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About Igobihim

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    I get manic, when I do that I look for places on the internet to go and feel safe to be manic. I like hiking, I live near hiking trails. I love music, all of it, I default to metal. Cats, I love them. Technology, I like building my own rigs. Spiritual growth, may it be however the individual needs. I like to talk.

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  1. manic, been this way for too long, rooting my android. Risky behavior?

  2. I see. That must be painful. Having that memory of childhood sounds like that was wonderful and in the end it was gone. I'm sorry.
  3. It's good you track your mood and I am glad you told your wife. When you dip low and the suicidal planning thoughts come it might be a good time to invite your wife into that realm, tell her the plan and ask for accountability, maybe if you have it set for a two weeks on a Monday after work, then tell her that, request that day off from work and have your wife do the same, and instead of doing the plan you go out to lunch, take a walk, get ice cream cones and live your life with the good things. This is just a suggestion. My eMoods app tells me I am quite manic and have been for a good portion
  4. Off to work. In a pleasant mood. This bodes well.

  5. Agreed. These thoughts are dangerous though. Planning is my chain, I come up with them quickly and my symptomatology is acute onset so when I plan I could do it that night. I have four attempts. Two of them just didn't work. Two of the four got me hospitalized. One that failed that I had to lie about it because I was bloody and bruised and couldn't hide it. The other was done in my teens and I didn't tell anyone after. Very close to your examples there actually. The two that got me inpatient had plans and letters/blog posts that I post dated. Backing out is not an attempt
  6. Confused, I feel sad but I am full of energy and super irritable. Back is hurting.
  7. Me too. I mean in serious ways. Like let them writhe with the pedophiles and rapists.
  8. Agreed, religion does not equal morality, neither does claiming to believe. The good people are all around us, some of them are atheists, why would being an atheist make you a bad person? Well, according to the Christian Bible, you and I are gentiles, not God's chosen people. That's where the promise of God comes in through the person Jesus Christ. His promises are about redemption which we could not attain before Jesus. I won't go much further down that thought process, I have theories about Jesus and how salvation works. That is a heavy topic and it usually takes very open minds and ope
  9. I have to edit that. Because, I was referring to religious stance. I wasnt referring to your particular use of that stance. It is a completely valid thought. I am sorry if that was out of line.
  10. You didn't come off mean or condescending. I asked for any and all theories and beliefs. The original languages of the Bible are Hebrew, Aramaic and Koine Greek, from these original languages, the bible has been translated into 636 languages. The New Testament has been translated into 1442languages and portions of the Bible have been translated into 3,223 different languages. With that staggering amount of alterations on the original text you are bound to get misled somewhere. For people of faith who go by just the king's James version, they believe that's the truest tra
  11. Your MI should come first, if you feel stable enough for a relationship then you should accept your situation and come to peace with it. It would extremely unfair to a person to unload your lack of control of you MI on a potential mate. I would wait for them to know you better. Before sleeping together or getting serious you should sit that person down and explain the situation with your mental health. If the person can accept the MI then they may be more accepting of you as a whole person, some people don't want to deal with that in their lives. If that becomes the case then what you have do
  12. The longer you wait the more you will regain yourself. I am assuming, but from experience, you have now witnessed a traumatic experience, you are the victim. This is already on the table. From what I know this trama can manifest behaviors and thoughts that remove you from your core. Maybe you don't like being alone, maybe you think it's the best that it gets, maybe you think the abuse wasn't that bad. Maybe there is love in the ether around your mind. Whatever the case is you have not returned, this bodes well. Abusive people can change, with help and distance, if they don't change without you
  13. My son is 9 and is extremely wild spirited. His school brought in a representative for kids with special needs and disabilities. They sat us down and showed us this huge packet that had all these topics rated from 1-10. His mother had done a similar packet for home behaviors. After a long discussion and comparison of the two packets. The lady said he has ODD and needs to have special treatment in class and on assignments. I was perturbed, but listened to what they were saying. He has very emotional outbursts and yelling, screaming and throwing or kicking objects all around the house
  14. I am not asking advice for my daughter on her health. I am already investing some time into her mental health. We have a psychiatrist for her and she has been showing signs that her mental health needs monitoring. I have many years now of inpatient and outpatient care. So, I can implement some of those skills and coping mechanisms into my parenting plan. Don't worry everything she says to her doc stays with them unless she feels comfortable telling me. I will describe how we got to the point that I need to help monitor her moods as a precaution because she doesn't do that as of now
  15. I know you are asking mom's, I hope you don't mind me chiming in. I am a father, my daughter is 13. I have been a stay at home parent for three years. I have noticed that this is the age where their feet are on the line of taking personal responsibility, making her choices, and leaving the child behind. I have noticed this transition from child to young teen required a little bit of transition in me too. I had to let her exercise her free will with me offering wisdom and reinforcing the foundation I hope I instilled in her while she was still in dependant child mode. I watched as she fru
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