Jump to content

Fluent In Silence

  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Fluent In Silence

  1. Scotland maybe? I think they'll go independent at some point. Voted against Brexit as a country and they don't seem keen on the aforementioned twat. It's pretty cold and wet and alcoholic up there though. Canada or New Zealand? They seem like relatively sane places. I am British born, which seems to be important to some pricks. Like that's an important thing. We have British born dickheads, and we don't want foreigners coming over here and raising the average IQ. I've never been especially patriotic anyway. I'm not rabidly anti-royal, just hahaha! that's ridiculous.Kings and Queens and Princes and Princesses. Grow up!
  2. There are definitely cultural differences between different countries. I think of stereotypes as being based on ignorance and stupidity, but that's just how I interpret the word. Cheese eating surrender monkeys. I like cheese, and monkeys. But yeah, there probably is some truth in there, even if it's overly generalised and often thoughlessly applied. Cultural differences mean that someone from that country might be more ... I guess it gets ugly when it's applied indescriminately. They aren't like us. I'm English. Some people voted for Brexit, the stupid cunts. They aren't like us. Us reads newspapers and books and have some understanding of statistics. Us wants to emmigrate because I'm worried that my fellow coutrymen/women are dumb as fuck. Have you seen our Prime Minister? Fucking twat. I'm really not mocking anyone from other countries because I can't. Our Prime Minister looks like a rejected muppet and Brexit has brought out the worst in English people. Not proud of my country.
  3. How can you worry about covid when every three months a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in North Queensland? Hoping you get the Bob Katter reference. Not that our politicians in merry old England aren't bat shit insane too. Best Australian impression. I'm not mocking. Stereotypes are funny but they aren't true. I'm always curious about what the stereotypes about English people are. Bowler hats and shit?
  4. I used the word "promulgate" in a sentence. I'm so fucking awesome.
  5. Have you considered sending dick pics? Don't! Nah you sound too intelligent to do such a thing. Be honest and be yourself. Hasn't worked for me because I am who I am. "Do you think that free will is an illusion and that farts are funny?" We aren't compatible. I am going to die alone. Why can't I find a woman who finds farts funnny?
  6. Upwards means what you said. Doesn't matter for men. We can smear it all over the place. I can wipe down, which is why we're superior 😜. I know you're intelligent to realise that that was a stupid joke, but I still feel the need to spell it out because I'm paranoid.
  7. @CerberusGood points. The male genatalia is of course external, and easier to notice. I was actually thinking about how many synonyms there are for men's bit's and pieces in comparison to women's. So many words for the same things. And I suspect that this is more than just not being able to see it. I don't know if anyone read it but I once wrote a blog about the 'C' word. Point I was trying to make with that is that the 'C' word is considered the worst word in the English language not because it expresses hatred towards women, but because pretty much all swear words are swear words because of the cultural taboo about sex, and the fact that this is considered the worst word is probably due to attitudes towards female sexuality. So it's a good thing to say cunt. Reclaim the word! Sorry. I did once see a quite strange video on The Guardian about this very subject of women and their genitals. It featured a woman confronting her mother, who was actually a gynaecologist. Her mother had told her absolutely nothing, but had just left textbooks lying around in the hope that she'd work it all out herself. And she broke down in tears talking to her mother because she'd never told her that she's supposed to wipe upwards. Even I know that. Her mother really could have made an effort to educate her. If the daughter of a gynaecologist can be so poorly informed then what hope has anyone else got? @aquarian I've heard about labiaplasty and the anxiety some women feel about how their vulva looks. I honestly don't think that most men really care. In my case I think I'd just feel too grateful to offer any criticism. I know it's not all about pleasing men, but the way woman try to live up to some ideal of perfection, which doesn't really exist, seems pretty awful. I find vaginas quite beautiful. Not sounding at all creepy by saying that. No, no, no. I'm sounding really creepy aren't I? Aesthetically I mean. Yeah that makes me sound intellectual. But speaking as a colossal weirdo and creep I don't think innie/outie or your pubic hairstyle really matters. I meant to say something nice there but I'm worried that I just committed a #metoo moment. As I often feel the need to say on here - my intentions were good but my words were probably shit.
  8. I'm probably going to sound annoyingly positive because I've recently started to come out of a deeply depressed mood. I'll try not to sound annoying. I know how irritating it is to hear shit like "why don't you look on the bright side?" I know that you really can't when you feel that low. Yes kittens are cute but then there's the horror of existence. As great as kittens are they don't seem enough. One thing I always feel when I'm at my lowest is that this the truth, and things will never get any better. They can be better, although say that to me when I'm depressed and I might tell you to go fuck yourself. I've had depression since a young age and I still deal with it badly. Meditate, exercise, talk to people, stay away from alcohol. Is what I should do. Or drink too much and go through my music library listening to all the most depressing songs I have. Not really a choice. Slipknot and beer every time. But I'm an idiot. So this is all terrible advice but I do think I know how you feel.
  9. I didn't go in the end. I used to go to these talks with a friend who I've just got back into contact with, but she's getting over having Covid at the moment (vaccinated but it probably still sucks) and couldn't attend. Without meaning to sound pervy it is something I'm interested in. I've heard about how a lot of women are quite ignorant about their bodies and I wonder what the explanation of this is. Failure of the education system? Social taboo? There was a study a while back where women visiting a gynaecologist were given a questionaire which included labelling the parts. A lot of woman were completely clueless. It's odd to me as a man because all men are intimately familiar with their genitals. Maybe too familiar. That can make you blind (no it can't). But I know there's often the thing of seeing men as the default. A while back I saw a medical diagram of a breast. Nothing sexy about it. It showed the milk ducts. But why haven't I seen such an image before? Only 50% of the population. And I was interested in what she might have said about this.
  10. Oh God no! It is odd that I can be so rational in other ways. Show me the evidence! But then "everyone hates me". Who? When? What am I basing this on? But maybe I'm right. I am right! I might have skipped something there. Like logic. Not good enough when talking about whether the earth is flat or whether ghosts exist. The earth is round and there's no such thing as ghosts and my existence isn't offensive to most people. I haven't met most people. Some people like Trump and Johnson, so there's probably someone out the who's stupid enough to like me. I go to talks by the skeptics society, because I am interested in science and rational thought. They're holding their first talk in person for months tomorrow, and I asked people from my psychology course if they were interested in going. I don't really know anyone well because our lectures have been online, but I was asking if anyone wanted to go to this talk with me. The talk is called "The vagina mystery". Occured to me that I'm asking people who I don't know very well and haven't met in person, most of whom are women, whether they want to go to a talk about vaginas with me. That's a bit weird isn't it? I mentioned that this might seem a bit weird and they laughed. Everyone hates me! Nah they don't.
  11. True. Might have been my fault. Thought I was being helpful saying that they are more afraid of you than you are of them. In hindsight that's pretty weak advice. Sorry Simba, my intentions were good, it was just the words which let me down, as always.
  12. I'm probably over the worst of it. It comes and goes unpredictably. Or maybe not so unpredictable. When I isolate myself I feel worse. I've gotten back in contact with a couple of friends. Thought I'd ruined everything and that they hate me. Nah. You don't hate me? Why not? Me alone is a bad idea. I just turn on myself. But then I assume that I'm shit and everyone hates me anyway. Why burden anyone with my shit? And I need other people in order to be something other than a miserable piece of shit. See! They don't hate you! But my instinct is isolation, because they probably hate me anyway and blah blah blah. Flat earth. Who hates me? Well there are some people on youtube ... Who hates me whose opinion I care about? It's so fucking difficult though. Can't think anything good about myself but sometimes put on a false show of arrogance because that's how you're meant to feel I imagine. This comment needs some sort conclusion.
  13. I'm not afraid of spiders because I live in the UK. In Australia? Jesus christ! The wildlife is either incredibly cute or fucking terrifying. Quokkas are the cutest animals ever. But you've also got the house centipede. The word 'house' bothers me there. They might be small but they make up for that by being hideous. Small spiders I can deal with. But aussies are like "You call that a spider? This is a spider". The barking spider sitting on your toilet seat. Well I thought I needed the toilet but turns out I've already shit myself. It's not all cute things like quokkas and kangaroos, there's scary things like huntsman spiders, crocodiles and Bob Katter (not sure if that reference is out of date. Used to talk to someone from the land down under but I don't really know what's going on now. Has Pauline Hanson fucked the fuck off yet?).
  14. Brighton in the South of England? Nah there's no dangerous spiders in England. They're afraid of you. Imagine being a tiny spider and seeing you towering over them. They're shitting it and there's nothing to be afraid of.
  15. Fair point. In between projectile vomiting black blood and bleeding from your arsehole when do notice that you have blood in your semen? That's got to be a challenging wank. When I had the vaccine my arm ached a bit.
  16. I've seen a counsellor for years and she has helped me a lot. However bad I sound now I used to be a lot worse, and she's done a lot to make me at least functional. I'll always appreciate that but I was thinking of stopping seeing her even before the lockdown. Though I do feel guilty that I haven't said goodbye properly. Couldn't have come this far without her, but not sure I can go any further with her. I probably lied to her because I didn't want to disappoint her. God but I'm doing fine really. Just don't appreciate it. Things to feel proud of. I got 85/100 for my essay on gender development. I gave a best man speech at my brother's wedding in front of a lot of people (didn't mention AIDS). All things I never thought I was capable of doing. Why can't you feel proud of yourself you fucking arsehole?
  17. Not criticising or trying to drag you into an argument, but there really shouldn't be anything political about this. But you're right that there is, and that's stupid I think.
  18. I was talking about life there rather than suicide. Quite a miserable thing to say anyway so no wonder you misunderstood what I meant. The idea that I have nothing to lose by trying if the alternative is suicide. So might as well give life a go. But I don't know what it will take. My life is objectively better than it was several years ago - I go out, I'm less afraid of talking to people, and I have some sort of goal to aim at. And yet still miserable sometimes. I might feel better in a month or so. Uni starts again and I'll have something better to occupy my mind with. I think I mentioned somewhere how my encounter with mental health services led nowhere. Dysthemia is a guess, but an educated guess I hope. Never quite crazy enough for a straight jacket (or, never overtly crazy enough to get help. Although it really should have been fucking obvious to my family that I needed help on ocassions) but it's been enough to make a mess of my life. I do wonder if there's really any way undo all the damage. One of the problems of long term depression is that this is my normal. Mental health professionals often talk about getting back to how you used to be, but there is no normal happy me to aim for. Never happened. It's unexplored territory and being miserable is more comfortable and familiar. But I hate it. I don't like being so numb and so self-obsessed in a destructive way. Numbness worries me because I don't think I care about anyone sometimes, including myself, and this leads to self-loathing, which is just more self-obsession. And I probably should be saying all this to a mental health professional.
  19. It did have that effect on me, but only because the nurse was very attractive. Not sure if that joke sounds too creepy. I didn't really get an erection. And I'd use the metric system anyway, which is a more rational system of measurement but sounds less impressive. Several centimetres? There was an American guy who nearly died of Covid. They asked him if he still opposes vaccination. He did, because he didn't want to give in to the agenda of the health care professionals. Erm ... that's the agenda which wants to make sure you don't die? But we have such morons in the UK too. There was a protest yesterday which led to several protesters and police getting injured. A lot of people seem to feel passionately about this issue, but I've yet to hear a rational argument. Doesn't help that some people want to compare vaccination to the treatment of Jews in Nazi Germany. Where the fuck did that come from? Oh do tell me more. You've already demonstrated that you have no knowledge of history, so let's see how you do with science. Common sense isn't it?
  20. God the stuff you hear people come out with. 5G! Bill Gates! There was a British anti-vaxxer who yelled that it will "kill you and make you impotent." In that order? I don't know what it is now. People overdosing on horse wormers because that somehow makes more sense? They're using fetuses to make the vaccine for some reason. Are they? I saw a video of some idiot harassing some people, and they asked how he knew that they're using fetuses in the vaccine. "Common sense" he replied. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, have you thought about what you just said? Do you feel fucking stupid yet? Why not? That's common sense? I've had two jabs of the Pfizer vaccine and it's turned me into a miserable and depressing bastard. Oh! And I now have legs like a goat and a penis like a jellyfish. I did just google "jellyfish penis" and it turns out that it's complicated. But that didn't happen anyway. Crazy? Yeah probably. Stupid? Maybe, but not that fucking stupid.
  21. Dysthymia is my best guess. Not as dramatic as other forms of depression for the most part but can lead to double depression. Used to mention schizoid as my DX. Sort of fits in many ways but the symptoms can be explained in other ways and I'm probably not a schizoid. Or am I? Anyway, fucked up upbringing, anxiety, isolation, loneliness, self-loathing, attachment issues. Low-key crazy. Had to seek out help myself because nobody seemed to notice. I was seeing a counsellor regularly before the lockdown but haven't seen her since last year. Been a difficult summer for a number of reasons. Not going to kill myself. Yet. Thing is, when situations actually work out well, and you don't know how to reconcile that with the fucked up opinion you have of yourself. I don't know. It's sort of embarassing to go on about suicide when I'm not going to do it. It is how I feel sometimes though. Best I can do is think that yes it is all hopeless, so I can't disappoint myself and might as well give it a go.
  22. I can't shake the thought of suicide. I thought I was over this shit. But it comes back. I don't need talking off the edge, and I'm not going to do it right now. Just hard to imagine an alternative. Things will get better, just wait, and try. I might feel different in a month. It always seems like the truth at the time though. Don't trust your feelings. Well what the fuck am I supposed to trust then?
  23. Well this is going to be miserable. I've been trying to think of which song best represents depression. Some slow sad acoustic song? No, fuck you! Oh why am I so sad and lonely? Not that. Anger and fucking pain. Sorry. I am sounding awful aren't I? Get to the point. Fucking prick. This song.
  • Create New...