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About SoFuckingWhat

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  1. Wooster, thanks so much for that thoughtful response. You've given some very good, practical advice but I'm afraid I've heard them all before. Talking to a counslour is an issue itself because I can't talk to people, and I think you're underestimating what that means. Telling them that I'm suicidal would be a nightmare, because it's embarrassing, and my family would get involved and I wouldn't want them to know. I can only talk about my issue anonymously. You suggested to delay this suicide, but it's been delayed for 4 years. Don't think I can go much longer. You also stressed that there are many options besides death, but again... I think you're underestimating this situation or I didn't explain it good enough. I'm beyond the "wait, maybe this isn't a good idea" stage. My sucicide method is [edited to remove specific means] and it's very rare that it fails. Plenty of research and construction for the materials have been completed. Im sorry to have shut down everything you said, I mean no disrespect at all. Honestly, I really appreciate the insight you put in. But rather than giving me other options, giving me your opinion on life-after-death would be more useful! My apologies again if I'm coming off as rude.
  2. Alright, let's do this. Long story short, I had an amazing childhood, plenty of friends, loving family, I was outgoing, life was just awesome. Fast forward to middle school (8th grade), I suddenly become shy out of o where. Lost friends, became a loner, got teased/bullied daily. Same shit happened in high school, except it was worse. I thought things would be better once I got into college, and guess the fuck what? It has never been this bad. Frankly, I don't understand why I'm picked on. I think it's bc I'm so quiet/shy and people take advantage of that. Any fucking ways. I'm sick of it, and I'm ready to bounce. So, basically I've developed depression, aniexiy, horrible social skills, and blah blah blah. I don't wanna bore you. You get the picture though. I've done lots of research and I found a painless, peaceful way to die. I could do it anytime I want, BUT IM SO FUCKING SCARED. I'm terrfied of the after-life. I'm Christian, and I don't know if suicide is a forgivable sin. One day I was watching a horror movie, and a woman had acid poured on her face, and her flesh was burning and melting. And I thought...THAT COULD FUCKING BE ME IF I DID IT. I know, a fix to my worries is to endure a miserable life in order to avoid eternal torture, but I seriously can't. Some people might say, "omg shut up life is hard for everyone, suck it up". I couldn't care less about those people. You expect me to continue my misery because you're telling me that I should? Fuck outtaaaaaaa here. There are other factors/consequences for my actions, like hurting my family. I thought about it for nearly 4 years and I'm going to be selfish and do it anyways. All that crap people say about "it will get better" is not true. There's something else I'm not mentioning because I'm too embarased to say (the main reason for this suicide), but let's just say that I cannot have any social life or even a job because of it. I cannot be around people. I cannot make a living because a job requires an interview and co-workers. I'm barely getting through college, and my grades are struggling because I skip classes (since it's a huge room filled with 600+ people). I don't eat or go to the dinning halls bc again...people. I literally have nothing to live for. I don't mind the isolation, in fact, it's the only time I'm at peace. But I can't be isolated forever. I hope I'm making sense. Anyways. I need some thought about this. If you're reglious, do you think I will be forgiven? If you're not, do you think life after death is peaceful?
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