Jump to content


  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by amskray

  1. I agree with the above assessment. The relationship does not sound healthy and he has not done anything to show that he's really willing to work on himself.
  2. I can relate!I'd give you an A+ simply for handling it differently. I continue to be amazed at how such seemingly small things can trigger such huuuge responses.( I am referring to myself here but I know that many here can relate).
  3. I don't want this to scare anyone or diminish anyone's legitimate experience but I am one of those people who was caught up in the wave of sexual abuse repressed memories in the 1980's. I had two harmful therapist experiences where it was assumed by the therapists that I had been sexually abused. Fast forward to maany years later and several legitimate therapy experiences and I 've come to accept that what went on in my formative years was not abuse (and definitely not sexual in nature) but rather a situation where I was expected to parent my mother. I was a depressed child. I think I developed the depression as a coping mechanism but there is definitely a genetic component. Mental illness and addiction run rampant on both sides of my family. Anyway, the trauma in my childhood was not really "hidden" but it took me a long time and many detours to understand what happened. I am still discovering new aspects. And I suppose that there could be some sort of buried trauma but I really don't think so. What went on with me doesn't seem that "bad" and maybe someone who was not prone to depression might not have been affected as extremely as I was. But it was enough to cause me MAJOR problems.
  4. Hi everybody. I have been taking Agomelatine for 3 weeks (as an add on to Duloxetine). I don't feel any better. I feel sleepy and slightly more depressed and anxious. How much longershould I keep taking it? Or should I stop? What have others' experiences been? Thanks!
  5. I'm not having any success right now but I have had in the past. My therapist can almost always bring me out of it with EMDR so I know it's possible. Brain research supports this. This is true for me. I regress very quickly and feel like an abandoned baby which crwates panic and anxiety. That's a hard place to get out of!
  6. I do this a lot. Part of it is my depressive make up but part of it comes from my childhood. My relationship with my mother was kind of mixed up. I felt responsible for her anxiety and she wasnt able to help me be strong and stand up for myself. I felt really alone and scared and wanted people yo like me so much that I would tolerate anythingthey threw my way. Kids sense that right away and I was often a victim of teasing and I was so emotionally vulnerable that it felt like I was just going to die when it happened. And now, if I am not doing well I am certain that people hate me and I can interpret just about any interaction (or lack of interaction) as negative. And then anxiety jumps right in with all the negative messages. ???
  7. I have depression and anxiety , not bipolar disorder. I have quit many things due to depression and anxiety. It doesn't make me proud but I have accepted it. And i have realized that sometimes quitting can be a good thing if what your doing sucks. Are you in therapy? That's helped me with accepting the past snd moving forward.
  8. Just because you feel those things doesn't mean they're true! You're not pathetic, you are fighting your way through a debilitating illness! That takes incredible strength!?
  9. Maybe look into a therapist with a sliding fee scale? Support group? IDK...I'm just throwing ideas out there. Definitely talk to the psychiatrist!
  10. I think it's easy for stuff to get missed. I actually didn't get too sad about it. I am kind of proud of myself for asking for replies a second time rather than just assuming that no one replied bx everyone hates me.?
  11. Thank you @snakes @BipolarSpinster and @looking for answers for taking the time to reply. I was able to find some humor in the fact that no one originally replied so that's good. And at least I know I am not alone in how I feel. ??? to everyone!
  12. Well, anything is possible I suppose but I think I will live the rest of my life dealing with depressive symptoms and anxiety. Fucking anxiety! It's easy to think that I am not "successfully" recovering bc I am not doing well right now but I think that's missing the point. To keep going on and keep trying and not give up when your brain is telling you **that you are worthless and everyone hates you anyway and your kids' lives are doomed and it's all your fault bc you fucked up and you have to fix the situation RIGHT NOW but you won't be able to bc you are incapable and on and on**. That right there is kind of a fucking miracle that we don't all just give up! We are some strong people!
  13. I am replying to my own topic bc no one else did.?? Am I the only one feeling this way? AM I actually all alone? Anyone? Anyone?
  14. @echolocation, You do a good job of describing the feelings/thoughts of depression. I can relate to how you feel. I agree that phone contaction with the psychiatrist is a good idea. Hopefully the doctor can help you over the phone. Maybe upping the dosis would help. Do you have a therapist? Maybe you could find someone near you to talk to even if it's just for the summer months? Good luck! You are not alone!
  15. I am not going to say very much bc I can't seem to formulate words right now. I am experiencing one of the worst symptoms of depression for me:feeling utterly detached from everyone. Also:comparing my life to everyone else's and believing that my life is empty. Fuck depression.
  16. I hear this! That is often the first thought in my head when I wake up in the morning : "when can I take a nap?". Even when I am doing relatively well, I still have that thought but I can put it on hold and go about my day. On bad days I can't stop thinking about going to sleep.
  17. Up until 2 years ago, I had not experienced that feeling of true happiness,letting go and just enjoying the moment in YEARS. I really thought my life was over. I had turned 50 and I thought my life was basically over bc I was "old". I was able to get some intensive treatment (due to our socialized health-care here in Germany ) and I actually felt so good for a long time. Now I have settled in to everyday life and it's harder to feel completely happy but I am doing so much better than before and I am able to see possibilities and solutions to my problems. My point is that it IS possible to feel better. I didn't think it was either.
  18. For me it's emptying the dishwasher. Seems like an insurmountable task even though I know it isn't. As for showering, I do it in the evenings. My only idea is to make a strict schedule and stick to it. No exceptions,for 3 months. At that point it should become a habit. (But I second the idea of being kind to yourself, even if you don't achieve your goal)!
  19. @Blahblah.:Agomelatine is an atypical antidepressant which has few of the typical side effects (no weight gain). It can cause liver problems. It can help with the quality of sleep.
  20. So....I did go to the doctor and I presented him with my research. He agreed to prescribe Agomelatine. I just need to get a liver test . I have put the whole thing on hold bc I am making a last minute trip to the US to visit my mother. She has dementia and has really started deteriorating in the past few weeks. Very sad. On the other hand, I am feeling good,oddly enough. I finally found 2 therapists that I like after searching fora long time. Now I actually have to choose! For awhile I couldn't find any!
  21. http://shop.adamjk.com/products That's the link to an artist's shop. Adamjk. He has some funny pins like one that says "calm down/cheer up". And as everyone here knows, it's really helpful when someone tells you that!? Anyway, it made me laugh and maybe it will make someone here laugh,too.
  • Create New...