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Fluent In Silence

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  1. I'm so annoyed that my parents weren't Jewish.
  2. Lack of any sort of context. No rock to cling to when communicating with others. Stupid/boring/offensive? I don't know sometimes. I always think the worst and expect to be abandoned. Talking about Dostoevsky with someone and I'm either an idiot or a prick for mentioning Nietzsche. An arrogant and pretentious twat or just an idiot? I don't think much of myself. A few drinks and I'm talking about what Crime and Punishment teaches us about morality and how it relates to Nietzsche's philosophy and I'm a fraud because I'm really a fucking idiot. Shut up! You don't know what you're talking about. Have I ruined everything? Probably not. Am I needlessly torturing myself over nothing? Fuck yes.
  3. I bought this beautiful looking book for my niece for Christmas called "Women in Science: 50 Fearless Pioneers Who Changed the World". Really nice illustrations though I haven't heard of most of them. Esther Lederberg? I don't know if I could name 50 male scientists either but I'm attempting to brainwash her with my liberal propaganda about women being able to be what they want. She wants to be a princess. No you don't young lady you want to be an astrophysicist! Yeah do what your uncle says because he's a man and men always know best. Joke! I don't feel comfortable buying her barbie dolls or any pink princess shit. One year my mother bought one of my nieces a set of cleaning toys FFS. Argh! There was a toy vacuum cleaner and a toy mop, and they were all fucking pink because women love pink and menial labour. I've always tried to be better with the gifts I give her. Fucking toy vacuum cleaner for fuck's sake. Here's a toy vacuum cleaner so you can practice cleaning up after your husband, here's a toy oven so you can practice cooking your husband's dinner when he comes home from work because feminism never happened and we're living in the 19 fucking 50's, and here's a dildo so you can practice giving blow jobs, and here's some toy Prozac so can practice hiding the pain. And that's your life young lady. The fuck it is! Still annoyed about those cleaning toys. And how the fuck am I more feminist than some women? I once talked to a woman who said that a woman's place is in the home looking after the children. She was more intelligent than her partner but she came out with that shit. All that Princess crap. So I want to steer my neice away from all that rubbish. It is a really beautiful looking book.
  4. If I had a dollar for every time I'd... I should be a millionaire!
  5. Sounds a bit scooby doo. It's the caretaker in a mask, and he would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for you pesky kids! I have a fat belly and I need the mystery machine and a bunch of stoned hippies to solve that mystery. What's that Scooby? I need to get off my fat arse and do some exercise? Woobywoo! Oh Scooby! Will you shut the fuck up if I give you some heroin? Woobydoobydoo! That great dane has some addiction issues. It's an old thread but I still have a fat arse.
  6. Why doesn't this exist already? As miserable as I sometimes feel I can still think awwwww! Look at it's little pawsies! Life is pointless suffering and we're all going to die alone and awwww! Look at that cute little floof! 😍 I'm not sounding especially masculine right now. Oh well.
  7. So I might go to this thing which is doing a Secret Santa, and I started looking for crappy but funny gifts to give. This turns out to be much more fun than trying to buy something that you think they want and worrying that they won't. In the end I bought a book called "The Beginner's Guide to Sex in the Afterlife." I'm not sure that I want to give that away now because that's an amazing title. It was a difficult choice though because there are so many amazingly crappy sounding books out there. Here are a few.
  8. Thanks for that 😉. Normal is boring and different/eccentric/interesting might be better words to use than weird. When I feel 'weird' I say to myself "Try to act normal", which doesn't work at all. You can't consciously act normal because the self-consciousness ruins it. Am I being normal? Am I being normal? How about now? Am I being normal? It's like being conscious of the way you walk - if you have to think about putting one foot in front of the other then you end up walking strangely. Trying to act normal is an effort and probably makes me seem stranger than if I just tried to be myself. Things go much better when I'm not so painfully self-aware that I trip over myself. Am I sounding weird?
  9. I'm ok really, sort of. I went out last night to spend time with my fellow homo sapiens, and it probably would've been a good time if I'd been in any mood to enjoy it. Nothing bad happened and things went fine, objectively speaking. Subjectively I was thinking - "What am I doing here? Nobody wants me here. I'm weird and stupid and boring and everyone here is better than me." It's a habit. I can't even think of anything I did wrong to beat myself up over but I was still wrong in some way and I left feeling depressed and alienated, though half aware that I was being ridiculous, not that that really helped much. So waiting for the train home it did cross my mind that I could jump in front of it. Why not? Justify your existence before the train arrives! This must all sound incredibly miserable, but I wasn't all that depressed and I was never going to jump in front of the train. Great way to think though. It's not a good night unless you consider jumping in front of a train. Oh brain! Why must you ruin everything?
  10. One of the friendly mods here can change it for you. If none of them notice this thread then there's a list of the mods in a thread near the bottom of the main page who you can PM to ask to change your name. My name when I joined was Holy Fucking Shit! I'm wondering if I should have changed it?
  11. Ah! Duh! Makes sense now. Don't know why I thought that in hindsight. I would've thought (hoped) that a government job would offer more protection against discrimination. Less toleration for intolerance. Obviously not the case.
  12. I think that Scottish independence is inevitable if we leave the EU. Let the British Lion roar Boris said. Meow? Compare it to WW2 because that makes sense. We got through Dunkirk so we can get through Brexit. But!... but that's an idiotic argument. God I'm so sick of WW2. Yeah we stood up against the Nazis and helped bring freedom and democracy to europe. We're great and everyone should be so grateful to us. Although before that we did go to foreign countries, enslave them and steal their wealth, and kill anyone who disagreed. We weren't the good guys much of the time but we stood up to the Nazis so remember that and forget everything else. Which sounds like I'm just rambling but I think that British and especially English identity has a lot to do with this mess. We're a small island and a second rate world power at best. Europe needs us more than we need them. Really? Fucking really? This Brexit mess has made me dislike my fellow English folk. Watching Question Time makes me want to smash my TV. "Let's get some ignorant and ill informed, though firmly held, opinions from our studio audience so that our panel of arseholes can talk shit." Brexit means Brexit and we're either in or out. But... you don't understand the complexity of it and I hope that you're diabetic. Fuck it! I'm moving to New Zealand.
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