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    Connecticut, USA
  1. I totally get what you mean. Seems I'm in a similar boat. I've been meaning to try out body paint, maybe that will replicate in a way. Henna is good sometimes cause it stays for a long time, but it isn't the same. I've basically run out of ideas. You are definitely not alone though.
  2. For me it's a mixture. The pain and the blood. I had a period of time in which I burned, but it didn't satisfy my particular urges because of the lack of blood. Each person's urges are definitely unique in their own way, but that does not seem unusual to me. As far as alternatives go, I could totally see how that wouldn't work. I would say the old red marker trick, but for myself personally it does nothing. Do you have any relief in drawing on your skin? Markers, henna, etc? There is a definite release in bloodletting that is difficult to replicate in a healthy manner.
  3. There is a different sort of strength to admitting and talking about when you are struggling. You may not have a stiff upper lip, but there can be issues that come with holding it in. I find it very brave to be able to at the very least voice your struggles and allow people to try to reach out and assist. In my case, which is and will not be your case or anyone else's but my own, the hard decisions become less difficult to bear. They are still there. They still pop their heads in and take long extended stays on my mind-couch. They still eat all my food and rack up my electricity bill. (I'm taking this analogy too far.) BUT. The visits pass, and I'm left less wrecked from them as I previously would be. Hope the feelings pulling you down let up.
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