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Fluent In Silence

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  1. Thinking of Ice Cube saying "The piƱatas around here is bullshit" does help me. Erm ... this I mean.
  2. So I was on Youtube and I scrolled down to read the comments, and inevitably I ended up calling someone a cunt. I know it's not good. Don't scroll down! Don't feed the trolls! But he mentioned the slippery slope argument about gay marriage and some other shit. I shouldn't. No I really shouldn't. I shall remain aloof. Oh fuck it! I'm going to tear this prick a new one. The slippery slope. Yeah because now you have men identifying as cucumbers and wanting to marry their hamster. That slippery slope. Yeah because the only thing which stops me fucking rodents is intolerance towards gay people. The fuck are you talking about? That's just fucking dumb. Well if they let people of the same gender marry then why can't I marry my toaster? Bit of a leap there fuckface. Because your toaster can't consent? Why am I even talking about this? But then they say that you're expressing typical liberal left wing opinions and somehow oppressing them. No, I just think that you're a dumb cunt. I'm not trying to oppress your political views, I just think that you're talking shit.The slippery slope of gay marriage. Oh for fuck's sake. Thundercunt!
  3. Because laughter is always good. Except at funerals. Oh why doesn't posting Youtube links always work for me? Sometimes the video pops up and sometimes it doesn't. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hjU2GCKx4g https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aD9Lfyg2l6E https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74UZNexK8a4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71PNZH1OaW0
  4. Donald Trump won the election? They're putting chemicals in the water that are making the frogs gay? What's irrational is something I've sometimes wondered about. I might be a little bit crazy but I'm not ranting about gay frogs or anything. That's normal and rational is it? The world is pretty crazy and irrational. How do you even begin to make the distinction? I remember a story about a guy who was living with an African tribe (Robert Sapolsky), and a woman with schizophrenia ran at him naked and threw a dead goat at him. They were kind to her and took her to a hospital. Other people in the tribe knew she had problem and that she heard voices. But, because of their belief system, they all regularly heard voices, and Sapolsky asks "If you all hear voices then what is it that makes her crazy?" And the response was "She hears voices at the wrong time." And the moral of the story is that it's all socially defined, and "normal people" are often far from rational. Sorry. Probably not very helpful. It's just something I've wondered about myself. "They're turning the freaking frogs gay!" O......K. I'm going to slowly back away now. Alex Jones seems to be very successful but the guy's fucking crazy. I try to be rational and skeptical, and probably having a mental illness has contributed to this. Am I being rational? Doesn't always help but I guess it's given me an outlook which always questions people's bullshit opinions. Gay frogs! Pfft, fucking hell! None of this is especially helpful is it? I suppose I mean that when you know that you're a bit crazy you try to be a rational and normal member of society, only to discover that "normal people" are completely irrational and crazy.
  5. I remember that feeling from when I used to self-harm. Might make you feel better in the short term but then there's the shame and thinking "What the fuck is wrong with me?" Like Unstrung Harp said - don't be too hard on yourself. You aren't the only one who's felt like this and beating yourself up over it can make you more prone to doing it again. It can be a bit of a vicious circle. Just noticed that this was posted a few weeks ago. Hope you're doing better.
  6. That can be difficult, if not impossible, to work out. Certain situations can be crappy and make you feel depressed, but I sometimes wonder if I'm overreacting to circumstances due to being prone to depression. In some cases this can be obvious in hindsight - it really wasn't a big deal and not worth getting upset about - though I don't always realise that at the time. Any perspective can go out the window when I feel low, and I sometimes make mountains out of mole hills. This doesn't mean that your situation isn't a cause and that you're overreacting, I just mean that I share your confusion when I try to work out why I feel down. Maybe talking to someone about your work issues will help put them into perspective. That doubt can also lead to self-blame, but sometimes it really is the situation and your reaction is perfectly justified.
  7. I do keep imagining stabbing myself in the neck but otherwise everything is fine.
  8. I have in the past. Certainly a lot of people are just shit and you might have second thought about pissing on them if they were on fire. I think depression does play a part. It can make you sensitive to all that's fucked up and awful in the world while ignoring anything that's good. There are decent people out there, even if they often seem to be outnumbered by utter fucking arseholes. I do need to remind myself of this sometimes.
  9. Getting better brings it's difficulties. I've started my degree course and all is going well. If things could always have been better then I've really fucked up my life. Which is depressing and makes me want to cry. Easier in some ways to think that I'm a piece of shit.
  10. Sometimes when I'm down it's like "fuck everything!" Everything is so fucking shit and there's no way to to succeed anyway, in this fucked up, worthless, piece of shit world. Things like that. And relax. Anger usually comes back and hits me in the face. I'm angry at myself for being such a piece of shit and not being able to live a normal life.
  11. Yep, me too. Which is depressing. I can get on OK with people when I'm not thinking that self-loathing, self-sabotaging shit, but it always comes back. This is sounding grimmer than I intended. Those thoughts do get in the way though. To look on the bright side, there are other lonely weirdos out there. Maybe even someone like me, who's afraid of being ultimately rejected because I'm just too damn weird after all. "Can we talk about nipples?" Socialising is something which becomes easier with practice, for me at least. I used to barely talk to anyone and be afraid of the simplest social interactions. "The person who served me in the shop knows I'm a freak" type of thing. More talkative now though still insecure as fuck.
  12. I sometimes like to pretend that I'm not mentally ill. "Nothing wrong with me chief!" Denial. It's not normal to ... erm ... well it's not normal to want to kill yourself so often and over the slightest thing. I'm not a dramatic person or anything. Should one kill one's self? Having a sense of humour I'd like to kill myself in a funny way. Dress up as Superman and leap from a tall building. But you can't fly and you might hurt someone on the way down. Sorry. Weird and depressing thoughts there.
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