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Complicated toad

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About Complicated toad

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    a cold, sad place

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  1. Ha now that would be too simple of a solution. I embarrassed my child yesterday by going into the store with food from cooking splattered on my shirt and dirt from the garden all over my jeans. So the point to the long answer, no apron. And I get food or water somewhere on my person most every day. Would you rather deal with very hot or very cold weather?
  2. I had no problems coming off trintillex, but i only took it for a few months because the price for my refill took a leap to $1000. I have great insurance (not). I have had discontinuation problems with other meds, but trintillex was smooth. But again, i didnt take it for very long (4 months maybe)
  3. I've had dreams where I can't move or speak, and I've woken up and been unable to move or speak for a while. I also had an awake paralysis before I went to sleep where a shadowy figure came at me from across the room and I couldn't move. I think they are all related to how your brain paralyzes your body so you don't act out your dreams, and those combined with hallucinations that can happen right before you fall asleep or shortly after waking can be terrifying. But it's all natural byproducts of the body's normal processes, from what I have read.
  4. Two different blood pressure meds. Even though I am not overweight, I eat healthy, and exercise, I have had high blood pressure since I was a young adult. I have quit drinking and smoking, and still on blood pressure meds. Go figure. The good thing is that I don't have side effects from them. All the side effects from the revolving door of psych meds is enough for me. What is your favorite breed of dog (if you like dogs that is)?
  5. I completely relate. I've felt that way all day, the last few days really. I was sitting here feeling kind of hopeless and alone so it's good to know I'm not the only one.
  6. Feel crappy today. Anxiety got me up at 4 am and i havent felt comfortable in my own skin since.
  7. Thats a good one. Cant answer that without thinking myself into circles.
  8. Wait, i think it might have been Dead and not I Bleed. Something off Doolittle for sure. Doesn't really matter, it was a very long time ago. But both still great songs...
  9. People hold up phones instead of lighters now? That's just plain weird. I love the Pixies, i still listen to them. They are part of my growing up soundtrack. I remember using "I Bleed" as the basis for a college project on the effect of musical dissonance. I am 45, should i feel old? Im not sure. I will admit i dont listen to much that was made after the late 90's and early 00's. It seems like music became less interesting after those decades.
  10. I spent a lot of years severely alchohol-dependent, then became a crack and meth addict. I know how awful a relapse feels, and how hard it is to get back up afterwards. But it can be done. There isn't a magic answer, but you keep trying and you will get there. I wish I could do something to help you with your cravings, it's getting past them that is going to be hardest. But if you've been sober before you know they get better with time, so I'll spare you from advice you probably already know. And I understand about not wanting to tell a doctor about being an addict, I've been there. But maybe there is something medical that can help? I see you took naltrexone, that didn't help with the craving? It helped me with alcohol cravings. I wish I knew of something else to recommend. I guess I can just offer my support, I know how awful relapse can feel, but I know it can get better too. I spent a lot of time hating myself....But I don't hate myself anymore, it got better. I hope it gets better for you soon.
  11. I don't know for sure, the package says it can cause "loose stools" only if too high of a dosage is taken. Taking a normal dose has been regulating for me. It's not like a laxative where it makes you go urgently, I just find the day after I take it, my system works like it should. Apologies if this is TMI 😁
  12. I love the Natures Calm magnesium powder. Tried it for anxiety, but also found it improved my headaches, constipation, muscle pain. It's good stuff
  13. Heck yeah, I was a kid in the late 70's and 80's, it was a big thing. We did roller skate shows in the driveway for the neighborhood parents, and going to roller rinks was a big deal. Very cool. My daughter had a field trip to a roller rink a couple years ago so I got excited and went with. She hated it and spent the afternoon in the arcade and I had to skate by myself haha. I What's your favorite summertime activity?
  14. Thanks, might chalk that one up as a bad idea, glad i read the link you attached
  15. Bouncy....need to get off message boards because I can't shut the F up.
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