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Toas

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About Toas

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  1. Researchers at UNIST in Korea are able to perform tests on mutated, PLCĪ³1 deficient animal models of BD. En Todas! -Toas
  2. This is awesome! While the information provided by the videos has been around for a couple years (don't know the release date of these videos or quite remember the sources of the research). Raising awareness is essential. Kudos Korea! En Todas! -Toas
  3. Minutes fade to days, weeks fade to months. Everything seems a blur. The concept of 'yesterday' seems to encompass a great deal of time. Been in a pretty low wave pattern for a hot minute. Memory loss, torpor, ideations. Now spiced up with infrequent but odd giddiness, and desperate motivation, which I hope means it is nearly over. Sometimes when I am experiencing... very ... negative thoughts... I just think... "Wow! You guys are all so polite and mild mannered these days! Waiting your turn and never yelling. Let's all just take a moment and relax. We've been through quite a lot lately and we could all use a breather." Meditation of sorts. Not always possible, but.. ahhh... During mania I feel like that squirrel from over the hedge. Lol Also neurotransmitters directly effect your internal time clock. Think acute stress response. En Todas! -Toas
  4. My rage, and obsession are products of my symptoms. BD is neurodegenerative and genetic. Mood episodes are caused by environmental factors and neural chemistry. BD is experienced differently by everyone. Possible your husband is fortunate. As acting on hypersexual urges can ruin relationships. Mixed states are... unpleasant. Politely speaking. En Todas -Toas
  5. What kind of job do you enjoy? I really enjoyed working in security for quite a while. Always time to socialize, adaptive to both low and high energy states. Always new situations to manage. Need space? Do a perimeter check, or pretend to read important stuff. Need to keep busy? Create a new filing system, or help someone out with whatever they're doing or forgot to do. In a sucky job right now and brainstorming. Also interested in what everyone else likes to do and why. En Todas! -Toas
  6. From my personal experiences, empathy relates directly to hypervigilance associated with mania, and torpor associated with depression. In addition there is conscious, subconscious and neurological, intent and or capacity to empathize. For me I imagine a dial or volume knob like on a car stereo. That clicks when you turn it. Kinda helped a lot when it worked, but at times out of control; in or out of episodes. On-off switch like you said. C'est la vie. Look into mirror neurons. Very cool. Also psychological projection may be relevant. En todas! -Toas
  7. Also quite interesting. Dr. Roger McIntyre: Mood Disorders and Metabolic-Inflammatory Comorbidity
  8. If you are in for a read, and a bit of cross referencing, I think this is rather insightful. Understanding a little bit more. Hippocampal neurochemical markers in bipolar disorder patients following the first-manic episode: A prospective 12-month proton magnetic resonance spectroscopy study Ya got to read the whole thing not just the overview. Lol. Also, the related articles look like gold. Thank's science! Thoughts? -Toas
  9. For me, my diet has had a prominent effect on provoking an episode. When I am well, I generally consume a large amount of, dairy 4+ servings a day depending on my protein goal, eggs, mushrooms and fish. All containing high levels of vitamin D and other good stuff. Have been putting a lot of research into my diet the last couple days. I ask why was that good for me? Oh... Typical "western" diet is pretty much all bad for my health.
  10. Thank's Melissaw, I am still very proud of that garden. That's only part of it too, there was another vegetable garden on the other side of the house, a flower garden, and cannabis garden. Started only with dirt and fences. Had plans and designs, including cost estimates and labor, for a gazebo with an attached herb garden and outdoor kitchen, chicken coop, yoga dojo, two acre organic farm, bamboo garden, orchard, terraces... I didn't physically destroy the whole garden. Only some, and I "needed" to. I did destroy the relationship that made it possible. I wrote this during that time. Busses and motels, state after state. I feel it is relevant. "It has been many miles since the green hills of Sparta shadows of valleys lie in our wake visions of cities as they fall upon us haunted by the souls of the lives we will take"
  11. Heh... Gardens. It's a shame I destroy everything beautiful that I create.
  12. An abrupt change in brain chemistry (sex, diet, drugs, etc.) disrupts functional stress, anxiety, emotional, and cognitive, control mechanisms; provokeing factors that may contribute to an episode or episodes. The factors, and quantity of factors I provoke seem to determine the type and intensity of my episodes. Staying hydrated helps a lot! All the best Dragonfly. -Toas
  13. Thank you Melissaw and Gearhead for your responses, and the warm welcome. My hanai mother advised me to find a support group so, here I am. I will seek a local group I can attend in the near future. I have been diagnosed. Well over a decade ago. I was 14 or so, give or take. Before being diagnosed with bipolar, I had been misdiagnosed with depression and adhd. I had taken medication for both adhd and depression. Not a good time. I have not taken medication for my bipolar. It is and always has been terrifying to see my mother struggle so hard while adjusting, switching, and experimenting with medications. I fear I will have a similar experience. I do not view her or my own experiences with medication as stable. She is doing alright now but it never seems to last for long. I know I should speak with a medical professional, and I will, but I want to have an understanding of what to expect, and to have an idea of what I want. This is my first step in the right direction. I have experienced MDE's before, and they are mearly uncomfortable times compared to my full mania. I can cope until I become psychotic. I have always exhibited visual signs and have a strong support group of friends I communicate with. When I start to lose control of the 'volume dial' , they can see it and they tell me. Heh... all before me "remembering" and putting a name to what I have been going through. I feel that I would be more than capable of checking myself in. Maybe even eager. I got way, way out there for a second man... It is curious that my mind could possibly erode trails that would become easier and easier to slip into. Do you have any information you could lead me to along those lines? I have read a little into amino acids and how NAA will deplete after you go through this sort of thing, also read a bit into psychophysics and I know quite a bit about nutrition and health. Appreciate it Gearhead. Thank you both for your input so far! One of my friends who I respect the most disclosed his diagnos of bipolar type one last week when I told him what I was going through. I'm going to visit with him now. Also, has anyone had positive experiences with public health programs? I have gone from moderately wealthy to very much in debt after certain events. Whoda thunk? Lol, also lots of love. -Toas
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