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About echolocation

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    painting/drawing (watercolour and inks), comics, writing (poetry and short stories), accounting

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  1. i had a tetanus shot when i was uh, 13 or 14. it's standard for grade nine students here. so i'm good for another few years. how clean is your kitchen right now?
  2. @DammitJanet i tend to use this thread as a bit of a soliloquy space too, dj. don't feel bad about posting your thoughts. i'm glad you've got a lead on what's been putting you through hell lately. i also wanted to say that i hope the construction isn't too bad today. ongoing noises like that make me insanely irritable, so you and abby have my sympathy. @Blahblah i hope you have a better day tomorrow, bad brain and migraine is a lot to deal with. @jt07 how's the leg doing? and as for me, i feel pretty decent. i see a new tdoc today, so i'm... excited? that might be a strong word, but i'm looking forward to it, anyhow.
  3. welcome to CB, didi! i'm afraid i don't know much about the medication side of things, but i wanted to say that you've come to the right place. it sounds like you've really been through the wringer. i'll call our local med experts @mikl_pls and @browri to the table. i do want to say that with regards to the edible, edibles can be quite strong and the effects can last hours. plus, there's a chance it can make your anxiety worse, which weed does do to some people. i know you're looking for medication advice, but how is your sleep hygiene? limiting your screen time before bed, making sure the room is cool and clean, and having a proper bedtime routine can all help to some degree with falling asleep. i don't mean to minimize your issues, as i do know how impossible anxiety can make sleeping. do you have any kind of emotional release? keeping a journal (of any kind, be it book or blog or random notes on your phone) or talking to a therapist (tdoc) can really help with settling swirling thoughts. do you have friends/family who you can talk to about what you've been going through? you can make it to june 4th. you've made it this far, and i know you can endure until then. i encourage you to keep posting here in the meantime, and update us after you see the pdoc. sending strength your way.
  4. anxious. phoned a counselling centre about seeing someone who can deal with ocd stuff. someone is supposed to phone me back, but i don't know when. i hate not having a time frame for stuff like this.
  5. hi guys, happy thursday. i'm struggling a lot right now with acknowledging that all the MI stuff i've experienced is real. i keep thinking that the years where i was suicidal were no biggie. i'm forcing myself to remember that strong, constant suicidal ideation is not something that someone who's not MI experiences. i don't experience it anymore, and it's hard to believe i ever did. it's hard to believe that i used to shake with anxiety. it's hard to believe that i used to change clothes four times before i could start doing work because it didn't feel "right". in a way i have some envy for you that are older and know more about your MI and how it manifests. this is all still so new to me. i haven't felt this good in probably five years. i don't know how long i can expect this stability to last. i'm enjoying it, but i'm scared it means that i made up all the shit i went through. have you ever had periods of stability? how long have they lasted for you? is your MI better now than it was when you were younger, or has it gotten worse? also, do you struggle with denial? lots of questions, sorry. hope you're all well.
  6. i never have anything very personal as my desktop background. my work computer is a slideshow of cat photos and my laptop has a slideshow of rain photos. i just google something like "rain desktop backgrounds" and pick the ones i like best. who is the last person you talked to?
  7. i might be a little under, but yes, i think i do, mostly. how are you feeling physically today?
  8. pretty good, but i have a painful, monster zit brewing on my chin, one of those really red angry ones that doesn't come to a head. i'm grumpy about it. also @jt07, how's it feel to have hit 22,000 posts?
  9. i don't know, but i find myself afraid for the future a lot these days. i'm afraid of how things could get worse. i wonder why it's happening too and all i can blame it on is greed. maybe technology has given us better ways to weaponize greed now, or spread it faster. what was the first place you lived after you moved out from your family home?
  10. feeling pretty good. i get to help with a garage door install at work today, which should be fun.
  11. raise your hand if your back hurts. :angry:

    1. Unstrung Harp

      Unstrung Harp

      Now that you mention it...

    2. echolocation


      my lower back has been giving me the works lately! i think i'm on the mend, but jesus have i been stiff. hope yours is feeling better, harp.

  12. always, no matter how short the drive. one of my ocd fixations is preventable injuries. have you ever kept a journal, or do you keep one now?
  13. valued, appreciated. i was chatting to my coworker about our boss's weird antics as of late and i expressed that his bad mood has been hard to be around for me. coworker said, "don't quit. please don't quit." i wasn't thinking about quitting, but it was really nice to hear that i belong here.
  14. not good, very afraid. there is conflict between my boss and coworker, and my boss has been in a horrible mood for the last few days, and other people's bad moods scare me. they are family and i think the issue runs deeper than just work stuff. i'm trying to stay out of it, but my boss keeps talking to me about how he's going to have to hire someone new. i don't know if he'll go through with it, but i wish he wouldn't involve me in it.
  15. i have a bearded dragon!! his name is Finch. he's very sweet. are you good at word games?
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