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Complicated toad

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About Complicated toad

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    female
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    a cold, sad place

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  1. I don't know what's right or wrong but I reckon it makes it easier for girls to pee out in the woods without having to squat and wipe themselves with leaves that may or may not be itchweed. Not that it's ever happened to me........
  2. The first year I used the light it helped quite a bit, I definitely noticed a difference. Lately it's not helping so much but my schedules and routines were so knocked out of place this year it's not surprising. I think it's worth a try - I got mine for around $30 on Amazon, the pdoc said just to make sure to get one that is 10,000 LUX.
  3. Adorable chickens! Someone in my neighborhood has chickens and I purposely go by their house every time I walk my dogs just to say hello to the chickens. Except its winter now and I live in a place that gets very cold and unpleasant in the winter, now I go by their house wondering if they let the chickens into the house when it's really cold or how they handle it (note I do not see the chickens out in the yard in winter). The chickens have been there a couple of years so they must have some sort of solution.
  4. For what it's worth, I actually had a reduced appetite and lost weight on Abilify, and it helped with depression symptoms. Trintillex also helped a little and no other SSRI's have done me any good. The cost for both was a barrier for me, but I am in the US and my insurance won't pay for squat so you might have better luck.
  5. Unbelievable and sickening. I don't know how the country is going to recover from the mess he's made
  6. My boss told us it's ok if we can't focus because of the news today, it's ok to take work time to watch, and cancelled our meetings because it was too upsetting for everyone. I think he went up a few notches in my opinion. However, I also cannot watch any longer. So many "that will never happen" things have happened this year my OCD brain that needs control over everything is close to melting.
  7. @aquarian If you pick up another Andrew Solomon book, I recommend Far From the Tree. It's big like the Noonday Demon, but each chapter covers a different topic so you can read it in sections. It includes chapters on schizophrenia and autism. The premise is about parents and their experiences having children with unexpected differences. I went and listened to him when he spoke at a university near me, I admire his writing a lot. He also has a couple of good TED talks If you don't have time for a long book.
  8. I loved The Center Cannot Hold. Also good - Manic by Terri Chaney and The Noonday Demon by Andrew Solomon. Not schizophrenia but about bipolar and depression and I related to both very strongly and they are excellent writers. There was also a schizophrenia/schzoaffective book by Mark Vonnegut (son of Kurt Vonnegut) called "Like Someone Without Mental Illness Only More So" that is very good
  9. Just finished Ballistic Kiss by Richard Kadrey, newest in his Sandman Slim series which is one of my most favorite ever. Also Oliver Sacks memoir On the Move because he is also one of my favorites.
  10. Just read it too, awesome, as was Hyperbole and a Half. I loved that one so much I bought it for my teenage daughter and insisted she read it.
  11. Blockbusters was awesome, even more was the two independent video stores in my city that had the best selections of bad B grade horror movies. I enjoy telling my teenage kid about rotary dial phones and TV's where you had to get up and walk across the room to change the channel. She seemed genuinely impressed that I survived childhood without YouTube.
  12. I get the Trainspotting reference, I've seen it, I even saw it in the 1990's as soon as it came out on videocasette (apparently the word videocasette is so obsolete that my spell check didn't recognize it and tried to change it). Having something you don't want to fuck up is good, that's as good a motivator as any.
  13. I started as a binge drinker, keep it to weekends, and it did make me more agreeable because the crippling anxiety got better. Then the binges got longer, the nice drunk became one no one wanted to be around and the drink became more important than everything else so I threw everything else away. So life sucked even worse. I am sorry to keep preaching my cautionary tale but I'd love to stop someone from the same mistake.
  14. Pretty sure I have said the exact same things. I drank 20 years of my life away in an attempt to stop the self-loathing and still have a hard time. Thing is, there is a line you don't want to cross between drinking to feel comfortable in your skin and drinking because the drink has taken control and you have no choice because without it you become unbearably sick. I don't want you to relinquish your decisions completely to it. You have creative ideas that the rest of us enjoy so we would all prefer you keep driving the ship. I hope you find a way to bear through the ugly moments so yo
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