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  1. That’s funny that this thread has been revived. I haven’t been on here in a long time, just lurk from time to time. I’m doing a lot better in my recovery, still sober from DXM, no urges. I’ve even quit smoking weed (It was medical but still) and am tapering off my benzo. Boston girl, definitely what helped me was reminding myself all the stuff about it that was miserable... which was more than what was positive. Yeah I saw that episode of Intervention. I love that show.
  2. 50s and clear. (It’s night). Was about 65 and sunny in the day
  3. I take Lamictal in the morning, trazodone and prazosin at night. Klonopin is irregular/PRN, and I don’t have a regular pattern with the flexeril since it’s new and only short term. From what you’re saying, it sounds like it’s better to take it with other meds, whether it’s AM or PM, than by itself? I think I probably won’t take it in the daytime again.
  4. Thanks for the feedback. It’s just strange that I didn’t find the flexeril sedating the first or second day I took it (and and that was closer in time to the last Klonopin... I also don’t find Klonopin sedating at all anymore). I didn’t really find the flexeril sedating during the day today either, more dissociative than anything. I’ve also been on some more heavy duty short-term meds (various opiates, additional benzo) with the klonopin while in active chemo or for surgery recovery, so if I didn’t have overly sedating reactions to those, I would find it surprising that flexeril/Klonopin combo (especially when not taken the same day) would be the one combination that would ever do that to me. I think it’s something about the flexeril itself. I know it would be ideal to wait 9 days post Klonopin (based on the half-life) to take the flexeril, but it’s prescribed for an acute condition which is causing issues now. So it’s not realistic to wait. Although I’m terrified to take it now again anyway.
  5. I was prescribed Flexeril on Monday for acute neck/back spasms. (I had breast reconstruction surgery in early May due to Hx of breast cancer, and the new “girls” are throwing my body out of alignment because they are bigger than the real ones and I was flat for awhile.) I am prescribed to take one 10mg tablet up to 3 times daily (and can break it in half if the 10mg is too much) over the next couple weeks to try to get these spasms under control. I took one pill on Monday after work around 6pm, and it made me “slighly” tired but still functional. I took another yesterday around the same time after work, and it had no sedating effect that I noticed. So, because my neck has still been bothering me, I decided to take 1/2 a pill (5mg) this morning at work around 8:30am to try to be proactive about the pain. I figured it was a smaller dose and, even if I even got a little tired like I did on Monday night, it would wear off before time to drive home. OMG! Around 9:45 or so, I was finishing an intake with a client (I’m a clinician at an IOP) and starting feeling “off”— very dizzy and lightheaded, and then I noticed my hands and fingers feeling weird and tingly (especially as I was typing and signing things). I finished up with him as quickly as possible in case I passed out or something. Then I started to feel disconnected and dissociative (things not feeling real, feeling “floaty”), which then led me to feeling panicky. I did some coping skills in my office to reduce the anxiety as much as possible and then had to go run groups for the next 3.5 hours. When in groups and engaging with clients, I felt a little more connected but still a bit “off.” Afterward, when I wasn’t so busy and was just in meetings or doing paperwork, the dissociative feelings came back, and I also became aware again of tingling in my hands, fingers, feet (while at the same time feeling they were disconnected from me). Walking felt weird. Driving home felt weird. I took my BP at home, thinking maybe it was low and making me dizzy, but it was actually high (143/96), which sometimes happens to me when I’m stressed, but my normal is around 110/70. I still feel pretty dissociative (though less anxious bc I’m at home) and I took it almost 11 hours ago. Has anyone ever had a dissociative and/or anxiety reaction to flexeril or other muscle relaxers? I was on it another time about 5 years ago and never experienced this, even taking it during the day. The only other med change I’ve had recently is Prazosin was added 2 weeks ago for PTSD-nightmares, so I was wondering if it could even be that or an interaction? I have NOT taken my PRN klonopin since Sunday before I was prescribed the flexeril, so those couldn’t be interacting (which I know dissociation can be a side effect of benzos but, for me, it helps with dissociation). I’m wondering also if all (or some) of the above is a delayed dissociative reaction (like a PTSD-symptom) to having EMDR therapy yesterday. A lot of what I was processing yesterday was my frustration about my dissociative tendencies— specifically my difficulty remembering specific trauma memories during certain of years of my life due to dissociation. Of course, my head is/was spinning now with all the possibilities, so I’m trying not to dwell. Just concerned/curious. What does everyone think? Any similar experiences? I plan to stay away from “Dr Google” because that’s just a further anxiety spiral waiting to happen. Thanks! Edited for: shitty grammar/spelling
  6. I do. I semi-regularly practice metta meditation (lovingkindness), not specifically for depression but for mental health in general
  7. I’ve had suicidal thoughts (or more like intrusive images of acting on suicide) when I’ve had particularly bad PTSD symptoms. I’ve also had very brief impulsive suicidal urges when severely anxious or frustrated, which subsides fairly quickly, so it’s likely more of a BPD thing for me. I don’t really suffer from clinical depression per se (depressive symptoms are pretty brief for me), so all of my past SI has been for some “reason” other than depression.
  8. Hey. I’m the same way, used to be on here a lot, now just randomly pop in. Glad things are going well for you.
  9. Thanks for your reply. I had my surgery last week, and then re-started the Lamictal (25mg) this past Wed, so I’ve been on it 3 days again. So far, no headaches whatsoever, nor any other side effects. I’m pretty sure the headaches were from the high BP, and the high BP was from extreme anxiety about my surgery.
  10. Edited because too embarrassed. Plus, on the off chance that the person this references ever goes on this page....
  11. Thank you so much for your supportive responses. I haven’t had incidents like this since I wrote this. Thanks for not judging.
  12. Please please please.... I am beating myself up for what I did, so if you are going to say something judgmental to me, please don’t say anything. I haven’t been doing well these past few days. I have a surgery coming up I don’t really want to have for a condition that I haven’t really grieved properly yet, and my parents are coming in from out of state to “take care of me,” all of which is triggering my PTSD bad. I’m also working on PTSD in therapy, which is helpful but bringing up shit. I started on Lamictal a few days ago to help, but it made me feel worse (physically with headaches, maybe emotionally too) so my pdoc had me stop until after my surgery, at least. My blood pressure has been all over the place when it’s normally low to normal. I’m dissociating like crazy. My neck is in severe pain (which is a stress reaction for me). Ever since my final appt with my surgeon yesterday, I have had mounting levels of anxiety and panic, alternating with rage and sadness. I think it’s because I got some negative news at my appt that I don’t really want to go into in this post (it’s relatively superficial, but it’s just a reminder of one more thing that I don’t have control over right now). Today, I was frustrated because the second person we hired to clean the house no-showed on us (need the house deep cleaned before surgery and I am just too overwhelmed to handle it), and then my husband took off to run some errands. I because increasingly anxious, just playing around scenarios in my head on a loop, and I couldn’t reach him to find out when he would be home (he sometimes forgets his phone in his car or whatever), which made me more frantic. I started having urges to self harm (hit myself and/or cut myself even though I’ve never really been a cutter), urges to OD on pills in a non-suicidal way but enough to get hospitalized, etc. Instead, I started throwing shit (non-breakable stuff, like pillows mainly), slamming doors, screaming at the top of my lungs, etc. Then I impulsively hit my dog. Not enough to do any damage, a slap on his backside, but enough for him to look at me, like, “WTF?” I then felt super ashamed, on top of everything else I was feeling. It was dinner time for him anyway, so I decided to just feed him. I went to get his food, and I was so pissed/ashamed at myself and needed to get that “out” that I then hurled his food accross the room and there was kibble everywhere on the floor. He just stood there kind of frozen for a couple minutes. We both did. I eventually got him more food and put it in his bowl, and he ate it. I cleaned up the other food, then the dog let me cuddle him for a few minutes and I apologized. When my husband came home, I was crying on the floor, hugging my dog. I told him what happened. He wasn’t thrilled with what happened, but not angry at me, more just concerned. The dog was being distant for the next hour or so, but he’s come around and seems OK. I feel absolutely terrible. I know dogs are resilient and shit, but I feel like such a piece of shit. I also feel like I cannot tell my therapist. About 6 years ago, I hospitalized myself because I had random intrusive thoughts/images of myself hurting my cat—- I didn’t actually want to hurt my cat, but I was very dissociated and flashback-y at the time, so I was worried I would act on impulse. I lied and said I was suicidal to go IP. (It wasn’t too much of a stretch because I felt suicidal for having those thoughts, just didn’t have a plan or intent). When I first met my current therapist and I told her about my IP history, I started to tell her the cat story. She cut me off and said that if I was about to tell her that I hurt my cat, please don’t because she is an animal lover. Well, I hadn’t hurt my cat, so I was able to finish the story, but now I feel like I can’t tell her this....
  13. Well, it’s a moot point at the moment because I stopped taking it temporarily (after my pdoc said to). I’m having surgery in 6 days, went to the doctor for severe neck pain to get muscle relaxer (pain unrelated to the Lamictal or the surgery but I needed to address it bc I’m supposed to avoid nsaids prior to surgery and bc I will already be enough pain from the surgery, not to mention the problems that having to sleep upright could cause my neck ). At the doctor, my blood pressure was through the roof. 170/100 at the doctor, and then 156/128 when the pharmacist took it at Walgreens a couple hours later. (I’m normally 110/70). Both the pharmacist and my pdoc said the Lamictal shouldn’t cause increased BP but can cause headaches. Because of everything else going on with me, pdoc didn’t want me dealing with possible Lamictal side effects on top of everything else, so we will re-try it after my surgery. Then again, the headaches could even be because of such high BP and nothing to do with Lamictal at all. The jaw pain could be BP-related as well. I’ve never had BP problems in my life. I’m still curious, though, if anyone has had teeth grinding or jaw pain from Lamictal.
  14. I swear, I had benefit at 25-50mg last time I took it. I am not really susceptible to placebo effect.... if anything, I have tended to expect meds NOT to work for me. Anything over 100mg (attempted 150mg) made me anxious and agitated
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