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Complicated toad

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About Complicated toad

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    a cold, sad place

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  1. Looks like we're on about the same cocktail (except trazodone, I hate that stuff), and I have memory issues that come & go, but I think it's more linked to depression than meds. Gets worse when I'm symptomatic. I'm up to 450 on the bupropion xl and when I bumped from 300-450 the only issue I had was a decreased ability to use the bathroom regularly but that's another topic.
  2. That's about what I've experienced. Extremely agitated, feel like my skin is crawling and I want to crawl out of it. Anxiety and OCD are at their worst, everything is extremely loud, I am in perpetual sensory overload and lose the ability to filter anything out, irritability is also on max. Thoughts are very dark, begin interpreting negative messages in normal everyday things. Sometimes a bit of paranoia.
  3. Haha I am with you on this. One benefit, it is usually very cold at my desk, but the explosion of anxiety every time I have to phone someone or run a conference call causes me to flush red and sweat profusely. I no longer notice the cold after that.
  4. That deserves a complaint. I am bummed about going to work tomorrow and I just had a weekend.
  5. Puppy (he suffers from a delicate digestive system therefore he often lays in my bed and emits noxious fumes)
  6. I think OCD used to be classified as an anxiety disorder but now it's separate. But they are closely linked. For me, the obsessive thoughts create a lot of anxiety, and the compulsive behavior is my way of trying to calm myself (doesn't work). The more anxious I am, the stronger the obsessive thoughts, and in turn the obsessive thoughts make the anxiety even worse. They feed off of each other.
  7. Ad for Squatty Potty, "poop better." I guess pooping better is always a good goal to have.
  8. @kitties thanks for the support. My OCD was significantly better when I was in zoloft, but my mood swings were much worse. I have decided if it's a toss up between treating session and treating anxiety, I will live with anxiety and intrusive thoughts. I picked up "treating OCD with CBT for dummies" at the library (I am actually serious they really have that book) so we will give that a go. Treating depression not treating session! Stupid autocorrect
  9. 17 degrees this morning with a wind chill that made it feel like 3 (Fahrenheit). It's going to be a delightful week. Really makes us depressed people want to get out of bed (not).
  10. I assume they must be, one diagnosed me as panic disorder with agoraphobia and only would prescribe seroquel for it. I'm sure it's also because I had an alcohol problem when I was younger.
  11. Its not helping yet, but the dose is still pretty low, i can see about getting an increase at my next appointment. It seems like ive gotten more depressed since being on it, but i suppose that could be the time of year too. Good to remind me of potential consequences, it would be really unfair for her to lose out on meds she needs because of my stupidity.....i will try for the gaba approach before doing that again
  12. Admittedly, I have done this before, acquired meds from someone else's stockpile, but this may be a new low. Took 1\2 a Xanax from my dog. She has plenty left, so I won't leave her deprived, but I feel bad. At the same time, I also feel much better thanks to med. I've had serious anxiety and panic all my life but have never been able to get anyone to prescribe benzos, not even in the short term. They only give meds that make my depression worse. So I am stuck with the option to treat depression or treat anxiety, never both. I usually opt to treat depression because it is the more debilitating.
  13. Really rotten. Like I can't do this anymore. I'm irritable, exhausted, hate who I am and what I've been, feel like everyone else hates me too, and there's no point to any of it. I also think I may have forgotten my morning meds today so I am banking on that being the problem. Maybe if I go to bed and take all meds tomorrow it will be better. But I have a bad feeling it's not going to be all that much better because it just occurred to me I haven't showered in nearly a week and the thought of doing so is borderline overwhelming. That's not a sign of good things to come.
  14. My dog is the only one I can talk to without drama. Nevermind she gets jealous of the other dog. The cat is the only one I can talk to.
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