Juniper29

I agree with saintalto. Can someone drive you to the hospital?

Sounds like you are in an emergency state and need to call pdoc ASAP.

Don't personality disorders usually develop in adolescence or somewhere around that time period? I could be wrong but I'd have thought changes in personality late in life would be something else.

I had a headache like this earlier this week. It lasted all day. I took my meds a few hours late the night before, that's the only potential trigger I can think of? But if you are coming off Effexor I would think that's a likely cause. I get headaches with dose changes to certain meds.

Similar to what Jarn said ... Even when I'm not preoccupied with or really bothered by my delusions, they still feel plausible, I guess? The one exception I can think of was thinking that my husband was poisoning me. I know that's not true and I'm a little embarrassed to have believed that. But all the stuff about the government and people reading my thoughts still feels too true for me to be ashamed of it. It just fluctuates how much of a hold those ideas have on me, if that makes sense.

Pets are fine, it's just wild animals.

I have a weird phobia, too. I'm afraid of wildlife photography. Not actual animals but photos of animals. I have, with exposure, gotten to where I can handle a kids nonfiction picture book with photos, but I can't use Google images for anything animal related, that's just a total panic attack.

Well it killed my sex drive, along with the Prozac, but I know it can affect some people that way. It actually stopped me from being suicidal. I worry about TD too.

Abilify has been helpful for me. I have some side effects but so far they are minor, I do worry about long-term side effects, but I keep taking it because it helps so much. I would definitely try Abilify before ECT.

Not at this exact moment. But yes, I have felt happy quite frequently during the past year. And I know that feeling that you'll never be happy again or feel anything except possibly pain. It's not true, things change, moods go up and down, music becomes beautiful again. Your capacity for joy isn't dead, it's dormant and can be revived. I've also had some intense relationship regrets, as well as past trauma, and that will get better, too, with time and therapy and maybe meds. The shame and rumination are part of the depression. I'm not saying you go on meds and everything is rainbows, but it does get better. And sometimes worse. And better again.

I don't have any advice, but hi!

It's possible, but seems unlikely IMO. But I know it feels really real.

I have a neighbor, an elderly woman. About a year ago I thought she was spying on me, because I was always running into her in the halls, or I would see her standing in the doorway to her apartment when I was leaving or coming home. I thought she was keeping track of when I was home and when I left each day so that eventually she could break into my apartment. My therapist said she was probably just lonely and looking for people to talk to. I don't know, but I don't see her anymore, I'm actually not sure if she still lives here, and she hasn't broken into my apartment.

Medication has pulled me out of several severe depressive episodes. My first episode went untreated for months and got very severe, medication helped me climb out of that dark, numb hole and feel happiness again.

When I told my psychiatrist, she did not put me in the hospital nor did she have any emotional reaction. I've always been grateful to her for how calm she was about it. My regular doctor did suggest putting me in some kind of program (I was a teenager at the time) but nobody did. I strongly suggest talking to your therapist about it before it becomes a bigger issue. For me, medication also helped.