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  1. I worry about this. I will hopefully be getting an assessment done in the next month or so and I worry about getting a false negative. I want to believe that the tests are accurate and sophisticated enough enough to give a correct result, but depression and decades of coping mechanisms muddy the waters, not to mention the stereotypes about ADHD.
  2. I run into some similar things with therapy. I think for me one of the difficulties is that I'm already a certain way along in the process, and I did all that work during a time when I didn't have access to therapy. So now that I'm working with a psychologist I am already doing a number of the things they would recommend. I'm getting some benefit from what I'm already doing, but it's hard for both of us to figure out what strategies might be able to build on that further. My tdoc and I handle this by using some of our time in sessions to talk about therapy such as how well certain approaches have worked so far and we try to gauge the potential in other approaches we could try.
  3. My mom has chronic physical illnesses and they were at their most severe when I was young. She says she feels guilty about being so limited, but it didn't matter to me. There were some things she couldn't do, so we did other things. From my experience growing up I think there are two things that matter far more than the rest: that they care, and that they accept who I am. I'm lucky to have great parents and that's what makes them great. I see the same themes with friends who have not-so-great parents that at least one of those things was lacking.
  4. A close friend of mine has BPD and the opinion of our friend group is that if he was an animal he would be a teddy bear. I had to encourage him for a while to get help, but it wasn't because he didn't want help. He had grown up with the message (like a lot of us do) that a person is supposed to deal with mental health problems by "pulling themselves up by the bootstraps" and he had kept working really hard trying to do it that way. Our conversations were about how he deserved to feel better and he deserved help.
  5. Tapering is very often the more comfortable way to discontinue a med. I'd say bupropion is pretty decent for discontinuation effects, but how long is it until your next doctor's appointment?
  6. My company also uses a bastardized version of agile that makes no sense. I wonder if many places actually use the real thing My town of ~50k has a cat cafe, but it's still fairly new and not yet clear how much staying power it will have
  7. I only had a little bit of sleep disruption when starting buproprion, but it did improve over time and went away in a couple weeks. I would suspect it would take longer if it was initially worse. I was quite weepy at the beginning, but that also went away (maybe a month or 2 for the weeping). I had headaches at 450mg, but they were really severe and I also had an increase in blood pressure, so I had to go back to 300mg. I also had a lot of dizziness discontinuing citalopram
  8. That's a good way to describe it. I didn't have quite the same thoughts about deserving it, but the emotional weight of the shame certainly adds to the urge to SH. I think the effort of hiding it does, too
  9. When I went from 300 to 450mg buproprion I had issues with headaches. My blood pressure also went up about 20 points at that dose (though the increase in blood pressure and the headaches did not start at the same time). I've had daily headaches at various other times. I think of it as something I'm prone to. In this case the timing seemed like the dose increase was the cause.
  10. This is something I think about, too. I've got an intermediate level job and it would be nice to progress in my career (for the usual reasons), but I'm avoiding it for the sake of stability. The only idea I thought of for your job hunt was that in the similar line as government jobs, in Canada university jobs tend to be slower paced and less pressure. Our university system seems to be a bit different than the States, though, so I don't know if that would be the case where you are.
  11. What you describe is a lot like my usual symptoms (anhedonia, no motivation, laying around all day, but not a lot of despair). My doctors and I have been considering it depression in partial remission, but also have been finding it quite puzzling and are now going to test for ADHD.
  12. I've been at 30 minutes/day for a month and here's what I've found: The effects have mostly been on my sleep. Before I was sleeping 9-10 hours/night and I found it really hard to wake up in the morning. With the light therapy I'm sleeping 7-8 hours and I frequently wake up before my alarm goes off. The effects increased over the first few days and I think I reached the maximum effectiveness for me within a week. I didn't see any significant change in mood.
  13. I'd say that if you think your best med option is your current combo then a GP is just as effective for refills. I switched to a psychiatrist because we were trying a bunch of different things and I expect to switch back to my GP once we settle on a combo. I think that therapy remains useful on an ongoing basis, but I agree that a fresh perspective might be helpful
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