argh

Still pretty good. Going to try to take a nap. Noticed by my posts and blog that I was sort of sinking before. If I do truly cycle this has been the mildest cycle ever.

except for once or twice..maybe 3 times, that's generally my breaking point too.

can't pay attention

People are the worst. People are what's wrong with the world. My verbal filter is having a hard time coming online at work, lol. Dig deep argh. Think three times before saying anything then don't think fuck it I'm saying it

here's hoping it's mild one if it is. maybe being med sensitive, it will cushion the fall somewhat as lamotrigine is the only mood stabilizer which is primarily one that stablizes "from the bottom" as in it works for depression, where other mood stablizers are known to stabilizes "from the top" meaning it's mainly manic based. not that they don't also have corresponding mood effects, that's where they are just stronger. i'm sort of on an upswing but aside from the buying and uncharacteristic purchase it isn't too bad. Like I'm definitely in a better mood than normal/stable but it isn't too much better. Things are not super sharp and vivid, thoughts are a bit faster but not racing..i am forgetful/spacy again, which is another tell for me. Also extra aggressive at work, but that's expected of me/my team so that is great for work, but i'm usually the mellow guy. if i didn't know to look for elevation i'd be like..ok this is weird, but i wouldn't be like wtf is going on?

It isnt like knock you out sedating but it is a bit tiring. If you were in a minor up mood, you night be coming down

25 was not sedating. 50 and 100 were. 150 is neutral. I'm guessing if I went to 200 it might be activating

Good luck. Remember the side effects pass. It's a really rocky titration

Agreed, if a drug shows promise but is causing issues due to dosages, you are well in your right to express your concerns. There is no way to measure the amount of chemicals in your head and every head is different. we have people on here that take a heroic doses of meds or take a ton of meds to deal with their issues. On the other side of the coin, we have people on mono therapy or taking sub therapeutic doses of meds and it works for them. listen to @notloki

Not at all. Taking meds 4x a day, 5x if I count my sleeping pill is exponentially better than the alternative. this is what i need to stay away from mixed depression as the more I understand it, the more it doesn’t seem like i have a typical mdd experience. totally worth it to stay on them. my meds aren’t very side effect heavy, so i might feel different if i had your regimen. great title btw.

Fired up

lyrica is approved for anxiety in the EU, could try it as off label gabapentin works too. it helps with my anxiety and for give provides an antidepressant effect. if trileptal is promising why don't you go with tegretol? That's the "parent" of sorts of trileptal and is more effect according to most. geodon is supposedly the most weight neutral AAP as you are concerned with weight. @DammitJanet is on it, she might be able to help

abilify, vraylar and rexulti are dopamine agonists, not antagonists. that means that the MOA purportedly provides some levels of activation of the dopamine receptors. I.E instead of dopamine causing 100% of the D2 receptor, abilify would block the actual dopamine and activate it up to 70%. Perhaps you need a full antagonist. I've seen risperdal mentioned as quite the potent one. It allegedly is the most tightly bound of the AAP to the dopamine receptors vs typicals which have tight D2 binding as the rule. Is there a reason why you aren't going with 200mg of lamotrigine? While some respond at lower doses, myself included, the generally accepted dosage for mood disorders is 200mg, unless your sig is old i see 125mg. cymbalta is an SNRI, so it has some effects on noradrenaline. That could be causing some of your panic/activation too. Would a pure SSRI like luvox which is FDA approved for anxiety possibly work better?

@looking for answers is not bipolar, maybe, but has MDD..also maybe. His blood levels are under the generally accepted therapeutic levels but he's said it's been a total game changer for him. There's this https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC193982/ there's also this. as someone stuck in unspecified mood disorder land, this guy's site is something i reference often but might not apply to true unipolar without complications or other associated MDD with spicy features. https://psycheducation.org/treatment/mood-stabilizers/the-big-three-for-bipolar-depression/lithium/ key point in there is that the therapeutic range of .6-1.2 was a range developed for acute bipolar 1 treatment of mania. Something that is less acute could in theory see a benefit at a lower range.

Lol or this further solidifies your role as bizzaro world me as that's another bizzaro world aspect, not just a different sex and cool sounding accent but also a different race. The plot thickens