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About echolocation

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    boy handsome

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    painting/drawing (watercolour and inks), comics, writing (poetry and short stories), accounting

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  1. being at work is really weird when you know you're leaving in a few days. have felt weepy most of the day.
  2. have you dealt with absence of sexual attraction in the past at all? the degree of sexual interest that you have does tend to fluctuate based on how much stress you're dealing with, whether you're depressed or not, hormones, and plenty of other things. you may just be in a bit of a trough right now, if you think of attraction as a wavelength. re: the celebrity thing -- i think it's a lot easier to feel attracted to celebrities because it's part of their job to look attractive. you don't see any of their less desirable features, because we pretty much only see them when they're dolled up. i kind of think that in a way, attraction to celebrities is less about finding the person attractive and more about finding the concept that they represent attractive, if that makes sense. plenty of actors (for example) get their roles by filling a visual type -- sexy redhead, dashing and brooding loner, manic pixie dreamgirl. also, sexual attraction to real people has higher stakes. how do you go about acting on that attraction? what do you say? when will you meet up? it's more work, for one thing, and you have a real person's feelings at stake. in my personal experience, my constantly slightly-depressed brain tends to write off the whole thing as more trouble than it's worth. but, take that with a grain of salt, because i'm not super interested in relationships in the first place. i tend to blame the OCPD for that, since it comes with intimacy difficulties as part of the bundle. so! i guess all i really mean to say is that i have low sexual attraction, and this is my reasoning for why. it'll be interesting to hear your therapist's theory.
  3. i haven't had a lot of luck with SSRIs. escitalopram put me in a fog, and sertraline made my obsessive thoughts worse. i was constantly counting my steps. did boost my mood, though.
  4. i'm in BC, and because I don't make much money, pharmacare covers my meds entirely (except when i was on abilify, but i think that's because it was brand name). pdoc visits also don't cost me anything. i think i'm lucky. on the other hand, i pay entirely out of pocket for therapy, so that sort of evens the scale.
  5. rather miserable and dramatic. there's no light! no good people! no end to the darkness! oh, drink your coffee and buck up, echo. nobody likes a whiner.
  6. feel like curling in on myself. it's all too much.
  7. not great. i have to tell my boss i'm quitting tomorrow. stressful. scary. i've got three band-aids on my toes because i picked at them until they bled. i feel like i'm coming apart at the seams.
  8. my boss told me this morning not to bring buppy to work anymore. he said she tore up the packaging on a set of garage doors before i left on friday. i'm really upset and fighting back tears.
  9. nice to meet you! gorgeous pup. i think you'll both fit in quite well. :^)
  10. are you saying that you haven't tried taking more than one dose? your pdoc is right in that some side effects that pop up when you start a med go away with time. SSRIs need more time to work than one day, though i have heard of folks having a bad reaction right off the bat. do you cry all day after taking a dose, or is it just for a while? is there any chance that the crying is coming from anxiety about starting a new medication? just wondering, seeing that taking your benzo seems to help, though i see that that's not a feasible route to take given that it puts you to sleep. based on your signature, is it correct to assume that you're trying to control OCD symptoms with the SSRI?
  11. granted! the cats have meticulously licked all the hair and dirt off your carpets, and wiggled their furry bodies around your objects like a living feather duster. dinner is on the table, and it's several large grasshoppers and a songbird captured from the backyard, with a little butter on the side, of course. what? you don't like your meal? i wish the cat at my office would come and sit on my lap.
  12. granted! you now have six legs that allow you to run as fast as a car. your shoe expense triples, and pants are out of the question, as they no longer fit your unique shape. you are doomed to wear large, flowing skirts that get in the way of your speedy legs, or finding a very good tailor. i wish i could stop picking at my cuticles.
  13. have had some self-harm thoughts floating about for about 24 hours now. i'm working on noticing them, acknowledging them, and knowing i don't have to act on them.
  14. @Unstrung Harp i hope you feel better tomorrow. sometimes a couch day is necessary.
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