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Everything posted by Blahblah

  1. Err no...last time I just stuck some Scotch tape around until it could be maintenanced. What are you procrastinating on right now?
  2. Yeah, and I will bring it up again at my upcoming appointment. I've already switched to taking it at night, and I don't feel different... I did the Prozac taper from Cymbalta years ago, so sounds like it will also work well for Effexor. I've used Prozac for very short periods, not sure why I haven't stayed on it. It's probably because all SSRIs seem to have this numbing/blunting effect. Ive always been told it isn't the case with SNRI's but I honestly feel the same sort of thing... Yeah I've taken at night 2 days in a row and feel the same...Effexor is not really "sedating" per say, it's probably just this apathetic depression I have (and situational factors) that it is exacerbating. I just don't give a damn about ANYTHING and just want to lay in bed half the day. I've tried Prozac bridge before, low dose for a few weeks and don't recall anxiety (maybe a bit of insomnia at first) I just want more of an "SSRI light" to see if I can still avoid my severe crying symptoms/dysphoria, yet better mitigate this apathy symptom. There must be a better in-between? I'm so sick of a med removing one symptom, and yet it brings on another negative symptom that is nearly as debilitating - along with other physical side effects. I'm sooooooo sick of it all, it's literally taking all my effort to stay on this crap. In the end, it's not really helping enough. I still don't care for living....meds just dull my cognition and numb even potential positive emotions.
  3. My last therapist told me Self Harm includes my habitual coping behaviors like: Negative ruminations, avoiding/procrastination and laying around/sleeping during the day... 😞 It now makes complete sense. I always thought Self-harm was extreme like: cutting yourself or engaging in risky behaviors, drug addictions, eating disorders, etc. But my behavior IS in fact harming me, quite a lot!! Can only lead to worse...Sitting around all day doing nothing, scrolling mindlessly on FB, no exercise, is very harmful on the body and mind. I need to find some alternatives that I can stick to. All day I have nowhere really to go, the weather is crap awful, no one to talk to, after finishing basic chores (laundry, dishes, tidying up, shower) I have nothing to do that feels fun or remotely "good" I need more strategies, like something more active...I've tried music, journaling, meditation, stretching, trying to draw or do something artistic...and I just FORCE myself, it never sticks... I don't know what to do? I can't afford a gym right now, but will join as soon as I can....
  4. Have a strong itch to drop Effexor...(I won't go cold turkey). It stopped my dysphoric crying spells, but now, 10 months later, I'm feeling increasingly flat, apathetic, numb, no motivation (even after dropping to 75mg). I hate how all A/Ds have this lobotomy effect on me longterm. It's initially fine in acute episodes, I'm not sad now, but I can't function properly, and I continue to score Moderate-Severe on the depression scale. I think it's counteracting my Ritalin (which I increased to 30-40mg)? I don't want to increase Effexor above 150mg, I'd never be able to go off. I'm trying dosing at night instead, will this make any difference @mikl_pls ? I skipped yesterday's morning dose (then came the intense nausea, over stimulation & brain slosh awfulness @10 hours later) and I took my dose with dinner. I'm seriously considering going on low-dose mild SSRI instead (Prozac?) I'm sensitive to meds & side effects, and I'm also VERY worried about withdrawals. Especially from Effexor, they are the WORST, and I just read study that Effexor withdrawal syndrome is not dose-dependent: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/7402189_Venlafaxine_and_Serious_Withdrawal_Symptoms_Warning_to_Drivers https://metro.co.uk/2018/01/24/woman-shares-coming-off-antidepressant-ruined-life-7255570/
  5. Do you feel anything at 10mg? I've tried experimenting with my dose, 30-40mg per day. ( I don't want to be taking 3 times per day, so I divide it morning & afternoon) At moment, I have 30mgLA (morning) and 10mg IR for afternoon....But oddly enough, I think taking 20mgLA and 20mgIR afternoon worked better...I swear it's a crapshoot sometimes! Sometimes I feel it works well, and other times I just feel numb and lethargic.
  6. Still feeling really meh, just wanting to lay around
  7. I think I'm experiencing the same. I had a 2-month break and now that I re-started I feel really drained and flat, focus is good but no motivation, interest..I'm not sure what's going on. The effect seems to vary a lot
  8. Yup - Double Depression here. The whole severe/suicidal ideation/dysphoric episodes have (for the most part, knock on wood) been in remission, but I have chronic/persistent Dysthymia...this apathy, feeling negative (sometimes hopeless), lack of motivation/interest. Wanting to lay in bed all day. Inability to complete anything I start. I've had brief relief from Ritalin, but with tolerance, it doesn't work so well anymore. I've heard ECT isn't worth the risk for dysthymia...and other meds are just overkill, they really don't touch it.
  9. Comfortably numb.

  10. I feel fine, but I have no motivation or interest in doing anything, everything is a chore....so bizarre. Must force myself. When is this gonna get easier?
  11. 😳 Whoa that's scary... you were only on it for less than 1 week? Does Adderall often have similar withdrawals?
  12. Avoiding, Avoiding, Avoiding (stuff I need to do)

  13. I find the MBTI test to be too binary with no room for "gray" As I've become older, I find it harder to choose between the 2 options because they are extremes. At any rate, I'm always an NFP, but overall, in middle of Introvert/Extrovert depending on mood & situation. As an adult, I'm more outgoing. Some nights I enjoy a good party & socializing, other times I'd rather curl up alone in bed with a book. 1x1 or small groups I'm more extrovert, large crowds (or if I'm anxious) an introvert. But I hate hate drawing any public attention to myself, and hate instigating conflict, so I guess I'm not a full extrovert? It's a broad scale....
  14. Question for all of you: did you ever take Wellbutrin alone, or always with other meds? Which other meds? Are there different formulations? How long until it worked? Did it "brighten" both mood/energy? i've trialed Wellbutrin twice, heard so many great things, no blunting, doesn't obliterate sex life. But I don't remember really noticing much antidepressant effect. I had tinnitus, sweating, rapid heartbeat, mild restless legs...I think I took it for 2 months at 300 or 350mg. It was either by itself or with Lamictal only... Maybe it's redundant, but I'm still tempted to try it instead of Effexor...I'm really over the apathy/blunting from SSRIs/SNRIs... maybe Ritalin would work synergistically with it...
  15. I used Lamictal for monotherapy for a long time. I'm sensitive to meds. Least side effects compared to other meds. I felt balancing/calming effects at 75mg. Now at 100mg, it's helpful with no side effects (I get noticeable side effects at 200mg, like cognitive fog, forgetfulness, memory issues and word finding issues) I think it's a good maintenance med, but not for acute episodes. It's really pretty "subtle" maybe best for folks with very mild swings... When my mood starts to go down, I increase it to 125mg, and I add an antidepressant & stimulant.
  16. Sexual attraction? Ha....what's that? Only felt this in the past when I was either a.) drunk/buzzed and b.) not on antidepressants. Depression, stress and hormone fluctuations destroy it. On a mental/visual level, yes certain men are sexually attractive, but do I actually FEEL this attraction? No....I haven't goggled over a guy or "hot" celebrity in like 20 years. I feel nothing.
  17. Since this thread is called "What the Hell is THAT? Medical, Nutritional, and Lifestyle Alternatives" what is appropriate to post here? There are many vitamins, supplements, diets, edmr therapies, MDMA, mushrooms, psychedelics, hypnotherapy, spirituality, controversial stuff, etc that aren't "proven" or regulated, and in these cases, many people post questions, information and personal experiences here. I guess my question is, where do we draw the line? A small study? Many peer-reviewed large national studies? There are many legit hospitals that are adopting Integrative/Alternative medicine, Acupuncture, Hypnotherapy, QiGong (OK, not Crystal therapy...) so they must have some benefit? I don't think the OP had any malintention here, or was trying to "steer vulnerable people away from their treatment" He/she did not say crystals would "cure you" of disease or MI. However, I do agree, he/she could have been more conscientious to mention that in no way does he/she condone quitting any meds or course of therapy. It can lead to a harmful slippery slope (looking at you GOOP/Gwyneth Paltrow) Personally, I don't see any harm in posting & having a conversation about alternative therapies, as long as you mention again, that you are NOT condoning quitting meds or evidenced medicine. I totally understand that CB is pro-med and it is not the place for "selling" unproven, non-evidenced therapies. I don't see how the OP was pushing or "selling" this?
  18. I don't ever appear depressed either, I'm a pretty high functioning depressive (when I need to be) I also had meaningful friendships in my 20's and haven't been able to develop the same quality friendships since. This is why I think much of it is due to age. Good for you, deleting your Facebook. I don't know why I don't - I guess because honestly, that seems to be the only place where people interact these days. Yes, everyone is "Sooooo busy" no one calls or emails (except older generation). Nobody writes just to say hello or chat. It's like people are disposable now, like objects or they want something from you. If it's not convenient or instant validation, they'll just swipe, Next! People are not at all eager to commit to a relationship that is beyond texting. With online dating, there is the game playing thing, no one wants to look too desperate (like they have no life) or unhinged. Or maybe they have anxiety about meeting up? Are these women living far away? if so, I can understand why they would not want to fly out to meet a stranger, or someone they don't know well....I think that is a normal, safety thing. I'm always told the best way to meet someone compatible is to immerse yourself in activities, hobbies and events or a course that you enjoy and a friendship will develop naturally over time....start small like a afternoon coffee or something. I haven't had much luck with that though. Happy early Birthday btw.
  19. I totally get this sentimentality. I have a very maudlin temperament. It is getting more difficult to authentically interact and meet people due to the all-consuming digital world we live in. I don't know your age, but age and life stage is a huge factor. After university, everybody retreats to their insular lives and families. They have their established friends. Meetup events are plenty, but friendships never seem to develop beyond the most surface level. Do you feel like people reject you because they think you are "weird?" or too depressed? For years I completely blamed myself....thinking, well maybe I'm not interesting, outgoing, confident or happy enough. But society has changed and no longer supports real life interactions...authenticity, vulnerability. Everyone promotes a fake social media identity & perfect fantasy life. Look at Japan, have you heard of Hikikomoris? Young people are becoming complete recluses, withdrawing from society, never leaving their room and only playing video games and going online all day for years at a time: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hikikomori There are 700,000 individuals living as Hikikomori within Japan...mental illness is on the rise. This is where the world is headed, breakdowns of community...it is very sad.
  20. Having life long chronic depression means that most negative criticism sticks to me like glue....I ruminate and repeat it in my head over & over. Ever since I was a child, criticism always would override anything positive. Positive statements towards me don't emotionally resonate. This is another reason CBT didn't help, I can rationally tell myself that I am overgeneralizing or painting a "negative" picture, but no matter how many positive statements or affirmations I repeat to myself it's all just empty words. This also shows up as lack of confidence and lack of self-esteem. It causes me to avoid challenging myself.
  21. @aquarian Thanks. So has there been anything that has helped or improved things? Doctors always write it off as depression / stress symptom, but I am actually not stressed and my mood has been stable...I slept 10 hours last night and despite setting an alarm at 8:45am, I could not get myself going & out of bed until 11:30am... @argh Provigil is also a stimulant I'm assuming? Does it have a completely different mechanism than ritalin and adderall? I've been drinking coffee all my life and it doesn't really do much of anything.
  22. Pretty decent 🙂 Accomplished 2 important things/goals today.
  23. I love crystals, but I've never really believed they actually do anything....but who knows! One thing I do worry about (speaking of electrical properties) is all the EMF's that surround us! With 5g and more & more tech in our homes. Modern life & city living is harmful psychologically & stressful and there are some studies that link EMF's to cancer. All I know is that I feel refreshed when surrounded by nature, it feels cleansing to me. I wish there were more little immersive nature spots in big cities to escape all the noise, pollution and technology. I try to buy a lot of indoor house plants, but we have such little sun, and no outdoor space. it's really difficult to maintain them. My Yucca tree is doing amazing (sturdy resilient guy) but my Succulents are all lacking sun and drooping, losing leaves.
  24. Can you increase your Pristiq? If i recall, you had been on Effexor for a long time and it pooped out - do you feel more benefit on Pristiq?
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