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About sming

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    PDoc Confounder

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  1. Hi all, I'm a 20+ year sufferer of extremely TRD and am trying LSD (1P-LSD, more specifically) microdosing to help lift my mood and combat anhedonia. I'd love to know if anyone else has tried this. Specifically: what was your regimen? e.g. every 3 days?, dosage, substance, method did any initial beneficial effects increase over time? if so, over what kind of period? did you develop a tolerance? did it help with your anhedonia? did you try more than a microdose e.g. 1/4, 1/2 or even a whole tab? If so, how was that therapeutically? FTR, I'm taking 10ug (1/10th of a tab) every 3 days using the volumetric method. I felt notably more energetic and less severely depressed within an hour of dosing. This persisted for ~ 14 hours. I couldn't sleep. Now, the next day, I feel kind of back to normal (i.e. feel very depressed and anhedonic), which is very demoralising. Thanks, Pete
  2. For me there's only one of the hundred+ meds that I've tried that's a "go-to" (I am severely TRD), and that's BuSpar. It does really well in most cases for my OCD and anxiety and it doesn't poop-out, like literally everything else I've tried does. Just my 2d, YMMV.
  3. Jesus man, I was merely asking if there were any papers. Forget that I even asked ffs.
  4. Yes but that's not the same as a research paper or a trial. I'll try anyway. FTR this is the link to ForFivo 450mg XL : https://www.forfivoxl.com/ .
  5. Hi @notloki, I believe you but do you have any documentation/evidence of this? My PDoc is very by-the-books and will likely need convincing to try 450mg. Thanks.
  6. This is me. I call it "chemical exhaustion" since it's very distinct to being naturally exhausted. It's like gravity is 10x stronger and it's as if someone has somehow removed every single calorie of energy from my body. I can't sleep but am beyond exhausted. Hence @Lauliza, did you have any success with the options at hand? I'm in a terrible way with the fatigue and need some suggestions for my PDoc. FTR I'm on generic (Actavis) 300mg XL.
  7. Thanks @mikl_pls. I'd be cool with puking now and then if it meant 30% less suffering.
  8. no one? I'm really surprised. It's quite effective for TRD. Apparently responding well to ECT is a good indicator. Shame I didn't respond at all to ECT then...
  9. I couldn't find many informative or recent posts on this topic so wanted to ask myself. Anyone tried it? How did you fare on it? Thanks, Pete
  10. I think that's a very good point. I last was undepressed 23 excruciatingly-long years ago. I vaguely remember what it's like but if I suddenly became "Normal" e.g. after waking from a some new procedure, I'd have to pinch myself for several weeks and even then would be literally terrified whenever my mood dipped, because I'd fear a return of this life-destroying disease.
  11. I hear ya @Blahblah. I think you, @Unstrung Harp and I are all in a similar boat: Treatment-Resistant but Helped By Stimulants (TRbHbS). I was taking Concerta (long-acting Ritalin) before that totally pooped-out, then I switched to Adderall and got a good few months of "doing well" on it, before hitting where I'm at now, where I just fake it and suffer between doses. I have a job and 2 kids and am always wondering when you're supposed to be able to take one of these fabled breaks!!! I don't know about you guys but I find that workplaces and kids aren't terribly understanding about taking 2-3 days out because you're taking a med break. Not to mention the suffering that would occur on those days Whilst I remember, my current PDoc, who I like, had a good tidbit on Stimulants: the anti-depressant (or "mood elevating") effect poops out but the anti-ADD effect does not. Makes a lot of sense to me as that's what's happened for us. This afternoon I was literally staring at my screen not moving much for 2, excruciating hours, hoping no-one would notice. I couldn't think straight enough to put on a work-related video or anything, my brain fog & depression were that bad Pete
  12. I face the same questions all the time. My depression changes "texture" depending on what meds I'm on, it never goes away. Is depression with lots of SI but little other suffering much "worse" than depression with tons of suffering and no SI? I don't know and I'm not sure it's useful to know. Actually, one tool I use monthly is the Goldberg Depression Scale. This is not perfect by any means but at least it's mostly consistent (I give myself lower scores when filling it out when very depressed, for example) if you use it regularly. I hope this helps a bit. W.r.t. Adderall, I used to get 5 hours of relief from it and now I get 1-1.5 hours. So I have to live my life in these little bursts of feeling human. All other times I literally do not have any detectable thoughts going on. My soul and mind are just dead. I do not want to do a single thing. Everything and everyone is shit. Nothing is good.
  13. My stock answer to the "am I depressed?" question is: if you find yourself even asking that question, you are depressed. From what you write and our past conversations, you are most definitely depressed. Adderall-time (~ 1.5h duration) is the only time during the day I feel remotely human. All other times I strongly, strongly want to be dead.
  14. I just want to chip in something similar I’ve been experiencing this last week or so. Setting the scene, I’ve had TRD and TR OCD for 24 years now and severe chronic pain for over 10 yeears. Over the last month or so I’ve been on a med combo (can supply if anyone wants) which has sort of alleviated a lot of my severe depression. I’ve also made some behavioural changes that have significantly reduced my pain. I also figured out that I might have Fibromyalgia and started taking meds for that. In essence, I’ve felt the “best” I’ve felt in a long time, along with some hope to top things off. Pertaining to this thread however, I still have lots of SI. To the OP’s point, it’s like the meds are a thin veneer over my savage depression. They sort of paper-over it, rather than addressing it. The only med I’m on that makes me feel human is Adderall and when its effects fade, I get SI within 10 minutes pretty reliably. I’ve since lost hope that the Fibromyalgia meds can help “sufficiently” since I’m getting such vivid SI regularly. So in summary, I’m doing relatively “great”, but I still have vivid, disturbing bouts of SI and depression. Wonderful.
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