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SimplyLucy

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About SimplyLucy

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  1. Hey there! Thanks for your response. It's pretty hard to offend me anyway so don't sweat it :,) I don't feel comfortable at all talking to my mom about this because although she is a mental healthcare professional, she doesn't handle her own personal problems very well. I'm sadly only a senior in high school (16) and I'm unable to schedule my own doctors appointments with confidentiality. My original idea was to let this pass and it would go away by the time I graduate but as you can see that hasn't been going very well for me haha. Maybe I'll just wait until I'm 18 to get one without my mom knowing? I'm not sure, I just don't want anyone else to know more than anything Best to you xoxo
  2. Thanks for the response. I appreciate your concern. It's not that I need to be reminded, I tend to forget but that's not just something you don't notice. I guess in a way I just really don't want to. I don't force myself to throw up (other than one time when I ate seafood on accident) but I just get this feeling of sickness and shame after I eat something. I do however self harm to make myself to get that "baggage off of my chest" as you had put it. I'm not sure what it is exactly that upsets me or what "triggers" it, but I just find myself doing it. But enough about that. This in an ED page lol. Anyway, no I don't have a doctor because my mom is a mental health practices and says "you don't need a therapist! Just tell me if you have anything on your mind!" Besides, she has so many problems in her life already I feel like saying my problems would only add to her stress (considering she kicked my brother out when he threatened to commit suicide, it wouldn't be the smartest thing to do haha) Anyways thanks for the response, Cheers xoxo
  3. I know the title sounds a little silly but let me explain (buckle up this is going to be a long one) As a person that has struggled with heavy eating disorder tendencies for over 6 years now, you would think that I would have this all figured out by now... But that just isn't the case. It kinda just crept up on me when I was 10 and it never went away. I can't exactly pin how it started or why (otherwise it would be easier to treat it. Go figure) however, I never actively thought, "I want to skip meals and be thin". It just became a habit, one that I just can't break despite my best efforts. Its not that I don't want people to know because I dont want them to stop me, its mostly because I'm ashamed that my life has come to this. I am a very happy person that is friends with everyone and just wants the best for people. I just don't want this to change the way they see me. Such a strong and nice person being controlled by some thing so awful. Besides, there is a lot going on in my home life anyway and I dont want to add this on top of it all. I know a lot of people say that "biology eventually rules out" and "you're setting yourself up for a binge the more you don't eat" I wish it were like that for me. I don't even have to think about it and I end up not eating for at least 3 days to sometimes a week at a time. And the few times that I do eat I just end up throwing it up anyway. Everything just feels so dull and repetitive that I don't even notice. I actively try to eat. But I keep falling back into the same behavior I don't want to die but I don't want to keep living this way. What should I do?
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