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Complicated toad

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About Complicated toad

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    female
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    a cold, sad place

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  1. That makes no sense, considering everything happening in the world right now. I am sorry you are going through it.
  2. It's funny that considering I don't really go anywhere normally that I would feel depressed because I can't go anywhere. Part of what is making me feel terrible is I always thought "if I was ever allowed multiple days at home I would do all of these productive things" and here we are and I have not done shit. I lay on the bed, stare at the wall, look at some internet, stare at the floor, etc etc. It's making my already shaky self esteem go right down the crapper. I feel pretty darned useless.
  3. I have a 10 month old German shepherd who has decided he is a big boy now and needs to protect the family. So he barks at everyone that comes within about 8 feet of me. It's worse if my daughter is with, then he barks at anyone within a quarter mile. He's like a mascot for social distancing.
  4. It's hard, I am perpetually distracted, checking news on my phone, talking to dogs. I got a little more done today - and I am thinking of putting scheduled breaks, rather than sitting for 3 hours and having crummy focus, I want to get up every hour and do 5 minutes exercise - a couple sets of squats and lunges or something simple like that. I have high hopes that it will give me the boost I need to focus. Now I just have to follow through with it.....
  5. I came to this site to force myself to get away from news sites. I spend too many hours obsessively checking news and it's not good for me at all.
  6. Two guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.
  7. @notloki I completely agree. In the worst of my substance abuse days, I was using crack and meth and whatever else I could get my hands on, yet the drug that put me in the icu more than once, caused internal damage, damaged the most family and friend relationships, and was the all around hardest to quit was alcohol. The withdrawal is dangerous, your pulse and blood pressure go through the roof in addition to the seizures. And because it is legal, the addiction sneaks up on you. I thought my behavior was completely normal for years since drinking is socially acceptable. It wasn't until I noticed my body shook when I went too long without drinking that I realized something was wrong.
  8. I feel weirded out by everything. Like there is something catastrophic going on but I am not sure how it will end up. I am really nervous, dreading the usual 4 am panic wake up.I I am worried now having said this, I have been told that I could make it worse by saying or writing any of it.
  9. Just placed a library hold on the Book of Lost Things so I can read it. Just finished One Damned Thing After Another by Jodi Taylor, it was unique and fun (sci fi/fantasy). I look forward to continuing the series.
  10. I am really happy for you :). Books are so important in my life, and that you found a new way to be able to enjoy them again is awesome. Twice I dropped out of college mid-semester because of hospitalization and I was 5 credits from a degree for almost 20 years. I was lucky enough to finish the credits when I was over 40- but in hindsight I really did all the work before those last credits. So you have already gained the knowledge that goes into a college degree, even if you don't have the piece of paper.
  11. Life is getting hard. I am doing very little and hating myself for laying around so much. Weird the website keeps booting me out. Like maybe I shouldn't post this. Maybe I will regret it? That's likely, I wake up at 4:30 every morning with a new regret. 4:30 (no shit right on the nose for weeks now) please stop waking me up to remind me of all my flaws.
  12. Agree, after my child and I got trapped in an enclosure full of llamas during a rain storm at the zoo, I came to know the magnificence of this animal. Ps my daughter took this photo of our good friend Ps I just realized I am totally minimizing the original posters concern, and I apologize. I just really love that llama and jumped at a chance to share.
  13. Wow, thanks for sharing that. I had been considering one of those salt lamps because I think they look nice, but I also have multiple critters. Not going to get a lamp now, sure not worth it. The cat and dogs team up and can manage to get into just about anything. Glad I read this
  14. I loved The Center Cannot Hold, excellent book, author I greatly admire. Also liked We Have Always Lived in the Castle and The Stand (that is the Stephen King one I assume? I am always up for a Stephen King, who isn't). Keep posting recommendations, I am always looking for something good to read. Currently stuck in John Connolly's Charlie Parker mysteries and I highly recommend, knowing I am on the last book makes me sad. I looked at my library account just now and I'd forgotten I had let my teenage daughter check out a couple books on my card. She has one called "The Legion of Regrettable Supervillians." That is very intriguing I will have to ask about it.
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