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About Juniper29

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  1. They are/were definitely emotionally disturbing. I don't want to elaborate but yeah. I did wonder if OCD could be a factor (I'm not diagnosed with it but have some OCD-like symptoms). Idk.
  2. Ah yes, I think stitch markers are different in crochet than knitting. I was thinking of the ones you slip on a needle to mark your place.
  3. Yay, you know all the words! Lol. I couldn’t remember worsted weight or darning needle (can you also call it a tapestry needle? why is that in my head?) and was too lazy to google. I make my own stitch markers out of scraps of contrasting colored yarn. I find the stitch markers they sell at the store are too bulky and sometimes my knitting ends up with holes or unevenness.
  4. When you buy yarn, it usually comes with a tag or wrapper that has a little knitting needle symbol and a number. This is the suggested needle size for that yarn. What yarn is best depends on your budget and tastes, but for starting out you'll probably want a medium weight yarn that you can use with a size 8 or 9 needle. You'll also want to buy a needle that you can use to weave in the ends when you're done. They sell these needles in the same area as knitting needles, they look like needles you would use to sew but bigger. At some point, if you continue, you'll want a tape measure too. I've been knitting a lot more recently, it's so calming.
  5. Thanks for answering. It scares me how quickly I can go from feeling totally fine and even happy, to some really dark thoughts. And still not feel particularly depressed. Idk.
  6. I definitely sleep more, get worse as the day goes on, and get the leaden paralysis feeling. As far as my mood brightening in response to good things, I've had episodes where that was the case and episodes where it wasn't.
  7. I could swear I am not depressed right now, but I've been getting periods of suicidal ideation that scare me a bit. It's generally in reaction to things that are happening in the world or little things in my life. Maybe it is depression, but I feel pretty good overall, energy is OK, so this seems strange and out of keeping with my mood? Has anyone else experienced this?
  8. In my early twenties I went through a period of being very religious and I believed I was specially marked for sanctity and that I was having mystical experiences. Then at some point it shifted and I believed I was destined for hell and there was nothing I could do. That was the same time I started believing the government was following me and such. I don't believe I'm a saint or mystic anymore but it's still hard for me to see that as a delusion. I don't know anymore what really happened. It was wonderful though in some ways and I miss it.
  9. - It snowed. - I got maintenance to fix the light in my apartment. - I did a puzzle with my son.
  10. Pronounced irritability and anxiety, for me. I'm taking the gabapentin for anxiety so it could just have been recurrence of symptoms, but it was dramatic.
  11. I've been on Prozac for several years. I started at 10 mg, then 20 mg for months, and then 40 mg for a long time (don't remember how long but maybe a year?). Then my dose was bumped up to 60 mg due to breakthrough depression, stayed on that for a few months, then to 80. It took me at least a month to fully adjust to each dose and for the startup anxiety to go away.
  12. Today is going better than yesterday which I spent mostly in bed. So far: - I heard a bunch of birds twittering when I got out of my car this morning - the cashier at the store I went to was friendly - I mopped the living room and kitchen which is a huge achievement for me
  13. Have you tried gabapentin before? It's been the most helpful med for my anxiety that I've tried. I know for some people it does nothing but for some it really works.
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