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BackOnTop

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About BackOnTop

  • Rank
    Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    female
  • Location
    Indiana
  • Interests
    memes, modern philosophy, animals

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  1. I'm really sad. I miss chat. It was so much easier to talk to people at any time. Forums are nice and all but chat was like talking to real people. Forums feels like I'm sending a letter to someone across the country. I want my support back.
  2. I'm on Seroquel 50mg to help me sleep. I keep sleeping 13+ hours a day and I'm always tired. It's partially because of Seroquel and insomnia but also partially because I just need to sleep all day. Before I was on Seroquel I slept all day too but it's just a lot worse now. I keep missing my classes because I need to sleep until 2 or 3pm. Anyone have any suggestions to help?
  3. I forgot to eat dinner but I just ate a popsicle does that count?
  4. What does medically frail mean in context of HIP (Healthy Indiana Plan) insurance? Out of the blue, I received a letter that said I was deemed medically frail but it didn't explain anything else. I don't really understand the explanations online.
  5. Yeah I have a psychiatrist and a therapist but I haven't told either about this. I am going to. I have appointment scheduled for the end of the month. Right now I'm on Pristiq 100mg and my pdoc added Seroquel 150mg for sleep and anxiety.
  6. I used to be vegan. I don't recommend joining any vegetarian or vegan groups. They're hostile and cultish most of the time. I am now a mostly vegetarian. It's much easier than being vegan. Vegan takes a lot of effort in order to make sure you get all your nutrition, at least I thought it did. It took a lot of mental work that I just can't do.
  7. I think I might be experiencing mild/early psychosis, usually at night. I start getting scared and think demons/strangers are going to come out from other parts of my house, regardless of it being locked and secured. Sometimes noises, like the ticking of a clock, become very loud, louder than it is usually. Out of the corner of my eye I think I see shadowy figures of people. The last thing is hard to explain. I'll see like bright shapes in my peripheral vision or if I look at a picture of a woman I can see a bright outline of her face when I look away. I don't know how to explain it. One time I locked myself in my bathroom because I thought people broke into my house and misheard my upstairs neighbor's TV as the "people" that broke into my house talking, but there was no one there. There have been many days where I've stayed up all night staring at my front door terrified someone/thing is "going to get me." Usually, part of me knows that these things are not real but I still feel like they are and it's very scary. I don't know if this is psychotic or if I'm just being paranoid. This has been happening for a little over a year, inconsistently. I have a history of dissociation and I have MDD, anxiety, and insomnia but I do not think I've ever had hypomania or mania. My mom has Bipolar I disorder with psychosis so I know I'm at an increased risk.
  8. Thank you! I'll ask about Remeron when I see my psych at the end of the month
  9. Yes! I think my psychiatrist is pretty good. He's the only one that I've went (and I've seen more than a couple) that has recognized I have MDD and not situational depression. He's the only one to read my psychiatric history all the way back to when I was 3 years old. I am worried that after some time he will give up on me. My mom told me I should shoot for a 4/10 depression which breaks my heart. I don't want to be moderately depressed for the rest of my life. I want to be able to function well. I want to be able to brush my teeth everyday. Just because I'm not thinking about dying everyday does not mean I am better
  10. Has anyone had a basically non-existing appetite on Pristiq? I have had this problem for a few weeks since I had my dose upped to 100mg. It's so hard for me to eat food. I rarely feel hungry and only notice I need to eat when I get irritable and tired. When I try to eat it's hard to choke it down unless it's something like plain bread. I also started Seroquel this week so I was expecting to get at least a little appetite back but it hasn't happened (yet). Has anyone had something similar happen with Pristiq or another drug? How the hell do I fix this? I need to lose weight but I would prefer to be able to eat food too.
  11. Mentally, it feels like yourself was stolen from you and you can never get it back. Hopeless. You're constantly gas lighting yourself which doesn't help and your self esteem is lower than my college GPA. Anything you try to focus on is uninteresting and no matter how hard you try you can't seem to do anything involving critical thinking. Physically, it feels like your body is made of bricks and everything you try to do takes 1000x more energy than someone without depression... but you wouldn't do it anyways because you feel hopeless and useless so why bother. When your depression is improving then you feel like you've survived a life threatening illness, and you have. It takes a really strong person to keep going when it feels like there is no reason to continue. IMO anyone that can hold down a job or keep up with school while struggling with depression deserves a goddamn award.
  12. I live in a small town but the police have done mental health checks on my mom and she wasn't charged with anything. The small town thing might influence that since there are more police resources available, but generally you can call the police department or a mental health hospital if you are suicidal and not be charged. If you call 9/11 I have no idea how that works but if you're in an emergency about to hurt yourself don't hesitate to call and ask for an ambulance. Your health is more important than a misdemeanor that can easily be contested.
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