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  1. i do this too. i would say i'm obsessed with at least one person at any given time and have been that way since 5th grade. it really sucks. as with anything else i would try to keep your mind occupied on other things as best as you can and try to avoid things that remind you of them.
  2. thanks for asking, i just got done with my 2nd appt with my new therapist and have my psych appointment coming up. been feeling quite depressed this past week but i'm doing my best to get some exercise and use my light box and take my meds every day. i might try to change meds if i can't get out of this funk.
  3. hello i know it's been a few weeks but here's my update as the weeks passed, i was becoming depressed and i kept piling on caffeine and alcohol and depriving myself of sleep trying to kick myself into hypomania... stupid and ineffective as i of course know, but 'it seemed like a good idea at the time' etc. i eventually came to a point in time that i was so overwhelmed by worries and negative thoughts that i drank with plans of enacting a suicide attempt until i passed out on the street for about three hours and was taken into the hospital hypothermic. and i woke up at 8 AM and was quickly discharged and tried to go to work but was stopped by my roommates and talked into admitting myself. i was in the psych ward for a week and i'm back on medication and have appointments for outpatient care. i'm feeling a lot better but the zoloft is causing me to feel pretty loopy right now. my loved ones are keeping a close eye on my behavior and in touch with my case manager. in other words i probably should have gone in back when i posted this and i could have avoided this mess, but i guess i was not in a very rational state or perhaps worried about the consequences of admitting myself while i work a full time job. in the end it made no difference.
  4. a few people have commented on my strange behavior. i feel like everyone knows something i don't. i'm not sure what's going on and i feel alone and afraid.
  5. i am feeling depressed for the first time in a long time and have been going back and forth having bursts of agitated energy and sleeping for days straight. i feel horrible and extremely foggy. i want this to be over.
  6. i moved to philadelphia about 6 months ago and in that time i haven't had access to psychiatric care i was on my meds and felt like i was doing pretty well but looking back i was acting a little wonky and as the summer wore on i lost my access to meds, but i felt like i was getting loads of art done and advancing in my career and i felt amazing about my new life so i guess i just thought i was cured or something stupid, and that this whole mental illness business was some sort of big misunderstanding. it takes up to 4 months to even get an outpatient intake appointment somewhere here. i could have gone to the normal doctor and asked for my meds once i got reestablished on insurance but such is the nature of hypomania i suppose. now i feel that more than just the medication is important and i really desire attention from a psychiatrist and/or therapist. i got very depressed over some boy i was obsessed with for over a week and threw a huge fit and felt extremely suicidal (a boy i don't even know, i might add). my best friends who i live with are insisting i go to a clinic for 48 hours so i can be fast-tracked in my outpatient care, but after this big discussion, i woke up yesterday morning feeling amazing and didn't sleep all last night, i'm chattering to myself and laughing like a fool. i went walking around in the freezing snow and wind for hours this morning and spent $60 on groceries i hardly even looked at with no planning. the change was so abrupt it has caught me by surprise, but i now am floundering about going to the clinic even though i probably could use it even more now before i do something stupid... i guess i just answered my own question.
  7. - tinder, tinder, tinder. slept with like 20 guys with 20 crazy issues of their own in the space of a couple months. - had totally consuming, obsessive, nonsensical crushes on people i didn't know at all and done any number of ridiculous things to get their attention. - became involved with another, more severely bipolar person who was inappropriately young for me - became obsessed with raw veganism, so obsessed. - became obsessed with cacti and tried to grow 50 of them in a fishtank for mescaline - quit my job and moved to arizona in the space of a few days (unrelated to the cacti episode, but i did end up leaving my cacti there where they live happily) and left a house full of abandoned things - flipped out on some boy and left an embarrassing letter on his porch. - wrote and drew a comic book in one week. it's actually pretty good, but it probably could have been much better. there were many more that i planned on making. - staying up all night and making my family an elaborate vegan breakfast and becoming very upset by the fact that they took "forever" to wake up by like 8:30 and didn't seem to care that much about my vegan breakfast (none of them are vegan). - listened to the bible on audiobook for 7 hours straight.
  8. i am completely afunctional without meds. suicidal and unable to function in adult life in one way or another, and generally act like an asshole. i'm also exponentially more creative ON them. i either can't focus on one thing long enough to finish anything, or am to depressed to even think. one day maybe i'll be able to decrease, but i owe my life and everything good in it to being on medication.
  9. for me, lamictal has helped a lot with anxiety, but the AD alone makes it much worse
  10. those are good ideas for self care, it's always hard to shake the anxiety of not being "productive enough" but those things are very important i'm coming from a rural area where consistent mental health care is rather difficult to access- the doctors and therapists i have seen have mostly been great but i haven't been able to see the same one twice or schedule regular appointments for therapy or counseling despite my best efforts.it takes up so much of each appointments to get through all the same details over and over that i typically can never get to anything too important. but fortunately i'm moving back to a city finally and i have friends who know their way around the mental health care there, so it should be at least easier than navigating it here. i agree! sitting around doing nothing makes one more lethargic and tired, yet you're sitting around doing nothing because you're already lethargic and tired to begin with... i always have to try really hard to remind myself of that when i'm feeling down haha...
  11. there's probably quite a lot of topics like this, but... i feel myself coming down from quite a spike in energy that looking back now was pretty hypomanic. since being on lamictal my swings aren't as long lasting or intense as they were on just zoloft, but they are still there. i think that i may have pushed myself a bit too much with working on art constantly and doing things with friends and working a lot and not sleeping. i remember a few mornings working on my art and thinking of all the things i'm doing right now and sort of having these weird panic attack like moments but feeling really happy and excited instead of anxious. for the past couple of days i haven't really been able to be around anyone and i feel quite fatigued and vaguely ill and have low motivation. i planned a last minute trip to Los Angeles in my hypomanic state and was in this funk by the time it started but still looking forward to it. i had a few hangups with transportation and totally called it off, and i just have this rush of relief to be able to lie in bed and not do anything. not to mention i've been having these awful monotonous dreams and a general sense of impending doom. the trouble is that i'm moving to a new state in one week and i'd really like to get things off to a good start, so i'd love if you could all share some tips for warding off falling into a really bad episode of depression.
  12. i know how you feel. i am bp2 but i start acting like a loon under sustained stress. i am making a big move soon and very worried of being thrusted back into that state of mind. to make it worse i basically got cut off the lamictal which was helping me very much.
  13. i am on lamictal and it helps so much but there was a snafu in my prescription and i've been out and it took me a week to figure out what happened and it's been making me feel horrible
  14. bp2 and when i'm hypomanic i have constant thoughts of stabbing myself
  15. at your age it's very normal. i'm 22 and have been getting my period since 13 (on and off, in the depth of my eating disorder) and my PMS used to be much different.
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