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    painting/drawing (watercolour and inks), comics, writing (poetry and short stories), accounting

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  1. interesting, thanks everyone for sharing! @aquarian, most dentists in my area won't do them. usually people get referred to an oral surgeon in the big city 1.5 hours away. there are a few who can do it closer, but some of them can only numb you for the procedure -- there's different licensing required to be fully sedated. i have no extended dental coverage, so if the time comes that i need them out, it'll be fully out of pocket. obviously i'm very thankful that they haven't caused me any trouble thus far.
  2. marijuana is legal recreationally where i live, but i use it exclusively before going to bed as a sleep aid and brain relief when i'm getting stuck in spirals or feel really overwhelmed. it works for me. what symptoms are you trying to address?
  3. i got my first one! almost cried in the waiting area because there were post-it notes covering the walls with things people wanted to do when social distancing rules lift. stuff like "see my girlfriend in ontario", "hug my grandkids", "visit my mom", "go out with the boys", "see the world". it just felt like a really nice display of humanity. maybe things will be okay. arm hurt for a couple days after. naproxen helped a lot.
  4. just something i've been thinking about lately, probably because my coworker is getting hers out on monday. the one on my upper right side came through a couple years ago, and i just noticed that my lower right side is beginning to erupt too. i'm overdue for a dental appointment, so i'll probably have them looked at/get new x-rays soon for good measure, but they've never caused me any pain or inflammation. my orthodontist told me to have them pulled when i was a teenager, and then a dentist i saw a few years later told me there was nothing wrong with them, and they didn't have to be pulled. so i don't know! i'm just glad they don't hurt -- my coworker has had an awful time with them lately. so, do you have any/all of yours, or did you get them yanked?
  5. i dont take the meds you do, but i do use weed for nighttime brain relief and take meds. i'm on clomipramine 175 mg for OCD and also am diagnosed with GAD. cannabis is legal recreationally where i am (canada). i have a couple of tokes 2-3 times a week right before going to sleep. i have a history of getting agitated and upset right before going to sleep. weed distracts me when i get like that and allows me to sleep. indica works better for me than sativa. i can also achieve the same effect with zopiclone (prescribed PRN for sleep by pdoc), and alternate between the two so i don't overuse either. personally what i try to be concious of with cannabis use is what feeling i'm trying to run from by getting stoned. weed doesn't help me if i feel sad or lonely, and it doesn't stop self harm urges. it does work for breaking obsessive spirals, and it works for a symptom i get where i'm afraid to go to bed. keeping a log of how i feel on nights where i smoke weed is helpful for me. it's worth bringing up to your doctor that you're have problems relaxing. maybe a small med tweak is in order.
  6. i get mine in a week. today i drove out to the place i'm getting it so i don't get lost on the actual date. i have a septum ring and use my lips to play with it a lot. it looks pretty silly, but with a mask on no one can see. i kind of like that. @Cerberus thanks for the tip about tylenol. i think being compared to data is a compliment. he's my favourite from TNG. once as a kid i had a boy call me the "mother of spock" because i was quite deadpan and serious in school. i always liked that, even though canonically it's a nonsensical insult because she's human.
  7. why the fuck am i sad? it's my day off and i even have another day off tomorrow and on top of that i even have something SOCIAL planned! why do i feel empty? this happens on my weekend every time, no matter if i fill it with things to do or leave it empty. it's stupid.
  8. this thread has been a wild fucking ride. thank you to Cerberus and Mia for reigning it in. we all deserve better than to be insulted in one of the few places we get to discuss our experiences candidly. @Hopelessly Broken i hope you're doing okay. your experiences are important to share, and your viewpoint is valuable.
  9. @sugarsugar thyme is a great suggestion! thank you! i think something like that would work really nicely. pet death just feels different than human death. in a lot of ways it's harder to come to terms with.
  10. thank you, rabbit. there are lots of shrubs in the little garden he's buried in. i'm not sure there's space for another plant -- maybe something small. his grave couldn't be very deep due to all the roots in the ground there, so i'm afraid of disturbing him if i went to plant something there. he really liked hiding in the foliage there, so i think it's a good place for him. it was a hard day today. as it gets warmer and the flowers bloom, i miss him. cried a bunch about it in therapy. my best friend is worried that i am not recovering from this, but my therapist says this is just a part of the wax and wane of grieving. i don't know. i'm glad to have zopiclone to deflect the nighttime obsessing over his last days and moments. death is so hard and it's just painful.
  11. i totally agree with you. i am not autistic, though in having this viewpoint i often find myself feeling isolated from folks i know irl. i've found much more peace and fulfillment as a solitary unit than in relationships.
  12. i also find romantic relationships an impossibility due to the way my MI manifests itself. i can't stomach most physical touch and have a terrible time with emotional intimacy because i think too much. i have no ability to be spontaneous and i can't say anything emotional without literal weeks of thinking about it. even then, i usually have to text because i can't get the words out in person. i have a difficult enough time telling my family i love them, let alone friends or anyone else. most of that i attribute to OCPD. intimacy problems are noted in OCPD and i'm basically a testament to that. on the OCD/anxiety side of my dx, i can't stomach anything remotely sexual in real life because it triggers horrible intrusive thoughts that plague me for weeks/months (sexual content in books/movies/etc doesn't bother me at all -- i just can't handle anything that involves people i know, including myself). as a teenager trying out romantic stuff, i used to physically shake when people touched me. i think back sometimes to a guy i was a bit involved with when i was 17 and i just have to shake my head. i was such a basket case (unmedicated, which didn't help). it also takes me years to warm up to people. i don't make new friends easily, and when i do they don't stick. i just don't put effort into maintaining relationships if i feel they're transient. it's difficult enough to keep up with the friends in my inner circle who i've known for almost 10 years. i don't talk a lot about my relationships with my pdoc or tdoc, but i consider that whole area of my social ability to be quite dysfunctional. right now i am not attempting to make new friends or romantic opportunities, and i don't think that'll change soon. it keeps my life a lot less stressful. i am occasionally lonely but i'm much more stable with fewer people in my life. oh yeah, also, i'm very competent in my current job. i'm considered a key person in the management team where i work and expect to be there for the foreseeable future barring any catastrophes. i appear very functional, but it doesn't take much digging to see my social life is nonexistent.
  13. that sounds like a nice place for your poodle to be released. i'm in canada too. i know there's a vet near me who does private cremations, which i guess implies that they also do mixed cremations where you don't get the ashes back at the end. we did that when my dog died a couple months before. i think if i could go back and do it again, i'd have him cremated, even if i couldn't get the ashes back. i doubt they'd run the incinerator for such a small creature by himself. but i'm just speculating. it's such a deep wound, isn't it? i'm sorry you know it as well.
  14. frustrated from messing around with a computer problem for an hour. solved it, but still pissed off.
  15. complicated is all good, yarn. it's good that everyone has something comfy to hide in.
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