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About SheltieUnderdog

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    Ask Me
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    Central Jersey, USA
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    Leisure Driving, Electric Guitar, Bass Guitar, TV, Movies, Shetland Sheepdogs, Parakeets, Video Games (Mostly Kart Racing, Platformers, And Puzzle Games), Listening To And Expanding My Music Collection, 1970's, 1980's, And 1990's Music And Culture. Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome And HSD Awareness.

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  1. Just an update based on my posts earlier during this year. I ultimately wound up remaining on the oral antipsychotic (Latuda 20mg) which I started taking after completing my 2nd probation term in this decade in January 2018 stemming from a January 2015 motor vehicle offense which ultimately slammed me with a 3rd degree felony (after already acquiring a misdemeanor for resisting arrest on foot in June 2012) related to having schizoaffective disorder and experiencing manic episodes and hallucinations. I was previously diagnosed with Bipolar 1 With Psychotic Features after the 1st incident I was involved in back in June 2012. My main issue the entire time I was serving both probation terms was that I was always court ordered by a judge to continue taking the antipsychotics by injection and to continue my psychological treatment. My primary concerns with the antipsychotic medication was always having intolerable akathisia (inability to sit still), tremendous amounts of weight gain (My height is 5'8 with a small to medium frame and my weight maxed out in January 2018 at almost 310lb after being around 155lb until after June 2012, severe gynecomastia (recently won Risperdal / Invega class-action lawsuit), anxiety, depression, and disorganized speech (currently seeing a speech pathologist to suppress language disorder). Following the completion of my 2nd probation term, I was initially placed on Latuda 40mg taken with food at night and then tested out Fanapt 6mg. I was still experiencing most of the side-effects and was still outright desperate to eliminate all of the symptoms I just mentioned. By the beginning of March 2018, I did ultimately try consulting with my psychiatrist about switching to a mood-stabilizer as monotherapy acting in place of an antipsychotic and accepted the risk that if I actually suffer from schizoaffective disorder and it wasn't Bipolar 1 With Psychotic Features that I would probably relapse and hallucinate again and I was even in agreement to keep a bottle of antipsychotics as a PRN and to just eat them like crazy if anything happened. I discussed everything with him (I never considered him to be a control freak) and he said that he would eventually be willing to try my suggestion but asked me if I had any other idea in mind that involved remaining on an antipsychotic for slightly longer. I suggested to him that I'd be willing to try taking the Latuda at 20mg instead of 40mg before switching to a completely different class of drugs. In retrospect, I'm not even completely certain if any of the oral antipsychotics including the higher dosage of Latuda or Fanapt were even that badly tolerated.. Now, I'm not condemning an entire class of drugs because I now support some of the low-dose oral antipsychotics for myself but I ultimately think that my former overall disgust and intolerance for the antipsychotics was because I was only ever taking them when I was either locked up in county jail and the overall quality of the drugs was really bad and primarily because the only time I was ever actually taking them was when I was taking court-ordered injections. That basically explains why my experience with the mental health system always sucked up to that point. I'm not trying to speak to highly of myself here but my psychiatrist has always said that he considers me to be one of his higher functioning patients, therefore the reason why he thinks I was always so vocal about all the underlying side effects from the injections and was more sensitive to them than the majority of his patients, even at 260, 280 or 310 pounds, my weight was never really a factor for me in terms of reacting to the meds with less sensitivity. It simply didn't matter what injection he would put me on. I was on so many of them including Invega, Aristada, and Invega and they always caused more damage than they did anything positive for me. I always felt like the compromises I had to make to not hallucinate and remain out of legal trouble were simply too much to take. The slow-release form of the injections was always too intense for me but I was honestly being completely forthright when I admitted that I didn't want another episode involving the boys in blue to occur ever again. At the time of my last post, my dosage was already reduced to 20mg and I was still complaining on a regular basis about everything I was still feeling but it wasn't until the end of March when the restless / walking on hot sand feeling finally began to subside. My overall appetite decreased enough to where I lost over 50 pounds by the beginning of the summer (since then the weight loss has stopped at around 260lb unfortunately but I have remained generally stable in terms of my weight). I won a class-action lawsuit against Risperdal / Invega in February and my weight became low enough where my plastic surgeon agreed to perform male-breast reduction surgery on me after denying me previously because I became so overweight / obese after I was released from county jail and the results were very successful without needing revision surgery thus far. My speech disorder did improve a little but unfortunately wasn't completely going away by the end of the summer. I still felt like I had something like aphasia where I couldn't think of common words or name common objects and the words wouldn't return to my mind until 10 or 20 minutes after the conversation took place. The speech pathologist I eventually saw for this referred me to the audiology department at my local hospital for Central Auditory Processing Testing and it was revealed that I do in fact have a language decoding disorder (my intuition was right all along) which is certainly aggravated by having schizoaffective disorder and maybe even still by the medication. I only become somewhat anxiety-ridden and become depressed right after I take the medication with some food, therefore I normally take it right before I go to sleep. By the time I wake up, I am no longer experiencing the anxiety and paranoia but I never become psychotic. Still, the most important thing is that I'm no longer experiencing any of that indescribable akathisia and thank god the weight gain reversed before I hit 350 and I no longer have to walk around with female-like breasts anymore. This is easily the most balanced I've felt since I developed the mental illness in the beginning of this decade. I'm not a morbidly obese zombie with female-like breasts pacing all day and night with akathisia but I'm also not hallucinating and running away from the local police department during a welfare check or speeding from the state troopers on major highways either. The delusions are still there at certain times except mild enough where I just laugh them off most of the time and don't believe the majority my own deception.
  2. Im 5'8 and 288lb. The heaviest I've been is 306lb. From the first test alone, they're saying my sleep apnea is severe and that's why they want me to return. They said they must get the mask on me for further determination on how to treat my individual case effectively. I'm severe on my side and extreme on my back. I also toss and turn violently in my sleep and have restless leg (not related to akathisia) which is why I don't think the mask will work properly at home. Do you think I'll require surgery based on all this information? Just asking?
  3. How did they ultimately treat your sleep apnea? Only with a cpap mask or did you require surgery and was the treatment effective? I'm roughly 290lb currently due primarily to the antipsychotics and what bothers me the most is that they're blaming so much of it on my weight. What bothers me is that I was snoring profusely, gasping for air, had recurrent nightmares, and was tired as **** and had fatigue when I'd wake up when I was still skinny so it's really not weight predominant. I don't know how similar your situation is, but I know from my own experience that sleep apnea isn't completely synonymous with being overweight and obese. I think doctors just like to tell you that you ought to lose some weight because it sounds good. Obviously I'd like to lose weight, they act like I'm gauranteed to do it I take their advice. And I'm not even going to tell you what my experience with the bariatric surgeon I saw was like. All I can say is that I declined and I'm in need of a second opinion. I took the Clonazepam at around 7:45 and arrived at about 8:30. It didn't work for me being taken that early. My typical bedtime is around 1:30am.
  4. That's still an antipsychotic. They put me on Invega 78mg by injection in the hospital after I resisted arrest in July 2012. It was my 2nd encounter with akathisia and ultimately made me figure out that the restlessness was being caused by the meds they were giving me and not just hyperactivity from my mind racing. My first ever AAP was Abilify in 2011 and I couldn't understand why I simply couldn't manage to sit still for very long. The Invega made me identify this after I went over a year unmedicated and had zero restlessness. The Invega also worsened my gynecomastia and put my prolactin levels off the charts for a male. My current psych at the time tried cogentin, then artane, and both failed to counteract the aksthisia.Then he basically just told me to live with it.
  5. I'm going to mention Lithium and Depakote and relay some of the information I have gotten and go with whichever one my psychiatrist recommends to use first. I've never been diagnosed with insomnia but my situation is that if I get a good nights rest, I can't sleep for **** the following night and the next day I'll be tired enough that I'll sleep the respective night at the end of that day. I'm not very active with the exception of the akathisia and physical therapy 2x per week. I am currently morbidly obese and have too many orthopedic problems to be active so that may play a role in why I have trouble sleeping in general. I currently depend on Clonazepam 2mg for sleep. I was on Trazadone previously and found it less effective overall, I had to be somewhat tired for it to work at all. I have sleep apnea and went for an overnight study recently and they wouldn't allow me to carry any medications with me in the facility without authorization from the prescribing doctor (in this case my psychiatrist). The pulmonary center gave me nasty attitude and didn't want to do any additional work getting the script faxed over and deemed it unnecessary so I arrived without the Clonazepam and only slept for about 1 1/2 hours the entire night, not even long enough for them to get the mask on me and evaluate me properly. I now have to return for the sleep study with my Clonazepam in order to even hope to fall asleep long enough the 2nd time. The pulmonary center only started requesting that my psych fax over the script after the 1st test failed and I wasted my time driving and sleeping there that night. They didn't even apologize for not listening to me originally. Just an example of my sleep issues.
  6. I think from your point of view that myself switching to a mood-stabilizer as monotherapy will pretty much entirely unmask which type of mental disease I have primarily. If it fails or works after a significantly long enough period of time, it will unequivocally expose whether I have schizoaffective disorder or bipolar 1 psychotic. If it turns out to be schizoaffective disorder, then I must take the antipsychotic PRN immediately. What I do know at this point is that mania plays a large role in whatever imbalance I have present. I can absolutely confirm that. A final question I have for you is, can someone who's Bipolar 1 With Psychotic Features experience delusions when not manic or must the mania occur before all other symptoms? I know I was manic well before I hallucinated every time but I can't seem to remember if I was always manic while I was delusional. I believe I was, but I'm not completely certain. I just realized that this poses a risk. If I was depressed and delusional or baseline and delusional but not hallucinating at all would that indicate schizoaffective disorder? Let's just pray that a mood-stabilizer alone is effective. The akathisia in a movie theater or a restaurant, oh my god.
  7. I don't know if you read everything I had said, but I was also on Zoloft at the time of my 2nd psychotic episode and that was literally all I was taking. My experience differs later on when I revealed this to a psychiatrist at one of the county jails during my little journey. He acknowledged that anyone with Bipolar 1 or Schizoaffective Disorder should avoid Zoloft like the plague when taken by itself while those illnesses are present. He simply said it raises someone's mood gradually too much and can eventually generate psychosis, even if they're just BP1. I listened to him carefully after that and will never take any SSRI, including Zoloft ever again. It's not worth it for myself. Thank you for the additional information on mood-stabilizers. I'm going to relay all I've learned to my psychiatrist at my following appointment next week in order to make the best decision possible.
  8. I'm not trying to convince you or anyone else of anything, I'm trying to get additional opinions based on the most accurate reenactment of my symptoms that I'm capable of giving. The reason I chose this thread is because it matches the most recent diagnosis I was given (although questioned by my current psychiatrist, as he's not entirely certain) and I thought I would face more discrimination posting an identical topic within the Bipolar Disorder Thread because potential Schizoaffective Disorder is simply a different animal. I wanted to encounter more individuals who were diagnosed with both disorders actually and render an answer based on everyone's responses, not just yours. You have the right to answer my question, but I also have the right to respond with skepticism. I was using more caution by posting here but made it clear from my original post that I was formerly diagnoses as Bipolar 1 With Psychotic Features by multiple professionals, instructed to take mood-stabilizers alone by professionals, and was unsure about my exact mental disorder myself. I was under the assumption that I was safer posting my question in here and if anyone diagnosed with Bipolar 1 or Schizoaffective Bipolar Type were to catch eye of this and possessed any knowledge that could help me, they would post here and try to help me. I also thought they would at least acknowledge the clinical studies and references I posted about how mood-stabilizers alone "can" treat Schizoaffective Bipolar Type when they reached certain dosages. You seem to be nearly oblivious to anything I have said, and continue to give the same black and white answer. I personally think that's why were conflicting here. I see everything including mental illness in multiple shades and you are simply more black and white, bar none. Furthermore, I don't recall ever saying that my doctors were idiots within this thread or even alluding to it. I've admittedly done it in the past on here but I was careful not to vent on them this time around. If you can show me evidence of me directly calling any of my doctors idiots, it was done completely by accident and in error of how I actually feel about my current doctors. I'm frustrated with them but I don't exactly see them as complete idiots. And it's funny that you mention my doctors in the plural value rather than just single out my current psychiatrist or neurologist. I'm sure yourself, like almost all others on CB Forums do not intend for your medical opinion to be placed over a professional one. As I said, there were several "doctors" in the jail system who were observing me directly after my incident took place who said it was Bipolar 1 With Psychosis Aggravated By Severe Mania. I said this from the beginning. They had seen and heard of the incident that took place on the nighttime news and were talking to me before they made an analysis, drew a conclusion, and prescribed any medications. My diagnosis had been previously Schizoaffective and Bipolar 1 With Psychotic Features preceding that. I realize that this doesn't apply to your most recent response, but are you essentially stating that because you deemed my issue as plain Schizoaffective Disorder that I should only listen to the psychiatrists claiming that it's likely plain Schizoaffective Disorder first, you second, and the psychiatrists claiming it was Bipolar 1 With Psychotic Features last based on your own analysis? Are the professionals claiming it was Severe Mania stupid to believe that it could be Bipolar 1 by this point in time? If my current psychiatrist were emphasizing BP1 only would that make him idiotic? I think I'm doing a lot of my own legwork in discovering what is actually wrong with me where my doctors have failed or simply aren't interested in immersing themselves any further into my own mind. There simply hasn't been enough psychoanalysis to warrant what any of them are saying about me really. The longest I've ever spent with a psychiatrist in a single appointment is 35 minutes (5 minutes over the maximum time allowed by the agency). I'm currently trying to find a private psychiatrist who will take my insurances. With that said, while I'm no longer condemning antipsychotics in any way, I believe that the diagnosis's of schizophrenia and schizoaffective should be extremely reserved for only utterly extreme and highly repeated cases (3 or more). Not just 2 incidents where someone still retained lucidity during the immediate evaluations without sufficient psychoanalysis done at any point. Psychiatrists should simply be required to do more work when labeling someone as schizophrenic or schizoaffective rather than just an average 15 to 25 minute interview and slap someone with the label because they have so many patients. Imagine someone who is being wrongly labeled as schizoaffective and being required to take antipsychotics which they're intolerant to because the psychiatrists spent so little time analyzing that specific patient and just tossed them into a wide-bracket cesspool without thorough justification? Imagine how much that patient has to potentially suffer (if they have an intolerance) when they were really just BP1, BP2, or something else overlooked? Psychiatrists should be forced to research to the situation until they can do no more.There should be a criteria that's 5 miles long just to reach the conclusion of schizophrenia. Just my 3 cents on that.
  9. Hi, Thank You for answering my question directly. I've been waiting patiently for that. How is Depakote in terms of weight gain, is it at least weight-neutral? I'm being cautious of Lithium because of the explosive weight gain I hear it can potentially cause. I've been prone to all weight gain from any medication I've taken that list it as a side effect. If Lamictal is the gold-standard for Bipolar 2, than it may fail for me despite the clinical studies I've posted claiming its effectiveness in treating psychosis at dosages reaching 400mg or higher. This was observed in 3 female schizoaffective patients it apparently worked on and caused remission of paranoid symptoms. I also have heard about it and witness it causing weight loss for the morbidly obese. Depression is basically non-existant for me as I'm gradually building up to a psychotic episode. I simply become increasingly manic until the point I'm feeling pleasure from a lot of things to a point it's semi-euphoric. I can relate to your lack of sleep while enduring mania, I want to stay awake and just keep going through the night. My senses are more acute and my reflexes sharpen. I can read and recite things so fast. I'm so focused. Then I start becoming delusional and begin thinking my life was more complicated than it actually is in reality and start thinking the world or a large amount of people might revolve around me. Then I start thinking about acting on it and my mind starts racing and subsequently I develop some paranoia and the pleasantry starts dying away and is replaced by potentially terrifying hallucinations (mostly auditory). I found a way to tolerate this the last time by reducing ambient noise like TV's and the heater and going outside to try starting my car to drive to the hospital (car wouldn't start). As I said, the last time this happened I was sprawling for an AP (which usually goes into sufficient effect within an hour for me), just didn't have any around because I threw them all out. My psychiatrist should have suggested a mood-stabilizer then and I would have had an answer to this dilemma by now as to whether a consistent AP is necessary. At that point he was just begging me to remain on the Haldol, I declined and dumped all my Zyprexa in the trash. My alternative plan to consistently taking antipsychotics could not be anymore cautious and preemptive than it is now. I just need to settle on a mood-stabilizer as a first choice, like I said I've been sequestered from them due to misfortune and bad timing and decisions. Now I'm planning to give it a full shot. Thank you again for being informative and direct. Simple as that.
  10. I can't be anymore honest when I say that my psychosis has always occurred with mania. I experience the depression and suicidal thoughts when I'm on the antipsychotics and the opposite occurs when I'm not taking them, usually for almost a year. It's a revolving door and cyclical for me but I've never been on a heavy mood-stabilizer alone. The last time I was manic, and enjoying the feeling of it, screening came to my apartment (at the request of my mother) and suggested mood-stabilizers. They showed up too early (by a few days) and too late in a way as well to intervene successfully if a mood-stabilizer could have prevented what I had done that night. The day I began hallucinating, I was searching the apartment for Zyprexa out of desperation to make it stop, but I had unfortunately thrown it away months prior out of frustration and never wanting to take it again. I was going to drive myself to the hospital but my car wouldn't start because of the frigid temperatures (it was the middle of winter). I wound up walking over to my mother's townhouse and took her car and fleed, then she called the police and they were already waiting for me at the nearest hospital with knowledge that I was likely heading there (I spotted them from afar). So I chose to keep going until I reached a hospital where there was no police presence, by the time I did, 3 counties away, the cops caught up with me on the street before I could admit myself to that hospital and apprehended me. The story made the nighttime news. Another thing I will mention about my psychosis, is that along with preceding mania, it also only seems to occur in extreme temperatures. When I resisted arrest before that in 2012, it was during a massive heat wave in July. If that sheds light on anything. I live in a temperate climate zone with noticeable change of seasons. Extreme temperatures in the winter and summer seem to be detrimental to me when I'm off the medication or it could have just been the timing.
  11. All I can say is that my psychosis has always occurred after days of mania and grandeur. I have no idea what classification I should actually have because I've received so many different labels from multiple so-called professionals over a short period of time. Like someone who's changed their hair color so many times and they forget the natural one. I think the assumption that it's plain schizoaffective at this point and treating it with antipsychotics is just them playing it safe and being unwilling to take a risk because of how much trouble I've gotten into. I mentioned the emergency PRN already. The last time I became psychotic, without the use of a mood-stabilizer, I was desperately searching for one.
  12. Look, I've tried almost all of them, enough to claim suspected intolerance to the entire classification. I don't even want to bother with Seroquel in the schizophrenic range because my intuition knows I'm just going to suffer through another trial period before I see my psychiatrist again. There must be some type of similar composition or chemical in every antipsychotic that is doing this to me. Every single ******* pill, which is allegedly different from the other one, as according to my psychiatrist, seems to have akathisia and severe weight gain as a side effect. Maybe it's the Dopamine Antagonism, who the **** knows? I don't care enough anymore to figure it out. Are you suggesting Lithium over Lamictal? I haven't fully decided yet, but I was currently going to choose Lamictal because it reportedly causes notable weight loss in obese patients. I need some of that without an antipsychotic added to the concoction. The antipsychotic (if still present) would probably prevent weight loss from Lamictal which is why I must take a drug like Lamictal alone to get the desired effects.
  13. The breakthrough could have been better than that, my god. Thorazine for myself, would be like a chemical lobotomy. I guarantee you that. The only praise I'll give to its creation is that it essentially made the chemical lobotomy only temporary and the effects can be reversed. It's not permanent anymore. Still, what difference does it make if you have to take them for a lifetime and feel borderline lobotomized for the rest of your life? It killed domesticated animals in the testing stages. Also an accident. It's funny you mention the antihistamine properties. Whatever traces of that is in antipsychotics from when it was originally created must be residual ancient science because the majority of them have made my chronic allergies worse. No current allergist or otolaryngologist would use them for anything. Dry throat, inability to secrete tears, aggravated post-nasal drip, and endless violent sneezing to name a few of the things they have caused for me. And this is while on the newer atypical drugs. Further reinforces my argument that their basic composition is similar and they haven't come a long way in almost 70 years of evolution. Hiccups and acid-reflux are both worse for me on all of the antipsychotics I've tried. In my experience, the most effective remedy for hiccups is drinking water and not breathing for at least 15 seconds. The majority of the time, the side-effects from antipsychotics are so agonizing for me that I wish I could just be institutionalized without having to take medicine at all. Confinement would work for me if I were unmedicated the entire time. It did, as a matter of fact, when I was incarcerated and not taking the antipsychotics at all for a significant period. The psychiatrist on staff at the first jail I entered claimed my condition was a severe case of Bipolar 1 Mania With Psychotic Features, suggested a mood-stabilizer, and told me they reserved the use of antipsychotics in their facility for only "extreme cases" because the effects it would have on the inmates, primarily akathisia, would get inmates into fights over space and boundaries because of the constant movement. I only had some delusions over the course of this period, never hallucinated, and could tolerate my environment much better than if I were taking antipsychotics, so I was to find out later on. It wasn't until I got extradited (it was a police chase spanning multiple counties) that another facility offered me a position in their mental health unit under the condition that I take my prescribed medication which turned out to be none other than low-dose antipsychotics. It was from that point which I developed the askathisia, became depressed, and started gaining weight again. I couldn't wake up in the morning (an effect of Zyprexa) to the screaming voices which were previously tolerable. The environment which was once a walk in the park for me became intolerable and I became scared of things that didn't phase me when I was unmedicated at the previous facilities. I wouldn't have done it if it didn't make my situation look better for my parole hearing, which was quickly approaching. Antipyschotics also seem to deter confidence and destroy courage and conviction for me, something that is essential to surviving jail and prison. They destroyed affect, making things completely flat. And all the counteractive meds which I kind of believe they prescribe much more than anything else to benefit the drug companies than the patients, because they either don't work, or they're like placebo, and the patient just believes the condition has improved when it hasn't. Point is, they don't work for me and I'm aware they don't work. Been on Cogentin and Artane, they don't work. I'm not going to be conned into taking more incessant useless drugs. They either have no effect on me or knock me cold out and once I awaken, I have akathisia again and want to stuff my face. If they work for someone else, which I hear is usually minimal improvement of akathisia at most, then like I said, great for them. They don't work for me, the antipsychotics are simply too powerful to be overtaken by the counteractives. You see, I already had metabolic problems to begin with before I developed my illness but I was able to fend off the weight gain until they started medicating me in 2011 at age 22. I used to be thin, in relatively good shape, I loved 80's music and aspired to become a professional bass guitarist. Now I'm seeing a Bariatric Surgeon to discuss Gastric Sleeve Surgery? Yes, damn right it's bull****. The illness "and" the antipsychotics destroyed everything. 145lb is a lot of weight for anyone on this earth. I pace all day and I'm morbidly obese on top of it. I fear that I will become like Manuel Uribe, the worlds fattest man until his death in 2014, who weighed 1316lb at his peak weight as it appears I have no weight set-point on this class of drugs.
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