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About echolocation

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    boy handsome

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    painting/drawing (watercolour and inks), comics, writing (poetry and short stories), accounting

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  1. hi, welcome back! i don't know but i've seen your name in old posts. glad to have you back aboard.
  2. @chem funny, a friend of mine sent me a video of him trying to cut his own hair and royally fucking it up. something about being alone for too long that makes people think about cutting their hair.
  3. needing to be right, black and white thinking and being rigid/set in your ways is all textbook OCPD. the ego in thinking you know more than the therapist is also found in OCPD. i'm not saying for sure that your diagnosis is right, but as someone with OCPD, i see a lot of myself in what you've written. it's also typical of OCPD to feel as though different approaches to doing things or different perspectives on an issue are by default worse than what you already do/think. therapy works best if you can put some trust in what your therapist is telling you, even if it sounds like a bunch of baloney. chances are, if your experience with therapists is that they all end up saying things that piss you off, there's probably a good reason that you're defensive about it. either way, the fact that something they said made you resentful is actually a good thing to bring up to your therapist, because it'll probably help you and the therapist to know why you have such a strong reaction. go deep into why you think you're right or why you think they're wrong, and listen to their response. i do get where you're coming from. i've found that OCPD gives me a sort of feeling of omnipotence -- just because i think or feel something must mean it's right or true. i get into arguments with people because they feel differently than me, and after some debate, it usually turns out that i don't have much to back up my argument besides "i think i'm right". learning to stomp down your ego and consider that others may know as much or more than you is difficult to do, but it is essential in learning to identify distorted thinking. a big part of therapy for me is saying "i think/feel this; do you think it's reasonable?" and really listening when the response is "no, that doesn't make sense". it's also worth noting that there are few issues that have fundamentally right or wrong answers. everything is a spectrum, and everything is subjective. someone feeling differently than you doesn't automatically mean you're right or wrong. you just have different thoughts. it's important to learn to tolerate the idea that different opinions can be right for different reasons. "and" is a powerful word here. i'm right and she's right. i am right in some ways and wrong in others. i am wrong and i'm still knowledgeable. my OCPD partially developed because as a child, being smart was one of the only things i was ever praised for. it lead me to think that i know more/better than other people, and that if i'm wrong or don't know, i'm worthless. sometimes that can come out as resentment or anger as a defense mechanism. i don't want to be worthless, so i have to prove that i'm right. that may not ring true for you and your experience, but if you feel that you always have to be right, consider that you may be protecting yourself from being wrong. what does being wrong feel like for you? what do you think it says about you? you don't have to answer that here, but do think about it. being wrong shouldn't severely impact your self-worth or feel devastating. therapy is the most effective treatment for PDs. i owe a lot of my own insight to therapy. if you can find a way to make it work for you, you can see huge benefit.
  4. i did a few crossword puzzles today too. a friend and i started getting really into them together. i miss doing them with her.
  5. i also had a shower today! i'm notoriously bad at showering regularly, even when i'm feeling okay. i even cut my nails, which i had been procrastinating on for oh, weeks. i also cleaned my disgusting bathroom that i was complaining about in another thread. tomorrow: 1. sweep, dust and tidy art room (should i break that into three goals?) 2. go for a walk 3. laundry would be a good idea i washed it and hung it out to dry, but not everything's dry yet. guess that's on for tomorrow. what cookies are you making, gear?
  6. i love kitties and i ESPECIALLY love kitties hiding places. thank you for this great link, my mum and i really enjoyed. :^)
  7. @mikl_pls a friend and i were joking the other day that Animal Crossing was made for people with depression.
  8. @dancesintherain working from home is harder i think than working in an office/workplace. it's hard to get your brain to switch from home mode to work mode. i think it's completely reasonable that your brain is tired.
  9. @Gearhead i think having an outlet to channel nervous energy into right now is a real life-saver for a lot of folks.
  10. i made gnocchi from scratch yesterday. and i've been replaying a really old video game i liked a lot as a kid. it's a lot easier as an adult. i really need to clean my bathroom, but ughhhhhh i just do not want to at all. some days i get a lot done, some days i browse the web and nap. it's okay. it's ebb and flow.
  11. is anyone else having a non-reaction to the pandemic? i don't mean not taking it seriously -- i've been keeping up with the news, social distancing, self isolating, and only going out for essentials. i understand the severity of what's going on. i just don't seem to have any kind of emotional reaction. i feel like my brain has put me on autopilot so i don't freak out. sometimes at night while i'm trying to fall asleep, i worry. but during the day i feel fine. i think it'll hit me later, emotionally. in the past i've had delayed responses to upsetting situations/trauma. i'm showing some physical signs of stress, like excessive skin picking, an increased desire to hide and sleep all day, and lousy concentration. i just don't really feel anything. wondering if anyone else is feeling this way.
  12. we've been told no social gatherings right now. for the sake of everyone's health, but particularly those at risk like your mother-in-law, it's best to stay home. you're not being overly cautious at all -- you're doing exactly what officials have told us to do.
  13. I got hit the exact same way at first. It was debilitating for a few days. Stare at nothing, refuse food debilitating. i keep thinking about my last semester of university, where i was isolating myself quite severely. it's weird to be doing the same thing again by no choice of my own. thanks, both of you, for articulating why it's been on my mind.
  14. i finished the friendship bracelet yesterday and made a paracord bracelet today. my mom has a stash of paracord that she picked up ages ago. she likes hoarding craft materials. considering making a paracord dog leash next. this need to make things with my hands has bubbled up out of nowhere. i shared a pic of the friendship bracelet on instagram and got a concerned message from someone i used to know asking about the old self-harm marks on my wrist. sigh.
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