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About HydroCat

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    Halfway between the gutter and the stars

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  1. Hmmm... I can totally relate. For a long time I couldn't make any decision, let alone be satisfied with the end result. I thought it was because of depression, because it causes indifference. My pdoc said that it is the OCD... well... idk
  2. Was on Sertraline (300mg max), then Fluoxetine (80mg). Then Sertraline 50mg+Wellbutrin 300mg. Then Fluoxetine 20mg+Wellbutrin 300mg. Liked them both. Fluoxetine was a little bit more “stable” but they both are great, Escitalopram was bad, sort of worsened my depression. No experience with the others.
  3. First time Wellbutrin alone. 150mg gave a mild energy boost that worn off quickly. 300mg was better, until it was too energizing (increased anxiety). Second time around, Wellbutrin 300mg+Prozac 20mg. Really good so far (6 months give or take). For the record, this combination worked better than 80mg Prozac I used to take some time ago. Side note: I am the depressed/no energy/no motivation type, so an energizing NDRI is really what I needed. Only side effect: I feel hot most of the time, even when the environment is not so.
  4. 200mg Lamictal was good for my depression. When I dropped Abilify I had to up Lamictal to 400mg to get the same effect. Great again. I do still take it along with Wellbutrin 300mg and Prozac 20mg. I'm with @mikl_pls about Remeron except that it didn't increase my appetite... it gave me depersonalization instead, which is really scary. I am generally open to (re)trying meds but I'm *never* touching this one again.
  5. Recently my pdoc increased my Lamictal from 200 to 300. He said that it does matter if I split the dose or not, or if I take in at AM or PM, as long as the doses are far apart as they should be, i.e a day. Don't worry :)
  6. Sounds really difficult. Some of my intrusive thoughts are about hurting people I love. Remember that these are “intrusive thoughts” which are unwanted images, things you wouldn't even consider acting upon. The thoughts make you feel uncomfortable because they are about things you would't want to imagine yourself doing, rather than a secret urge to do whatever. I can't talk about the actual violent part because I took it to the other extreme end - I can't feel angry, no matter what. Possibly it is a result of the fear of being violent, because of these thoughts.
  7. I thought I was the only one! Every time before I get into a pool I look from the outside to find where the drains are... and also where the jets are, so I don't accidentally step on them or go near them. This is oddly specific but it seems to have something to do with water pipes. Jacuzzis freak me out.
  8. This is the eternal question of brand vs. generic meds. Generally, a pill contains more substances than the active molecule that don't have to be the same between manufacturers and they may cause a slightly different effect. As for Concerta, it is an extended release formulation of Methylphenidate, like Ritalin LA, it releases the active substance in a few doses over time. All of these factors make a difference in effect. Is the generic version an extended release as well?
  9. There is St. John's Wort, which is a flower that is not regulated afaik. It contains active substances that have antidepressant effect. Be careful though as it does not mix well with many drugs. “Kava Kava” root contains Kavain, a natural substance that also has GABAergic activity and should be calming too. Haven't tried any of these. They are available as food additives in capsule/tablet form.
  10. There are many calming meds out there, like @argh mentioned but they are not over-the-counter drugs. But then, neither is Ativan.
  11. Update: Feeling more alive without Abilify. Problems remain anxiety and mood swings. My pdoc said that I can do without APs unless my obsessions get out of control, which is not the case right now. For the mood swings he increased my Lamictal (200->300. Possibly 400). I'm closer to “normal” than I've been for quite a long time.
  12. I switched from Risperidone to Abilify because of high cholesterol. Turned out it was not the cause. Tried switching back with bad side effects. Changed too quickly probably. It seems that I don't have many options for AAPs. My pdoc and I will have to be creative here.
  13. Thanks everyone. Many of the newer antipsychotics (Latuda, Vraylar and Rexulti) are not available here yet... as much as I know at least. I Will ask though. @echolocation I think you're right and it is the lack of Abilify rather than withdrawal. @~nestling~ Yep, more motivation and sadness... Good luck with Olanzapine, keep updating. Scary, but maybe when Abilify is out of my system completely I will be able to try Risperidone once again.
  14. I am on Abilify for quite a long time as an add-on to antidepressants. Lately I started feeling flat again, my memory is so-so for some time already and tics came back anyway so I decided to stop taking Abilify. Couldn't talk to my pdoc at the time (appointment next week). Probably a stupid decision. A few days went by. Cognitively I am better without it. Now I'm totally depressed, feel like crying all the time, mood goes up and down in unpredictable patterns. The “up” is still below normal though. Is this Abilify withdrawal? Or just a proof that I do need an AAP...? or that my other meds are not working. Which AAP is good for depression without affecting memory or cause flatness? Not sure why I am posting this or what I am looking for really. Weird feelings. Kind of miss Risperidone now. Better not being able to wake up in the morning than not wanting to wake up.
  15. Probably not worth that much but anyway... I was given it a very long time ago for delayed sleep phase syndrome (DSPS) misdiagnosis. It didn't really help me sleep as far as I can recall. It did make me extremely tired at around 9 PM. Went to sleep at 12 AM. Woke up fully energized at 3 AM. Kind of a weird experience. Just a disclaimer: At that time I was very anxious, depressed and yet-to-be-diagnosed/medicated for OCD. The effects were gone the moment I stopped taking it so I guess there's no harm in trying.
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