hopelessromantic

I want to see and talk to a doctor face-to-face. For someone who's introverted this seems rather odd but I don't want to use my laptop and talk to a doctor through screens. Anyone else old-fashioned about this? Between this hurdle and also wanting to find a doctor who is female, I am making it difficult. Plus since COVID they are at least 12 weeks out for appointments . . . .

I am really bad in this catagory. Seems like I get way too comfortable being the third wheel in a friendship, you know the one that just tags along when two friends go out? That's me. I truly think that at this stage of my life I am too weird to have any real, close, soul-bearing types of friendships.

Hypersexuality during mania completely messed me up. I would be chasing some girl around and somehow in all the frenzy of that crush I would put off major vibes or energy, so that I would end up with a boyfriend but totally be mentally and emotionally into whatever girl it happened to be that month. From age 8 to 37 the pattern never changed.

I don't really hate people I just don't have a lot in common with 95 percent of them. I tend to keep to myself. And usually if someone pisses me off then I tend to dislike them for a long time, even if it is something trivial. Things just seem to drive a wedge between me and most of society. I have been described as an introvert by people at work but really a better word would be antisocial.

I am not always angry but I am usually irritated. Sometimes over the stupidist stuff. I keep a box of pencils in my desk drawer, not for writing, just for snapping. It's gotten that bad.

I would love to have drips of mania every now and again to increase my creativity and motivation to write and record music like I used to. Sadly it doesn't work that way. Whenever I'm in an up mood, I do try to channel it towards music.

BP2, not really manic, not really depressed, but I do tend to stay in an irritated mood. Need meds because I am dangerously close to menopause age and don't want this on top of that. Life is too short to be in this pissed off irritated state of mind. Thanks for any ideas, stories and suggestions.

I was told "I miss the old you". Translation: they miss the drinking partying hypersexual manic me who zipped through life without a care. I just don't trust myself to be that person anymore. I'd rather be boring and grounded. When you meet someone while manic and then get your shit together, you do seem to be a different person. Others can't believe the stories they hear about me because it's so different than the me of today. Just thinking out loud.

Friends/family along with the 3 that are going on the cruise with me think I am overthinking this. I have asked for prayers that the ship will not sink or run into bad weather. Also prayers for: no type of norovirus or food poisoning, no seasickness, no sunburns or migraines from bunkmate, no dehydration issues, no overindulgence in alcohol that results in stomach sickness ( I don't drink so this applies to bunkmates ). With the recent news with D.R. tourists I pray for no tainted alcohol. No injuries or illnesses since we could not get the insurance. And I don't want my anxieties over screaming unruly kids running around the ship to make me go batshit crazy. I plan on taking those disposable gloves and wearing them. I refuse to touch utensils at the buffets. I will only eat omelette eggs or things like pancakes (now that I have a slow digestive tract I doubt I will be eating much of anything) . Probably just bottled water to drink. I have to have somewhat of a normal routine and this being my first cruise I do not know what to expect. Carnival ship, mid-August to Bahamas. Is it possible for me to relax and actually enjoy this vacation? Would love advice, thanks . . . . . . .

I just got on prescription strength prilosec on Thursday - so far so good - I have TEMPORARILY made changes to my diet as I don't expect to eat/drink like this forever. But for some reason I don't understand, hot tea has been one of my irritants, iced tea also for that matter. I am not brave enough to try a soda yet. I don't lie down after eating and I make sure to drink my water after each bite or two of food, instead of one drink to 4 or 5 bites.

Anybody have the problem of timing out and having to sign back in? I signed in then later opened another window to check social media - when I went back to this window I had to sign back in - this has never happened before - - - is this a new safety feature or something?