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water

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About water

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    that's as maybe

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    out here somewhere

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  1. Wow. I was going to start a topic about group therapy but maybe this fits in this thread better. I just started group therapy a few weeks ago. And I hate it. Or mostly hate it. Not sure if I need to stick it out. Why does your therapist make it clear you would not benefit? I feel like all I do is support the other people in the group and when I fall apart, cry and share my issues, no one knows what to do. I left Mondays group feeling a helluva lot worse than when I arrived. I know some people in 'support' groups. I think they focus around more specific issues but I don't really see the main difference. In my group the facilitators are not much involved. Perhaps in the support groups the staff are more involved?
  2. Wow. great question. I THINK I would love to be a renown specialist. I beat myself up for NOT being a renowned specialist, but now that I am considering this questions, hmmm...not so easy. Some thoughts....a writer who goes around the world researching subjects for my next novel, an archeologist doing digs in the desert for ancient civilizations, a marine biologist investigating locations where old ships sunk or finding new species of fish....I see a trend here. lol. Travel, investigation, being outside. Definitely nothing involving meetings, being inside, labs. Perhaps an explorer finding locations of old Mayan, Inca civilizations in the jungles and mountains of Latin American. :-} Are you someone who does all the home repairs yourself or do you hire someone if possible?
  3. YES YES YES. lol. Switched to tea but now I am back to coffee. What is your goto food when you have no energy to cook a damn thing?
  4. Yes. But I used to plant so much more, this year a few zinnias, basil, tomatoes. that's it. Trying not judge myself. My garden is all over the place right now. So MANY WEEDS!! lol do you watch Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, HBO, etc. Which is your favorite?
  5. Definitely prefer the demon from hell in my bedroom. Not unlike my dreams already. A serial killer with a knife completely terrifies me. And to answer the other question. The weather in my area for the last few weeks has been magnificent. Cool and sunny. A perfect spring If you could magically go live in a movie, which one would it be? And why?
  6. Cats!!!😻 Do you clean your oven and if you do what do you use?
  7. How is possible that every possible task ahead seems completely insurmountable at 6 AM in the morning and then after another couple more hours sleep, it all looks doable. 

    1. ninetynine

      ninetynine

      It sounds like you need a certain amount of sleep to function well. Getting up at 6 is clearly not enough sleep.

       

    2. water

      water

      That’s true...But today I woke up at 6:30 and got so much done. My mindset was just in a really good place. I just think it’s more than the time. Some days are just....Like walking in stinky gooey  oil spills and others fly by like the wind. 

  8. Yep. More than one. Most memorable was hiking in the Sinai desert many many moons ago. I saw the burning bush. It was flowering LOL. What was your favorite vacation/trip ever?
  9. Basil, cilantro, garlic,… LOL. Can’t name just one. Do you sort your socks and wrap them up in a nice neat little packages?
  10. My bedroom. The walls are white with slightest hint of blue. If you had to choose one, would it be a cold snowy climate or hot and humid?
  11. Hi Dances! Sorry about the pre-d but it looks like some small changes may help. Just wanted to add: Diet Soda is really not good for you because of the sugar substitutes. Found this on web...”Diet soda has links to weight gain and metabolic syndrome, which can make diabetes worse or increase the risk of it developing. Some sweeteners in diet soda even cause insulin spikes in the blood which worsens insulin sensitivity over time and can eventually raise blood sugar levels.” You can make smoothies everyday. It’s very easy and quick. My girl takes them to work in large hard plastic cup with straw. I usually just use almond milk, frozen mangoes, berries (Costco has cheap frozen fruit), fresh fruit if I have, tablespoon almond butter for protein, water and little maple syrup which you could cut out. The advantage to home brewed smoothies is you KNOW exactly what’s in them. A friend puts in spirulina powder which was good. You can also add kale, spinach, rice or soy milk I used to use a regular blender which was fine but my girl complained about the pulp so I bought the original small Vita Mix on eBay. It works great! Just making the smoothie makes me happy. When that Vita Mix starts grinding I feel healthier lol
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  13. I'm pretty sure I have atypical depression though no one has ever given me that diagnosis. It just never manifested it's disgusting self like other people I know. I have MDD, but it does not, like you, last all day and also tends to get worse as the day goes on. And this time of year, with the darkness coming so early has been awful. But I usually wake up fine, though the last few years have been a bit different since my 27 year old marriage ended. Some mornings are bad but usually fine. My depression is triggered. For instance, on Saturday I drove my ex-husband to the airport at 5:30 am. He was going on a trip to California I was not invited to. A free trip. One paid by his stepmom, my former stepmom-in-law. I could not go to sleep the night before. I tossed and turned going over every instance of rejection in my oh too long life. Nervous about the alarm about to go off at any moment. I let him drive the car to the airport but I was silent the whole way, ruminating in my head rumbling through everything I could imagine talking about, feeling frozen and awful. Once there, he left with no goodbye and I went home and crashed all the way down to Hades Hell. I felt rejected, alone, awful, despairing. Climbed into bed and slept. Then later on the same day I played Pokemon Go. It was a community day and I was outside moving around for hours. I made sure to spend the first hour with people I know. I need to be connected to people. That always helps. I felt great, wonderful, alive and alert. When I am distracted, with other people who make me feel safe and wanted, I am fine. When I am alone, in my head, going thru all the supposed evils in my life and in the world, I can dive down into the rabbit hole. But sometimes it does not take much to drag me out. And often, it does not take much to push me back into purgatory. Last weekend my girl was home and she ALWAYS is a trigger. One evening all it took was her eating the french toast banana bread without offering me a bite. I went to bed annoyed upset and depressed. Kids are selfish. I know that. And she may not have realized I was looking forward to a bit of that sweet desert. But this awful place I went to was colored and tinged with my past. I can always tell when my mood is carrying with it past garbage baggage. I felt uncared for, discarded, back in my childhood home. Years ago I felt lucky that my depression did not last for days on end, but now....I feel different. It is a scary place to be knowing that a smell, a song, a phrase from a friends, an event, ANY FUCKING THING, can drag me down the rabbit hole snap, without any pre-warning. My meds help. Tremendously. Mostly with the getting out of bed part. But life is a landmine filled with bombs that can explode at any time. All I can do is stay in the moment, use the tools I've learned from Crazyboards, therapy, research, friends, to carry me along.One step at a time, one breath at a time.
  14. No, but I think I am the only person in my town taking it. lol. It took the pharmacy a while to get the med. It is expensive and a higher co-pay than the generic. Another option is to try the brand Wellbutrin. My pdoc used to write "medically necessary" on all my scripts. I don't know if it IS any different from the generic, but when I used to take Wellbutrin I only got the brand.
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