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kei13

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  1. I have gotten one too many but it'll have to do. Thanks For caring!!!!
  2. Then what happened? Benzo withdrawal is a bitch. That's what it sounds like to me. Wellbutrin could exacerbate those feelings, but it mostly sounds like benzo w/d. You should go to the ER. I managed to go back in the house and put clothes on. I was taken to the ER, by the time I sat in the car, since I'd already started crying I started to feel calm. At the hospital all they did was give me IM Ativan. (Ativan for the third time at an ER this week, but the first since tapering of benzos) I knew they wouldn't do much at ER, but I needed to make sure my lungs and heart where working properly. The doc was a bit of an ass, I asked him , he said it was just the panic attack, an like you said maybe benzo w/d symptoms so I told him I could go home and take my klonopin he said he had to give me something, so I asked for an IV that way I could chill and hydrate, crying and lithium are plenty of reason for dehydration, he said you're not dehydrated cause you don't have diarreah, or are vomiting... I went to the car and waited for release papers... I have an issue with school, homework=panic attack. I tried taking 300 Wellbutrin instead of 450 ( I now I shouldn't be doing so on my own, but last weekend the ER P.Doc suggested I didn't take Wellbutrin) and for two days I've felt less anxiety. Last night I forgot to take my benzo, as I laid down for a nap not my night's sleep and I feel ok. Except for the fact I have to write the paper I freaked about on friday, due in 5 hours, so here comes another freak-out session.
  3. Well my anxiety grew after I wrote the initiall post and I tried to go to sleep. I couldn't fall asleep but I was soooo tired, it aggravated me. Then I started to feel short of breath, I tought I could die. The full moon scared me and I saw some yellow flowers and I thought they were flowers for the dead, I freaked out crying screaming, begging to be taken to ER on the spot. They tried to calm me down and that made it worst I just needed to get to the ER. Freaked out. Running. Screaming. In a shirt and underwear climbing into the car.
  4. I'M FEELING EXTRA ANXIOUS LATELY, IT'S BEEN OVER A MONTH OF CRYING, IRRITABLE AND SNAPPING, AND RESTLESNESS..I'M FUCKING TIRED. 1. CYMBALTA, PAXIL = MY BODY FELT LIKE A HURICANE/EARTHQUAKE INSIDE MY SKIN... NO SSRI'S 2. WELLBUTRIN GOOD FOR A FEW YEARS NOW. 3. DEPAKOTE= UHH, HUM... WHAT? TOTALLY DUMB 4. LAMICTAL MADE ME NAUSEOUS 24/7 AND DROWSY, BUT I GAVE IT A CHANCE A FEW TIMES 5. LITHIUM, NEW ABOUT A MONTH NOW 6. ADDERALL prn for a FEW, MY JOB IS PERFECT FOR ADHD, SO IF I WAS TO KEEP THAT JOB FOREVER I WOULD'NT NEED MED TREATMENT JUST THERAPY AND TECHNIQUES 7. KLONOPINS STARTED LAST SEPTEMBER WHEN HOSPITALIZED; WAS AT 2-3 MG + RECENTLY 2MG ESTAZOLAM. a few weeks ago nothing worked, except for the super BENZOS TO CHILL, and the ADDERALL to WAKE.... HOWEVER DEPRESSION, MIXED WITH HYPOMANIA HAVE PREVAILED FOR A VERY LOOOOOOONG TIME. I GOT A NEW PDOC, (WHOM I WAS IMPRESSED BY AND DECIDED TO STICK WITH HER, IT SEEMS SHE KNOWS VERY WELL WHAT SHE DOES) AND SHE KEPT LITHIUM, THE WELLBUTRIN BECAUSE IT'S "WORKED" FROM THE BEGINING, ADDED CELEXA STARTING AT 10MGS MOVING TO 20MG, ADDED B12, EXCERCISE (DUHH) AND CALMS FORTE A HOMEOPATIC FOR SLEEPING. HOWEVER SHE ASKED ME TO STOP ADDERALL (FLUSHED AWAY) AND TO TAPER OFF KLONOPIN. THAT WAS MONDAY, I STARTED TO TAPER BY TAKING 1.5 MG. I EXERCISED YESTERDAY, I'VE EVEN TRIED SOME YOGA TYPE OF BREATHING, WARM BATHS, SEX , AND IT ALL WORKS BUT ONLY WHILE IT LASTS AND MAYBE 1/2 HR THEREAFTER. I COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE MORE ANXIOUS. I'M PISSED. I CAN'T STAND IT!!! COULD THE WELLBUTRIN BE THE CAUSE???? THAT'S MY MAJOR SUSPICION.
  5. I was ready for a second opinion. I had already contacted a new Pdoc... I haven't been stable (crying, mood swings, insomnia, restlessness, death wishes) since I remember, not even after Dx'd and Rx'ed, quit drinking.... I was now on Lithium, Wellbu, Klonop, Adderall, and Estazolam. The only help I felt where from the addictive ones. (d-amphet. & benzos). After a crisis last weekend, (2 ERs, my doc MIA + almost got 5150) Last Monday I got a call for an appointment with a doc I'd called, she specializes in adults. So went for a second opinion. I have not been stable for years when she heard what I was taking she was quite alarmed. Said it was a lethal cocktail. Bipolar II on adderall, Wellbutrin and benzos. I told her to re-screen me because I know that BP and ADHD could be concomitant but rarelly so, and difficult to medicate as well. I told her I realized I had a problem a few years ago, but I also realized that I had been living with these problems ever since I remember. She asked if anytime since 17 y/o I had been manic for two weeks without influences, and I told her I've always been on something mainly on caffeine, mary j & alcohol, ALWAYS on either or all of the above. So she said that there could be a possibility I wasn't BP. She asked me if there had been alcholism in my parents or other relatives (this tends to be a commonplace in ADHD, ADD's) I said not that I knew of. She kept trying to figure out why would I get my ADHD, and asked if I was premature I said yes, umbilical cord tangled about neck 3x at 6 1/2 months. She said that could be it. She said I really need therapy I have 20+ years of issues to work out. She showed me some pics of brains and said that drugs like Adderall and Benzos I couldn't have because of a highly addictive behavior. She figures I have strong personality issues to work and that she doesn't believe in over medicating her patients, much less for life. She read my auto eval sheet and said I should be in a hospital, that I canno't live like this. She asked if I was ready to make some CHANGES, work hard, follow through and accept the consequences. I said yes. Her goal is to get me to a stable place, get used to it and once my psyhcological health has been dealth with, figure out whether I have BD, BP, ADD ADHD or what. So she keeps the Lithium, and Wellbutrin, only changing when I take them, and added Celexa, kicked Adderall and told me to tapper off the Benzos....( she gave me a list of things to do: no sabotage, no alcohol, exercise 5x week, see a psychologist ASAP, and weekly, she said I should only need to see her once a month, not two or three times like I had to go to my other Pdoc.) Anyway the story is even longer but I said more than enough. BTW I'm freaking out. And I was on adderall for two months only (I only needed it for school, my job doesn't require to sit, or do the same thing for more than 10 minutes, even less) on the benzos since September. Right now I feel EXTREMELY ANXIOUS, the thought of doing homework makes me cry, at night worsens.... I feel agitated...... Scared.
  6. I've browsed about tapering off benzos but I'm not taking Valium and also I had to quit adderall cold turkey So: How to... klonopin 3mg at bedtime I've tried doing 1/2 dose at night and it's not going so good Any suggestions
  7. I'm just about to start Celexa generic. Doc Said I would kiss orgasms good-bye for a little while...It's a little while few weeks? Or a few years? Cause if it's too long I might end up getting rid of my boyfriend.
  8. I mentioned the rules just because my interpretation of such, tells me I needn't worry. So if figured you shouldn't either. I can't deal with the conventional group therapy. So I feel free to do as you say: come and go randomly you can always come back. Crazyboards is the best group therapy!!!
  9. Ironically, my reaction to eating was the reason I found out I had a MI Sometimes I ate, and felt "high" even giggly and silly, "irie" but of course that didn't bother me at all, I didn't think anything of it.... Anyhow, eventually the feeling after eating anything changed, I felt "heavily depressed" immediately after eating. So I tried to lighten my meals, but whatever it was; a healthy balanced meal, a tablespoon of PB, and apple, cheese and coffee, whatever, and the cigarette that no longer helped. Isn't food supposed to give me energy, not drain the little I have I thought...So with this complaint, and my suggestion that smoking was what was making me tired and that I wanted to quit, my doc finally got me to try Wellbutrin. And within a week it was like a Miracle happened. I felt energized again (not wired) I had forgotten what it was like, also my "dusk" anxiety (which would drive me to a bar) started to dissapear. I realized that my dumb ass was depressed, I visited a Pdoc and he screened for depression, my answers mostly ended with "but it's not all the time... some mornings I have to wake up and dance" or "I laugh and smile in those days where nothing else could go wrong", "I'm a go-getter", blah, blah = Bipolar. Nurturing your body will help you feel good, but I agree that a restrictive DIET is NOT a remedy for MI. Every BODY is different, even if we all ate the same exact things our reactions are different. IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT WHAT WORKS FOR YOU. ARE THERE ADD ISSUES IN MACHU PICHU???
  10. What I need is some serious anti-oppositional behavior therapy. But hypnotism might be a quick fix. I'll look into it after I'm done with this paper, but surely before the next. I'll try to ask a Therapist about it on Wednesday if not I'll start by writing "I'll work on my assignments for at least 30 minutes every day" 20 times (Bart Simpson style), or maybe I can brainwash myself with a voice recorder . Anyhow, I unplugged the modem and it kept me off CB for an hour, until I had to look something up. I'll definitely write about my experience as a student, I found out I had BD only three years ago or so, alcoholism, economical hardships, 10 eventful years. That will be my graduation reward. It is going to give me a chance to work somethings out. Hopefully it will help... time to unplug the modem...
  11. AM Is right. And if by tomorrow you mean Thursday (I'm in the all-nighter is this today or tomorrow confusion) .... you have all the time to re-write notes, eat some brain food, relax and rest and I'm sure you'll be OK.
  12. a test on what? If you have notes re-write them using other words. Are you bad at taking tests??
  13. I can't give you advice, but I totally understand. I'm pulling an allnighter right now, too. Somehow I've managed to focus on Facebook chat for about 2 hours. My friend needed advice, so I kind of felt obliged. But even before that, I was "taking breaks" more than I was working. I have 3 tests before Wednesday and events on Monday and Tuesday nights, so this is kind of my last big chance... and yet, here I am on crazyboards now. I've taken my ADHD meds. I'm concentrating... I just can't concentrate on the right thing tonight. We are on the same ship, hope we don't sink, I'm a good swimmer though. I'll have someone research the Hypnotism thing for me and I'll let you know, in case if it interests you. A 10 year B.A. BLOOD, SWEAT AND TEARS LITERALLY. My credits start to expire. First paper tomorrow, two more before May 12th. So I'm at the end of my rope, I already e-mailed some class-mates to see if anybody wants to help. I don't have much $$ but I will put it all into getting this class done. It sent me to the hospital last semester, almost again this weekend. (Story in other post http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.ph...amp;pid=329626) Good luck!!
  14. So, I've had a though week. Thusrday and Friday went to ER cause meds not working. Have had to take plenty benzoes to cope. 5 page paper due tomorrow, on a topic I'm not familiar with, and as always, I get ready for the all-nighter event which will only allow me to write a mediocre draft. I rest in the morning, clean up room, drink a lil'coffee and take my adderall later than usual. I gather my books, play my jazz and put my earplugs on. Water, cigarettes, scented candles. I even called one of my co-workers too see if he could drive me to school, (foreseen anxiety + no sleep calls for a DD) because my boyfriend might not be able to. Boyfriend asleep in the living room; my environment is ready. Why must I always find a way of not doing what I'm set to do? I drifted into CB while searching for info on Yeats... 7 hours ago. Yes I'm naturally slow + I'm a two-finger typer. And the ADD??? Yeah, I easily wonder off. Plus, I'm picky with my writing because English is not my first language. I look up words in my bible: Concise Oxford English dictionary (which a couple hours ago I dropped into a basin filled with foot-relaxation water ), to make sure I know my words. I feel like a dumb ass, but, just for this one last class that I need to graduate, I'm going to have to take drastic meassures. I was thinking... - paying someone to stand behind my shoulder, whip in hand screaming: "focus Keila FOCUS" but not even in Kindergarden I allowed anyone to help me with my home work or.... hypnotism. Anyone tried it??? Should I?? Does it work??? Is it safe???
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