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countingstars

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  1. akathisia is the worst feeling I have ever get, I tried to keep calm and not act out in hospital because I want to be out so bad. I suppose walking around like a mad mouse in hospital only makes me stay even longer... It is like the song 'jailbreak' from awolnation. I also found Vitamin B6 might be helpful for akathisia. I have not tried it yet. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15554771 Also, I do have ativan, xanax and clonazepam in hand, I rarely take those but when I am really manic, those does not even work... I will try ask for Haldol. I have not had an episode for
  2. I live in California most of times. I consider my voice as my friend...I don't know how to live without it at this point. The best I can describe my relationship with voice is like Stockholm syndrome... that's a lot of great advice about meds! I am definitely saving it for any new symptoms. A lot of new things to study! Invega 3mg is currently working for me. I am back on my normal weight, and feel ok during the day. If I don't tell, people can't tell I have Sz. I also agreed with my doctor that if I have another episode, I will go back on invega injection and probably a cocktail
  3. I have exactly the same thing going on with me. zombies, ghosts, aliens... When I was younger, I watched a lot of 'walking dead' for fun, and wasn't scared of it at all. After having Sz, I gets so scared by just thinking about it. I deeply regret watching it. I have to sleep with lights on. For a while going out at night is impossible for me.
  4. It was schizophrenia and bipolar to begin with. In the last three hospitalization it changed to schizophrenia only. The doctor also stopped lithium(as it is for bipolar.).
  5. hi mikl_pls, here is a list of my meds past meds: Prozac-tried as a teenage, I can focus on school with it at the time but I can't feel I love or care about anyone or anything. No sadness, no happiness. Zyprexa- prescribed after first episode. weight gain(from 120lb to 145lb in a month), Restless.(have to walk around none stop for more than 12 hours a day!) Abilify- loose some weight, does not control my symptom, I would talk to myself uncontrollable in front of the people. I would feel the conversation does make sense, but for others its like word salad. Invega
  6. I have a lot of nightmares, sometimes I am not even myself. I can never tell when I was dreaming, it always feels real to me. I was psychotic in my dreams, I know it but I can't control my behavior in the dream. It happens a lot. I tend to not think about the dreams, so after several days, I would forget about it, but there will always be new scary dreams...
  7. thank you so much. I try to be with son as much as possible. When I am not well, I tries to sleep in the living room, so I make sure my son is not in a bad situation with my mom. As long I can see, my son is pretty happy and social. My mom does not seems to treat my son the same way she treat me. I was very worried about it too. I am not sure what will happen when my son grow older, but I am cautious about it. I learn to play 'high five' to my son, to see if he is scared or not, he always happily 'high five' me back. I think he is ok so far. Sometimes my mom will yell at him, but he
  8. For financial reason, I live with my parents. I have to quit college because I have schizophrenia. There is always insanity going on that makes me become so sad and hopeless. There is so many confusing and mistreatment. My mom used to beat me as a child for at least 3 times a week for more than 20 minutes per time. With a lot of swearing and curse. I don't even know if she is my real mom. I once ask them if I am adopted. They instantly tell me that, I am having an 'episode'. I tried to ask her for an apology, she simply denied it and tells me that she did not do
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