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Everything posted by SUEzie

  1. "Any idiot can face a crisis. It's day-today living that wears you out" - Anton Chekov -suzie
  2. I think there's a NAMI chapter in my town. They might know some BP stuff I want (and need) to know. I may call them today. Thanks for the link. Nice to have, and I appreciate the thought.. I've heard they give answers RE: Lots of BP questions- especially to non-BP people. Also about any MI they know about. Also as a potential support site, I know some people think they're really a Godsend. I''ll check it out. - suzie
  3. You've been diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder yourself along with the current MDD and severe OCD diagnoses you have now. It doesn't sound like you have "less severe" illness. I'm not really sure what the last part of this quote means. What isn't true? No, but you should understand from your experience that expecting someone to recover on some timeline is ridiculous, and getting angry at them for not doing so is pretty crappy. I'm not angry. I'm worn out. If i didn't care about this person I wouldn't even be asking for advice. Hell - I know nothing about BP. Yeah, I took Depakote for a year (and Lithium), but that doesn't mean squat. I never got a very clear explanation why, and wasn't hospitalized for it. I've never had mania. If I knew answers like this, I would not be here at all. Most of the time I read here, or ask questions, it's because I don't know something. IMO, you can have years and years of MI experience - if you were in mostly shitty hospitals, with crappy doctors, and mis-diagnosed time and again; it doesn't necessarily follow that you really have any handle on anything - especially if you're only 18-20 years old when it happens - I didn't ask any questions - I was too damn scared to do it, back then. Except whatever your real diagnosis is when you do get one, and have a good doctor along with it, maybe you ask more. That's my perspective. No disrespect intended. This was a big misunderstanding. There is also other stuff going on. Besides worrying about the person in question I just found out the volunteer organization I've been working for for 3 years has a head honcho who is stealing funds. And I don't know what to do about that, either. I really can't do anything; as I am an organizational peon there - but I can quit (and am seriously considering it.). There are 2 ir 3 situations it seems I am in, where I keep trying to find answers, and their just aren't any. Maybe I am weirding out, I don't know. But I DO care what happens to my friend. Let there be no mistake about that. Sure she sometimes can be a pain. But she hasn't got anybody else. I am not wakling away from her - even IF she's a pain. And right now if she is a pain - it's not her fault. I don't think anyone is taking umbrage at you not knowing how bipolar psychosis works, but at your really poor attitude. Maybe need a support group for all of this. Probably didn't phrase the question well. I wondered if there was a reason why she wasn't showing progress, when before, in similar situations she had. I wasn't insisting she do that - no matter how it sounded. I'm plain worried about her. Last time, her Zyprexa worked in a matter of days. Really. Her doctor is apparently incommunicado, because he doesn't call me back. I already know I don't control her 'Get well time-line'. I asked if I should expect one. If was on the MDD board, it would be different. I don't know much about how people in the throes of mania get well, or stay sick, or get sicker, or any of that. I really don't. I don't have it - don't think I ever did (regardless of any "diagnosis" I had ) - and haven't read much about it. All I know is whatever BP people write here, really, on the BP board. And, you know, none of this may be your fault. It's really hard when you're ill to care for someone who is also seriously ill. Just taking into account your behavior here over the past 5 days or so, you're in no position to try to care for someone else-- you seem very labile, sensitive, paranoid and irritable. Maybe you need to let others care for your friend. Sorry. I sort of missed this part. You were tying to help. I appreciate that. It's obvious to me I need to take a nap and get away from thinking about all of this _hit that's happening. I have no idea how this will all end up. But I don't control that, I guess. Sorry if I sounded angry. It guarantee it was not personal - no matter how it may have sounded. That goes for everyone who answered. Thanks for tyring to help. - suzie
  4. I am done with this thread. I am done asking questions. It's futile. -suzie
  5. You just said more than once you're frustrated/pissed off at her. That's not an intellectual pursuit. And... I think you're showing some lack of insight here when you say you are completely baffled by this whole thing. If you've been hospitalized six times, you've been more like she is right now that you're willing to admit. It seems like you're putting this artificial barrier that somehow BP and psychosis are worse and harder to understand than MDD and OCD. That's just not the case. Maybe, with your own illness to deal with, you're not the person to be dealing with her crisis day after day. You seem to be more angry and frustrated than anything, and that doesn't help you or your friend. I am concerned. If I didn't care, I wouldn't bother to try to find out an answer. I asked a question. That's all. I'm one of the few people who gives a damn about her, in this situation. Irritated or not. I still asked for information. Which would have been more helpful. If some people don't want to answer a question - a very specific question - that's cool. Good to know. Re: Hospitals.Since I was hospitalized in the late 1970's (when they hospitlaized people for much less severe illness than they do now, that's a leap to make to conclude. It also isn't true. Someone w/OCD or MDD auto-understands someone w/BP; Why? Well - just because "they should know." I have completely unrelated illnesses but I should know about BP treatment - because " I just should." No need to ask questions then. So - I should just CAN the questions. Don't ask; don't tell. Got it. No more questions. No curiosity. Even if I have a genuine need for info. Because apparently " I should know that already"? Why would that be true? This has been a very insightful, thread. Mostly it's: 1) Answered my original question - which was my only goal (which may or may not have been clear. Because I doubted this - I tried to made it clear. Twice.) Next time I need information -or have a question...maybe I'll just ask the question. With no background info - which of course people will want to know anyway. But It's useless...to ask quesitons, in any way you ask them. No matter which way you do it.That much I do now know. So - no more question-asking from me. This was a valuable learning experience. I'm closing my own thread. Anyone else wants to comment - you can talk to eachother. -suzie
  6. It can sometimes be rough, I imagine, being a man. It can be tough sometimes, being a woman. I had "too much" testosterone in my late teens-early twenties, and it made my face break out. A lot. It sucked. I couldn't take "the pill" after age 35, because it almost made me batshit insane. So....I guess there Can be "too much of a good thing" as far as hormones, Eh? Med side effects? For me: Mostly too-sleepy-like. For other people: Dunno. - suzie
  7. This post here just started, and I don' know why; it just seemed to pop up blank, and wouldn't cancel. t don't have anything to write. I just can't cancel it. Apparently I have to write something first? Maybe then I can cancel it. If not, just ignore this post. Sorry. -suzie
  8. From BPLadybug: "It is problamatic if a person is older, lives alone, and still becomes ill from psychosis. That is obviously much less than ideal. They could be psychotic and break a hip or have a stroke, or another physical health issue. God.....not good. No one around to inquire about medication or seeing their doctor. After she is discharged and has some good days/weeks I would talk with her about it. Hopefully she won't be totally defensive." I am actually pretty concerned about this. Because she's older, and lives alone in this big old house (which seems to need constant maintenence, btw.) Several of her friends (me included) are trying to decide how to broach the topic with her re: What we should do for her, if this happens again. Because she can be getting worse, and even people who see her once a week she can sometimes hide it from, successfully. She's paying off mucho bills from the last time this happened. And am sure she feels regretful. Doesn't mean it won't happen again. Ditto for flying off to a different city for an event that was not occurring - but that she was convinced was happening (what she tried to do this time. Nobody knew she was doing this, until she had almost boarded the plane. Even then, it was pure luck somebody did find out, and stopped her.) Also, she sometimes fibs about how well she's feeling. The day she was hospitalized, (right before) she told me she was "feeling fine." Either that or she was so sick, she had no idea she was sick (like I said I am unfamilar w/BP.) She has no legal guardian. Her relatives are all dead, save one elderly (82) aunt, who has a host of her own health issues. Hmmm. When we ask her, she always says "I'm fine." She does not want to sell her house. IMO, a nice condo would probably work better, but it's her decision. Not sure what we're going to say to her. One gal friend of hers is a lawyer - she's already said (to us) she has to decide to assign a guardian for herself. Or not. Nobody can put her in a hospital unless she's a "clear danger to herself or others." Those are debatable, loaded words. And I have no idea what they mean, really. She did agree to go this time. Not happy about it, almost didn't. But on some level realized she needed to go. Hope she always does. Hope someone is there to help. I don't see how this is possible when she lives alone. -suzie
  9. Thanks for the information, dedoubt. Good and interesting to know. Actually, she told me that. Guess it's not true (about Lithium.) I would have researched it, but I figured she knew. She says she's BP, so I took her word for it. She could have been mis-informed (or lying.) She can also tend to rely on medical "facts" that are decades old, in some cases (depends on the topic.) She said: "Unfortunately, I'm one of the very few people who cannot take Lithium." Glad to get correct information, though. -suzie
  10. they say zyprexa can work in 24-48 hours. But my reaction to my dose wore off after a year. I was on 20mg zyprexa when I saw a life sized cartoon character run across my backyard. Haldol calmed me down right away once, but not so much the next time. One thing about mental conditions is different for each person, and for each mood episode.Thanks for this information. I appreciate it. Maybe her meds just pooped out. She's been on Zyprexa like, forever. What you experienced (the cartoon guy) sounds scarier than _hit. Sorry it happens.
  11. Suzie, there are no answers to these questions. Mentall illness and treatment is so variable. And you must have noticed from reading on CB forum that people have remarkably different reactions to treatment. Yeah. The situation is fishy for another reason. And I know this is going to make me sound waaay paranoid - BUT I am totally in touch with reality. I hesitate to even say this. But - this hospital is in a "financial crisis". And so - I was starting to think. Hmm. The longer people are "sick" there, then the longer this hospital can charge Medicare. Obviously, I don't have a lot of faith in some hospitals. And I know that's way, way paranoid. Then again - a teensy but of paranoia doesn't really hurt, in some situations, IMO. Hell - even if it's true, what could I do about it? Nothing. It's crazy to contemplate. Actually, though, I wish she was not at this place, There are other places in town that are better, IMO. She is probably just really, really sick. - suzie
  12. God, I am glad that there isn't a set schedule for my brain to get itself together after I fall apart, because that would really stress me out. One time when I was hospitalized for psychosis, I was feeling pretty well a few months after I got out of the hospital. This time, I'm still barely making it day by day, I've been out for almost five months and I wasn't psychotic when I went in. So yeah, no timeline will fit anyone, ever. And knowing the label the doctors may have put on your friend wouldn't change how you respond to her, right? It's just a word. Whether she has bipolar or schizoaffective disorder, you will still be compassionate and loving to her, which is what she needs. Usually, an increased dose of Zyprexa has at least calmed her down after a few days. Not this time. I know you can't answer why - I am just wondering if the time-lines for people (you) showing improvement have ever changed over the course of their illness- when you're in a crisis; maybe I should have been more specific. So that's the real question. I think there might be general ideas about it (like using medication X allows many patients to show improvement after X number of days) on the Internet, maybe. I want a general idea. It's an intellectual pursuit, not a judgmental one. I hope you continue to feel a bit better every day. - suzie
  13. I was asking if anyone had similar experiences. Also - for whomever finds it strange: YES some MI people DO in fact, piss me off. Why that would seem strange, or irreverent I'm not sure. But they do. Not all of them, but this one for sure, some of the time. I care about family members who ALSO piss me off. I still care what happens to them. And I care enough in this case, about her, to want to do something positive to help her. I'll go look up the answer on the Internet - I can maybe find out there. I said in my post I had zero experience with this illness - which is why I was asking about it. Thanks for your input . I can find the answer out. I'm pretty resourceful when I have to be. Her doctor I've been having a real hard time getting hold of. Thanks anyway. I appreciate what you did say. - suzie
  14. We can't diagnose anyone. I am not asking for a diagnosis - Here's the question: Has anyone here had had their "norm" change as far as length of time they spend in a crises w/BP, when they change meds? I do realize everyone is different. I'd still appreciate answers. Not anyone on the site, certainly not anyone who is third-party. It's just not feasible. Second, you are pretty much doing exactly what pisses me right the fuck off about all the people who DON'T experience MI, and I would think you'd have just a little more understanding than you do now. I don't have this kind of MI. If I did I wouldn't be asking.*YES, she is sick, and I am pretty frustrated with it. I'm human. I have family members who drive me batshit. I still care about them. I also said that I know nothing about time-lines for getting well in a crisis w/this particular illness. It's the title of the question. Why I asked the question. I am talking particularly about BP or Schizo-affective. Not MI generally. Your friend is sick. When someone gets sick, there is no schedule, no script. Particularly when that sickness is in the head. Some people spend a weekend in the hospital, some people spend a month. Some people take one medication, some take seven [or more]. We are all unique individuals and YOU seem impatient and lacking some understanding. What can you do about it? Be patient. Be supportive. Don't make assumptions about what she may or may not have based on symptoms that you think she may be experiencing. If I was assuming anything - would I bother asking for an answer? You aren't her doctor. Don't play like you are. It would be a disservice. Getting this information has been helpful. I know exactly what to do. Getting information about a medical crisis is what I come here for. I am glad I cleared some of this up. - suzie
  15. This older (67) gal I've know for years is in the psych hospital right now. She had a melt-down late last week and was completley psychotic when she checked in. I'm a bit concerned, because she doesn't appear to be getting any better. I've talked to her on the phone the past few days, and she is still very paranoid. *She thinks her neighbor is starving her cats (her neighbor is feeding them while she's gone, and wouldn't do any any such thing, I know her.) *She thinks that the people who come to visit her are talking about her behind her back - saying very derogatory things about her; many of these people she doesn't know that well at all (they are acquaintances from her women's group.) I really, truly doubt this is happening - and in at least 2 cases, am sure they're not. *She thinks her elderly aunt is deliberately sabotaging her hospital stay, by telling her doctor lies about her (her aunt is in poor health, and has enough trouble taking care of herself. She'd never do this; she's done nothing but be helpful in this situation) And the list goes on, re: Perceptions that are very inaccurate or paranoid on her part. And this was just today. But she's been like this all week. Before this, she was fairly stable for years on end, with a crises or two in-between, of maybe 2 weeks. But she was always noticeably better in a few days, once she got on better meds. Not this time, and I don't know why. *She absolutely insisted I'd sent her a Get Well card with a butterfly painted on it - I didn't (someone else maybe did) - and she just did not believe me. She said: "Oh Suzanne, I think you know you did !." I changed the topic, and asked how the food was there. I thought this gal was Bipolar (that's what she always told me), but maybe she is Schizo-affective; (she's more floridly psychotic than I'd been led to believe she ever got.) I'm not sure, really. In any case, I was under the impression she'd have made more progress than this by now - she's been there a full week. If anything, she appears to be worse. Is this normal? Should she not have made any progress after a week? Even a little? I know nothing about stabilzing in any kind of BP or Schizo-affective crisis, so I'm inquiring. What should/can I do about it, if anything? I'd appreciate any feed-back from people w/BP or people w/ Schizo-affective who have been hsopitalized (or anyone else who might know.) ALSO: Does this sound more like Bipolar, or Schizo-affective behavior to you? Would someone w/Bipolar only act this way? Just wondering... Thanks. -suzie
  16. Like I just woke up, and can't remember what day it is (even though I've been awake all day.) P.S. - Hang in there, Cetkat. -suzie
  17. I didn't know that, either (sorry.) - suzie
  18. Ditto what CetKat said. VE will probably give you a different password. The same thing happened to me. -suzie
  19. OMG, Cetkat. That is so unfair, and also so sad. I can't believe they did that. Feel free to ignore this post, and it might have a "border-line" quality to it, but - To Hell with them, then. You are a reallly neat gal, and can make a good life for yourself, with or without them. IMO, they are terrible to do this. Easy to say, hard to do... Months from now, when they get a hankering to see you, for whatever reason - which WILL happen (I've seen this kind of scenario) - I'd just ignore them. At least realize it's an option. The ball is in their court, IMO. Meaning, I'd leave the door open, but they're the ones who have to walk through it. I just don't picture you as the kind of daughter who creates hell for their parents - I don't understand why they're doing this. A few years from now, your life will be completely different (better!) than it is now, hard as that may be to believe right now. Crystal, sick or not, has some liability here, IMO. There is a big difference between being sick and being nasty, IMO; she really crossed a line. What your parents are doing is truly messed up. Too bad they've lost a person who could really have added something extremely positive to their lives. It's definitely their loss. I can imagine this must really hurt. Just remember, they've got real, definite problems; not you. They also have the added burden of believing they are just fine, thank you. But they're not. P.S. I know how hard it can be to pull away from unsupportive family members; my family and I (during my twenties) had a sort-of co-dependent relationship-thing going on, where they claimed to hate me, but still needed me around to semi-emotionally abuse. It was definitely dsyfunctional. We later grew out of it - but it was only because ALL parties cooperated in the effort. IMO, if they are not going to try to meet you half-way, you owe them little, or nothing. Maybe this isn't the same - I know everyone has a different life. But it sounds a lot like what I went through w/my family. In any case, I know it hurts. Try to hang in there. - suzie
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