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Everything posted by Blahblah

  1. @CrazyRedhead I was on Trintillex for a good 3 months I think. I didn't notice any difference from effects of SSRIs (Prozac). In fact, I think people referred to it as the "new Prozac" because it is so similar in function. I usually do trials of 2-3 months (unless intolerable side effects). It was very expensive I recall, dunno if there's a generic? Wellbutrin I've done 3 different trials. I had such high hopes for that one! The only effect I noticed was Tinnitus, increased heartrate, restless legs. Didn't seems to effect my mood or motivation. But I've never tried in combo with ritalin (docs seem concerned about heart issues with these) Ugh. I'm so tempted to just titrate off everything & do a wash-out. I've never been on more than like 3-4 meds at one time, but I hate when you don't feel like things are cutting it or working well enough... I just want to feel good...
  2. After my first dose (Pfizer), I was mainly tired (expected) but I also had an extreme drop in mood within a week. I can't 100% attribute it to the vaccine, because it was that hormonal time of month and I normally get more moody & depressed. But it was a very bad week mood-wise. I'm a bit worried about the 2nd dose, as I've heard that you are more likely to notice side effects. A week after the 2nd, my mom had an outbreak of eczema on her arms (she's never had before), swollen glands & cold sore outbreak (possible dormant herpes virus reactivation for her) I wonder how common it is for vaccines to reactivate dormant viruses (like Lyme disease, Epstein-Barr, mono, herpes, etc?)
  3. I'd love something that will boost the effects of the Ritalin. And stop this Anhedonia..... ! While my "major" depression and anxiety is (for the most part) covered, I have persistent, longterm apathy, no motivation, no engagement in anything. Nothing is pleasurable. Lethargy. I am ALWAYS mentally and physically tired - (despite having no other physical reasons to be). I forgot, I was actually considering Viibryd (if they even have it here) I will ask my pdoc. Typical SSRIs all make me more flat/ tired. (See above for my residual symptoms, mostly anhedonia, lethargy)... I stopped Effexor because of the short half-life (sometimes I accidentally miss doses, get brain zaps). Plus my eye doctor said it was causing my extreme dry eye and stressed that it can lead to issues with my eyesight (which was perfect until 3 years ago) It's a real shame because I've heard here that high-dose Effexor actually works more on Dopamine (versus low dose, being more like an SSRI) I had only gone up to 150mg because of the increased dry eye issue at higher doses 😞 At the same time, she says Ritalin exacerbates dry eye also. I think I've been experiencing some paradoxical effects from it (like I take it afternoon and immediately feel zoned out and super drained, can just stare at a wall for hours...almost worse than when I don't take the afternoon dose)
  4. This is more of a poll to see everyone's favorite med that augments Ritalin? Unfortunately, I don't have access to Adderall, Dex, or any other stimulants (not available/authorized here). So..... I'm debating on switching out my A/D... I'm leaning towards going back to Effexor. My pdoc also suggested Abilify to augment, but seems that would be counterproductive, I'm not thrilled about the side effects.
  5. @Banana Smurf Were you ever able to resolve this problem? I took quite a long break & then re-instated and it doesn't effect me nearly the same way it used to... I'm having major issues in the afternoon. (IR seems to have stronger/more noticeable effect, but I get an irritable crash after 2hours when it that wears off.) Everyday, at around 2pm I get extremely lethargic & eyes feel heavy (not sleepy, but all I can do is lay in bed) and I start zoning out. Not thinking about anything, just spacing out for hours. (this seems to happen whether i take my afternoon dose or not). I've tried tweaking my doses a bit in afternoon, but hasn't helped. Morning, I took my usual 30mg extended....then at 1pm, I took 20mg extended + 10mg IR. By 2pm I felt drained. Unfortunately, they do not prescribe any other stimulants here. (just getting ritalin is nearly impossible unless you are a 6-10 year old with severe ADHD & behavioral issues.) And they max out at around body weight (I'm 50kg, so they won't give me more than 60mg max). i can ask about Concerta, but not sure what dose would be best. I've also considered changing out my A/D again..maybe back to Effexor? I like that Prozac has a long half-life and I'm still stable if I run out or miss a couple days, (Effexor isn't as kind in that way!)
  6. I don't even know anymore. I find myself on autopilot most days. I suppose a better question is "why haven't you offed yourself yet?" (for which I have a few reasons).... but I suppose having reasons NOT to kill yourself is not the same as having things that keep you going & reasons to live.
  7. Yes, and it is *highly* contraindicated if you are taking psychiatric medications (antipsychotics, antidepressants, benzos, etc) @dancesintherain Not sure exactly where you are (assuming US) but the laws around cannabis are changing constantly. It seems CBD products (Low THC) are legal in most states? (banning Idaho, Nebraska, Kansas).. Complicated because every state has different regulations..(many only allow for specific conditions like epilepsy) https://www.ncsl.org/research/health/state-medical-marijuana-laws.aspx
  8. Recreational marijuana just made me paranoid, zoned out & dissociated with migraine (was always in social/group situations in High school when I tried it). One strain I smoked gave me delusional thoughts (ex: I was in a car with someone else driving and thought I was psychically controlling the traffic lights). Then comes an INSANE insatiable appetite.... It was a far cry from feeling a good buzz or enjoyable "high" I could never understand why people like it so much (I much prefer alcohol, although not much healthier....) Have you tried CBD? CBD products are a concentration of the CBD cannabinoid, they contain little to no THC. This is what makes CBD products different than medical marijuana: The former does not have the psychoactive effects caused by THC... You can get tinctures that have no THC and they are used for primarily sleep/ relaxation (I've tried and they do work nicely for sleep)
  9. When i changed doses, I had similar (not as pronounced...) but more like brain zaps i guess. I assume it is maybe due to the fact Effexor is works on adrenaline (epinephrine) or noradrenaline...? Can give a bit of an adrenaline rush which at times can be not so nice...
  10. @jarn @Juniper29 The GP just did some neuro-type exam (follow my fingers, close your eyes & walk, touch your nose with each hand, etc etc) It's feeling somewhat better, so will wait & see. There is no longer a bump or any bones protruding, so she didn't recommend any xray or scan unless i start getting headaches & nausea.
  11. No, Never had a diagnosed concussion. I've bumped by head pretty hard on several occasions. Always just waited it out & only got checked with xray once to make sure no bones broken.
  12. I banged my head (outer eyebrow near temple) a week ago, on a cabinet door. I'm wondering if anyone here has got a concussion from this sort of thing? How do you know for sure? I iced it for an hour immediately, so very minimal bruising, but had a large lump (which is going down). Its very tender. My temple and eyebrow still feel "achey" (it's not really a headache). I also feel extra lethargic with brain fog, abrupt worsening of mood. I go to doc tomorrow, but I read that MRI scans cannot show mild concussions (only bone fractures or brain bleeding) and I also wonder if it's just my depression getting worse (versus a head injury from a bump)...? I HATE going to the Dr for this sort of thing... because I don't want to be labeled as "malingering" or a hypochondriac mental case. Doctors always see a diagnosis of depression on my file (and meds I'm on) and of course (being a woman also), it makes them more apt to always write things off as psychological or stress-related. 😞
  13. Agree. I was never officially diagnosed with ADHD, but my depression had become so chronic & treatment-resistant to antidepressants, that a pdoc started me on ritalin as adjunct several years ago. I have the same experience as you @Equilibrium022x Early on, the IR was a godsend. I went from laying in bed all day (for months) ruminating, unable to do anything.... to having the motivation, energy, interest to complete an MA degree. But then it stops working.... I switched to extended dose, but the LA is not helpful, can barely feel it. Problem is rapid tolerance. The longer you take it, the more "iffy" the benefits are. Sometimes it seems to help (at least with focus), but now most days (mood/motivation/energy wise), it feels like I took nothing (Could go back to bed after taking it). Sometimes I feel MORE tired after taking it!! I've been told "taking breaks" helps, but for me, it doesn't.... I'm now dependent.... Within a week of not taking them, i crash & start laying in bed all day, extreme lethargy, brain fog, crying spells, unable to function, or do anything. Now I get why many pdocs are resistant to prescribe them for depression (at least for more than a few months)
  14. Don't know where to put this as I'm not BP...but...... Apart from feeling apathetic mostly everyday & unable to do anything productive, I spend hours browsing/shopping online (but NOT actually buying anything). I create a profile on various sites, comparison shop, save dozens of things on Wishlists and keep going back wanting to buy stuff, but I don't. Can be everything from furniture, rugs, bath products, pillows, artwork, clothing... It's a wierd addiction because I'm like the opposite of impulsive. I don't have the budget to buy the stuff I want (and luckily by sheer willpower, I don't). I waste hours saving stuff on my Wishlists (even putting 6 or so items in my Amazon cart) but I don't actually buy. Anyone else do this? What is this a symptom of? (Edit: I actually often go back to buy 1 thing I saved 2 months prior, just to find it's out of stock & I get gutted)
  15. Feeling so sad today.... overwhelmingly alone.....since I woke up. I hate days / mornings like this. I just want to crawl back in bed, under the covers.
  16. That's awful... What dose where you on & for how long? I've heard that A/Ps can cause permanent TD, yet docs often downplay it. Like, it'll go away as soon as you stop, etc, etc. For many people it doesn't. I was on very low dose for a short period, and developed weird constant twitches & uncomfortable writhing movements of my shoulder, restlessness, but tired at the same time... i couldn't stop shifting weight from foot to foot, adjusting body position, rubbing my toes together. Much of the time I didn't know I was doing it, people commented. It's Poison.
  17. I totally feel the same and agree with you.... I wish there were support groups near me, but there are none. So I just have these online forums. Pretty much on my own.
  18. Gosh @esmerinhell you're only 16? You sound wise for your years πŸ™ƒ Sounds like something I could've written and I'm about 3x your age. You seem to have a solid awareness of your patterns. Have you tried therapy? You do have youth on your side now, so you still have time to improve things! I know exactly what you mean by meds artificially removing the thoughts. But they are a somewhat necessary band-aid. I wish I had an answer...sometimes you have to hang on to things that keep you afloat, whether that be a parent, therapist, a pet, nature, creative outlet... Yep, I know "surviving" is not "thriving" but Suicide has never been an answer for me, because I don't know what eternal Hell exists beyond, maybe even worse than existing here & now....Anyway, maybe this wasn't helpful or encouraging, but just wanted to let you know you are not alone.
  19. Whoa...sounds scary and sort of extreme to me. I'm surprised they wouldn't recommend TMS or ECT first. I've never heard of brain surgery being recommended (nowadays) for OCD....In fact, even ECT/TMS is usually only recommended for those with treatment-resistant Depression (I think)... Is there anyone who has already done this procedure that you can talk to?
  20. Probably a bit of both - Most people who are struggling with a diagnosed depression or anxiety will not benefit much from only 2 months of therapy....(Although the NHS and other insurance entities often max out 2 months) but 2 months of sessions are more appropriate for a temporary/transient anxiety, job burn out, death of a family member, etc. But I also know well the feeling of dread about going every week, talking over & over about stuff and not feeling much better or ever seeing any full remission. I wouldn't depend on talk therapy so much if I had real social support or someone else to actually talk to.
  21. I hear you. Some thoughts: I have a good awareness of the "why" and understanding where many of my anxieties/depression/fears/reactions come from (past experiences, specific traumas, genetic/biological makeup). Unfortunately, this "knowledge" does not eradicate or change the way I feel or experience certain situations. If that makes sense? I suppose I could temper my internal "reactions" even more, but honestly, when many of my feelings or disappointments are indeed justified or valid, what can you do? Process, talk about it & move on I guess. Otherwise try to bypass & ignore your real feelings? Radical acceptance? As far as making & maintaining friends, gaining support, this is where I would love to make some progress...But, I've realized relationships are a 2-way street. For so long i blamed myself and thought it was my behavior, something *I* am doing wrong, when much of it is society and other flakey or selfish people just having busy lives. Do you have any YouTube video recommendations? πŸ™ƒ
  22. This is a good point @Antecedent When in crisis mode, therapy is just about putting out the fire, and tweaking emergency meds. Whereas, at calmer times, you can dive deeper into long standing patterns and build a better awareness or insight. But....How do you know when therapy is "working" ?? I'm just so impatient and wonder if it's worth it just to gain more awareness (when I'm already well aware of the problems I have.). I have never achieved the transformative change of perspective & feelings that I desire.
  23. How is everyone doing these days? How are you occupying/taking care of yourself? It's the same sh&t different day here.... Tough to believe it's 2021, a new year, with the pandemic having no clear end in sight. Wake me when it's over.
  24. Same.... I feel like this sh&t is never going to end. And I'm angry... Angry that despite all the masks, precautions, lockdowns, closures, restrictions, warnings/pleads from hospital workers, there must be many people still gathering together closely indoors. I understand the UK variant is more contagious, but if everyone was actually following ALL of the rules, it wouldn't be this bad! Even when things do open again & people can socialize, it's been so damn long since I've dressed in proper clothes, got out of bed before 10:30am, or spoken to anyone. I am afraid I won't ever be able to return to real functioning in life. I haven't been able to exercise (no room in flat & freezing/cold weather outside) I feel like I've physically aged about 30 years. And my apathy has just multiplied. I can't stand being trapped inside and have no interest or patience to read or do anything productive. I can't go on like this much longer. An entire year wasted.
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