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About echolocation

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    boy handsome

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    painting/drawing (watercolour and inks), comics, writing (poetry and short stories), accounting

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  1. i switch it up every few years, but i'm really into Vans right now. do you wear any jewelry regularly?
  2. cloth! i do keep some paper napkins in my car, though. you never know when you might need them. do you snore?
  3. it sounds like your brain is telling you some really upsetting and distressing things. when i fuck up at work, it takes a lot for me to resist the urge to run away and hide and never see my boss again. in the OCPD brain, nothing is worse than failure or mistakes. there is no room for anything like that, and if you've made a mistake, you're worthless, horrible, and everyone hates you. OCPD's favourite trick is making you think that you've failed other people, when in fact, you've only failed yourself. you are the only one who takes your mistake as seriously as you do. our brains are not reliable narrators of our own lives. if a coworker had made the same mistake, would you find it reasonable for him to quit because of it? should he agonize over it all night? no, but you should, because it's different for you. sike! it's not different for you. you deserve the same understanding and compassion as anyone else in your workplace. mistakes happen. the most productive thing we can do when we make a mistake is do our best to fix it and try to learn something from it. plus, it would be awful for your employer to lose a good worker like you just because of a common mistake. meds have really helped me calm myself down after making mistakes. without effective medication, i have a very difficult time reassuring myself that things are actually okay. it's hard to break the spiral of rethinking your mistake over and over and over. i usually end up totally frozen with fear (breathing exercises help a tiny bit with this). sometimes i'm able to climb out of the hole by listing what the consequences of my mistake are, what's required to fix it, and whether the consequences are long-term or short-term. it's almost always a short-term thing, because the mistakes i make are often fairly insignificant anyway, but to me they seem big. talking to others about my mistake helps a little too. if they agree that it's not a big deal, it's a little easier to believe that myself. i'm glad you're taking some time off work. i hope your medication helps you. i know how awful it is to be so sick and tired of the way you are. you deserve to feel better than this.
  4. yeah, covid's hitting my anxiety too. i also have a GAD dx, along with my obsessive stuff. social distancing has caused me to feel more isolated, which means that i ruminate more. i've been especially paralyzed about what my future is going to look like, which my tdoc suggests is a reaction to all the uncertainty that covid has brought about. covid in general has made me feel less secure, which has been coming out in various meltdowns about what am i going to do with my life, my degree is useless, i'm a failure, etc etc. so yeah, covid has made me more readily anxious about the general workings of my life.
  5. i have an inner voice. sounds like my own voice, and it dictates all of my thoughts and actions. i talk to myself quite a lot in my head. i can think in pictures, but it's less natural to me than verbal thinking. i used to write a lot of fiction as a kid/teen, but i fell out of the habit in university. i sometimes pick up an old fragment of a story and add onto it, but not with the ferocity i had in high school. i consider my writing ability to be strong. i draw and stuff too, but it's hard for me to work from images in my head. i need references.
  6. my obsessive brain has fully latched onto the weeknd. i'm devouring starboy.
  7. every day for like, two weeks has been half sun, half clouds/rain. it just refuses to be nice.
  8. seconding this. even at my 0.75 mg dose, i started lactating after couple years.
  9. good luck, dances. hope you feel better soon.
  10. i was on a small dose of risperidal for a couple years, and it was pretty weight neutral for me.
  11. i am so irritable lately. what on earth is my problem?
  12. my pdoc also recommended sleep hygiene to me when i was having trouble with being agitated at night, but honestly, meds have been the answer for me. here's stuff i've tried. no screens an hour before bed - no difference boring myself to sleep with crosswords - somewhat effective in calming me down, but i'd get frustrated by the more obscure clues cleaning room before bed - pleasant, but ineffective only using bedroom for sleep - no different than when i lived in my bedroom deep calm breathing - this got me through nightly panic attacks a few years ago, but it was not pleasant white noise - pretty helpful. rain sounds are my favourite, but i sleep better with any ambient noise (traffic, fan, etc) than with no noise keeping a low light on in the room - somewhat helpful. pleasant either way long wind-down routine - somewhat helpful
  13. clomipramine has been great for stopping intrusive thoughts for me. low-dose risperidone also helped when i was taking it, but i had to quit due to side effects.
  14. i did a yoga practice for the first time in like, a year and a half. i've definitely lost some flexibility. it was good, though. i remember all the things i liked and disliked about it. i'd like to start doing it more regularly again.
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