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sming

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About sming

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    PDoc Confounder

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  1. Thanks @mikl_pls. Better in what sense - mood elevation?
  2. Did anyone get any mood elevation from any of these drugs? I ask because I have severe, decades-long TRD that only responds to stimulants. Many thanks.
  3. Adderall and Oxycodone. They're the only things that make me want to do anything at all. Without them my suffering would be so much greater.
  4. I get these too (in fact I'm feeling a "very bad person" because of one right now). The only approach I've had success with for OCD's intrusions is ERP (Exposure Response Therapy). CBT made me try to rationalise and disprove the intrusive thoughts which just dug an even deeper hole
  5. I've taken both extensively (as well as Concerta, Nuvigil etc.) and my 2d is: Provigil - I got amazing effects off of Provigil initially. I was working tirelessly and enjoying it, instead of dreading it and dying for it to be over. It was fabulous. I thought I'd found my med. - But then it basically completely pooped-out. Taking breaks from it (from weeks to years) never recaptured that initial phase. - Now when I take it, I get very mild mood elevation and increased focus. I usually only take it when I really can't motivate and sometimes it helps a bit. That's it. Ritalin - When I first started on it I was crazy for music all of a sudden. For a few days I watched YouTube music videos all day, it was amazing! - After that though the effects levelled-off but I was still getting a good boost in mood, energy and focus for 5-7 hours. - After a couple of months that started declining to where I've been for 2+ years now: I get about 1.5 hours of lifted mood and energy. It's not much but it's worth the World to me. I should add that it lifts my mood (out of the gutter of worthlessness) but doesn't relieve my anhedonia much. I feel "OK" but can't think of a single thing I want to do - There's good data that says that its effectiveness doesn't decrease for ADD but does for depression and this tallies with my personal experience. HTH and always remember that YMMV. Pete
  6. This ties in with what my PDoc told me. He said that Stims do not lose effectiveness for ADD but do lose effectiveness in terms of lifting your mood. He's very experienced in multiple psychiatric disciplines, runs a well-established ADD-focused clinic and is overall excellent so I'm not surprised he's on the money. I still cherish my 2-4 hours of relief each day though. I'd give my life savings to keep them.
  7. What are you hoping to get from it - just the increased alertness, focus etc. or maybe a mood boost as well?
  8. What do you mean by "not excited"? I'm never excited about anything, especially new meds, cos they don't work o_0 Hence I wouldn't let the fact that you're not excited about it deter you. Just my 2d. What do you mean by "not excited"? I'm never excited about anything, especially new meds, cos they don't work o_0 Hence I wouldn't let the fact that you're not excited about it deter you. Just my 2d.
  9. No one's mentioned MAOI's I don't think. They work wonders for some (not me unfortunately, I'm severely TRD). The only thing that helps me is stimulants, which I discovered by accident. Adderall, Ritalin, Provigil all help my depression (Adderall is enabling me to write this). HTH
  10. Hah! A fellow death metaller (old school Entombed, Suffocation etc. fan here). I had a similar experience when first starting Ritalin but it sadly wore off quite quickly. I was watching YouTube music videos for hours, whereas normally I'd be taking sleeping meds to knock myself out to avoid the depression. Anyway, I think Adderall and its brethren would be a good shot. You could also try Provigil, which has helped me focus like a demon (no pun intended) in the past, but not so much these days. \,,/(>.<)\,,/ Pete
  11. Yes, different meds give me very different intensities and levels of realism in my dreams, with different content. I'm on an AD + sleep aid cocktail right now so God only knows what's causing what...
  12. This is a question I sometimes ponder, unfortunately. I've had severe TRD for decades now so I know I'm in for more of the same. I'm constantly depressed, it's just a question of how bad. Anyway, to your point, I keep a mood spreadsheet with columns like OCD, depression, cognition, IBS-C (I also suffer) and a notes column for any interesting findings. The columns are rated out of 10, with 1 being the worst. I add 1 row for each day and each month is in a different spreadsheet tab. I colour code the ratings, 1 is red and 8 is green etc. Then this gives me a good visual idea of how I'm doing and I can easily see if a dosage change or new med is working out or not over the weeks and months. I also type in my regimen each day as it changes so much. Then I know how long I've been on every med. So I didn't answer you actually. Sorry, went off on a tangent there. But this is how I know how bad I am. FTR I also take a depression test once a month and enter the score in a different spreadsheet. Not sure why as I'm always in the "SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP NOW!" bucket ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Pete
  13. an extension of the above suggestions is ACT - Acceptance Commitment Therapy. It basically asserts that life is not meant to be fun and that we're likely to suffer and hence we should embrace the bad stuff (I'm paraphrasing, probably quite badly). One exercise for example is to imagine you are driving a bus. The intrusive thought is a noisy, horrible passenger seated behind you. You can try and not let them get on the bus (i.e. let them in your head) and then have to listen to their shouting, under duress and end up not going where you wanted to go. Or you can welcome them (the intrusive thought) onto the bus (into your head) with open arms and just treat their shouting and disrupting actions as background noise, and carry on to your desired destination. It's that sort of thought exercise. I've had moderate success with these exercises. HTH an extension of the above suggestions is ACT - Acceptance Commitment Therapy. It basically asserts that life is not meant to be fun and that we're likely to suffer and hence we should embrace the bad stuff (I'm paraphrasing, probably quite badly). One exercise for example is to imagine you are driving a bus. The intrusive thought is a noisy, horrible passenger seated behind you. You can try and not let them get on the bus (i.e. let them in your head) and then have to listen to their shouting, under duress and end up not going where you wanted to go. Or you can welcome them (the intrusive thought) onto the bus (into your head) with open arms and just treat their shouting and disrupting actions as background noise, and carry on to your desired destination. It's that sort of thought exercise. I've had moderate success with these exercises. HTH
  14. My pure OCD results in severe self-loathing for "remembering" about my depression (because the OCD dictates that remembering about my depression will cause me to feel so depressed that I will kill myself...). For decades I had to have to always be respecting 6 rules (that I made up earlier) in order to avoid imminent suicide (or so I believed). If I wasn't obeying any one of them, I would feel literally terrified, and often not even know why. The only therapy that helped me loosen the grip of those rules was ERP (Exposure Response Prevention), where you basically say "OK then, let's break a rule and see if I kill myself" - and go ahead and break a rule for increasing amounts of time. Sure enough I didn't kill myself time and time again and slowly the rules lost power. The only meds that helped with my OCD are BuSpar (which is amazing but takes many weeks to fully work), and benzos as-needed. Good luck. Yes, you have to admit it to yourself that you're mentally ill, like 5-10% of the World's population at any given time. If your professional downplays your suffering then find a new one. It's a simple as that. I was lucky to be able to go here, where they specialise in OCD. Good luck.
  15. don't forget : - what's up? s'up? - how's it going? - morning. (short for "Good Morning" - which is never is) - hi, how are you? (whilst smiling and keeping on walking) In my office experience, the above are often equivalent to "hello". I've often fantasized about replying honestly e.g. <them> how's it going? <me> actually I'm in severe emotional, physical and cognitive pain and dearly wish I was dead. How're you?
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