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Idekanymore

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About Idekanymore

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  1. I need help.im 15 and my birthday is in January.I have a medical Condition that effects my skin and it just cleared up and is getting so much better so I decided to go to a party with my aunt, my 3 cousins and Mum. My mum leaves early so I stay with my aunt and cousin. I had a great time it was my first party in like 2 years I felt like a normal teenager again. So that night everything was fine until the next morning. I decided that maybe I should stay there for one more night because we were still having fun and chilling but my mum didn’t like that. My mum is on medication for her emotions , you can never tell what she is going to do her emotions can switch in a second. Okay back to the story. So I try some of my cousins cream for my face because I don’t have mine and my mum said she wouldn’t bring it to me. My face went all red but I knew how to handle it but we still phoned my mum to ask her to bring up my cream that is medicated. So she brought it up to my aunts and just started shouting at me and wouldn’t stop going on and on at me. I almost felt like crying. As she was about to leave I told her I would phone her later but she told me not to bother and walked out.So when she went home my family was shocked at how angry she was. I let my frustrations out to my family and told them things about my Mum. (Just to let you know I am very depressed and go to a therapist but my Mum doesn’t like me to talk about her to my therapist so I don’t because she’s scary). Me and my cousin were watching a movie after being on our phones for a while so I sat my phone on charge and put it on silent so it wouldn’t disrupt us. The movie is a bout half way through and my mum phones my eldest cousins phone. She gets really mad and asks why I didn’t answer and I told her why but she sounded furious. After the phone call I check my phone and I only had two missed calls surely my mum can’t get mad at that and it’s not like I’m out somewhere dangerous I’m just with my cousins. I didn’t phone her back that night because she told me earlier when she visited not to phone her. Then I got a text saying what time she would pick me up at in the morning. Me and my cousins went to sleep but I kept my phone next to me so I would hear the alarm as I am a very heavy sleeper. So I got up the next day when my alarm went of and put my phone on charge while I got changed in a different room. After I got changed my aunt handed me the phone oh was my mum asking why I didn’t answer my phone so once again I tried to explain but she just got mad and hung up. I found this weird because my mum always moans that I never go out and I’m always in the house so I didn’t understand her paranoia of me being at my aunts. My mum shouted at me as soon as I got on the car. Once we got to the house she started screaming calling me a disappointment and many other hurtful things. I went to my room to get changed and cried a lot bit my mum made me sit in the living room with her. I was still a mess at this point. I couldn’t stop crying. She kept telling me to shut up and stop crying getting really angry. She stared saying things like you’ve embarrassed me and are a disappointment. It was very hurtful. I done nothing bad enough to get this treatment. I kept on saying I was sorry and I won’t do it again. She got angry and told me I’m not staying over at anyone’s again. She was acting like I was a criminal. She was saying things like if I want to act grown up then I can do everything for my self from not on and how she’s giving up on me. This really got to me I’m at the hospital a lot and I am also at therapy for depression and other things. She also kept on mentioning on how she’s my mother other things like that. I’ve tried to apologise loads but not once has she ever took my apologies into consideration. She honestly scares me so much. She always gets mad really easily and I’m always on edge. She has never physically abused me but mentally im almost dead. I’m now still crying and I am having really bad thoughts about how to let the pain out and that’s different to me because I’ve never thought this deeply about something like that before, I’ve never acctually wanted to do damage like this to myself before. I feel so ashamed. I really hate myself right now.What should I do?
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