, I must rush to get it all done by 2pm, because after that I am fairly useless. In my case it's also probably different, because I'm not treating ADD as much as apathy, lack of motivation/interest, residual depression symptoms.
  18. Had the olympian task of getting up at 6:50am today. I did it. But had to come home and sleep for 2 hours. Exhausted, groggy and can't be bothered to cook anything.
  19. I was going to suggest something like Gabapentin or Lyrica as well...both calming, but not "knock you out" like benzos or A/Ps. Another suggestion was Tegretol - I know @jt07 (RIP 😢) highly recommended that for mixed type agitation. Would lowering your Adderall temporarily help at all?
  20. I must have complete darkness...even those tiny darn device lights on chargers or appliances must be off or covered. How often do you nap? How long are your naps typically, and do you actually fall asleep?
  21. Awwwww @MiaB @Melancholya Snuggle cats! How sweet.
  22. @wookie yup, no mention of how ludicrously easy it is for any young person to buy a automatic weapon. He can blame it on the mentally ill in order to support his claim that more guns will bring more safety. All the "good guys" will be around to kill the "bad guys" like some Western shoot out. The fabric of a society has completely been torn apart from his racist misogynist rhetoric. If he gave the slightest f*ck about human beings, he would take action and do something about this. I can't even articulate how angry I am about the state of affairs in the US. The country is becoming destroyed and let's call it what it is: Trump inspired terrorism. https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2019/08/el-paso-suspect-shooter-trump-racist-manifesto.html "Crusius’ social media accounts were all taken down relatively quickly, but not before some were able to detect that he liked a lot of alt-right content. He liked tweets that had the #BuildtheWall hashtag as well as “a photo using guns to spell out ‘Trump,’ and posts from Paul Joseph Watson, a far-right Youtuber who works with Alex Jones at InfoWars,”
  23. I totally relate to this bit. i had a ton of anxiety as a child, fear of failure, self-consciousness, low self-esteem. I just don't pick things up as quickly as I think I should, I struggle to remember little detailed procedures/directions that involve a lot of steps. It's embarrassing, I require hand-holding as well. On the job, any time I need to "perform" or be assessed, I panic about screwing up and not doing it perfectly. I need to do a task several times before I can do efficiently, independently. I also don't do well with ambiguity & decision making, which sucks because all higher level jobs require this. I believe it's all due to anxiety & depression. It consumes a huge part of my mind and behavior, so my capacity is limited compared to people without these disorders...
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