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About GrannyG81

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  1. Damn..... That pretty much sums me up to a Tee !!! I can get very distracted by them.. I also flitter a lot with anxiety/paranoia...Anxiety does tend to be the most prominent of the two but they can feed into one another...I don't know why i have to have this imaginary conflict..I've wondered if on a subconscious level i'm trying to process some trauma?? I remember been in psychodynamic therapy and the therapist saying that been an angry person could be because of a unresolved wrong doing...Feeling that i've been wronged in life and its unresolved...Something along those lines.
  2. You sound very much like me...I ponder on stuff like this a lot...I saw a charity advert the other night about poaching Rhino horns and i was just disgusted ..I just cant wrap my head around that kind of mentality...Stuff like that really angers me no end.. I have a lot to say on this subject but i dont feel like i can articulate it online like i would like too..I'm going to ponder on this and get my thoughts together and come back to this..
  3. Yes i get angry over past wrongs done to me but i also get angry over imagined conflict...It sounds daft but i feel like i'm almost addicted to this internal imagined conflict...It happens everyday and i cant remember a day i havent had it..i'll watch debates purposely to get myself stirred up..The debates can be about anything..Religion,politics etc etc Another trivial example...I watched something on youtube last night about a guy who went to africa and helped put a water pipe in...And he then went on to say that if one person can do this why hasn't charity that has had billions poured
  4. Anyone else regard themselves as a misanthropist? I know i am..I don't know if depression plays a part in this or its just part of my personality...There's individual Humans i like and deep down i know that there's decent human beings out there but for the most part i'm definitely a misanthropist
  5. Anyone else always angry? Wether its at the world,Yourself or just anything in general? I always have a angry undertone to me..I'm always angry at something..It could be something from the past it could be something thats happening in the world or it could be just people and society in general.. I feel like i always have to be in some form of conflict..I'm always having imaginary conflict in my mind..The subject content could be literally anything ..Even when i feel pretty chilled i.e No major anxiety etc i still have to have some conflict going on in my head...To speak to me you wou
  6. Found this Forum dedicated to OCPD. Only just found it so cant comment on it as not had much time to take a look....Posting here for anyone with OCPD as it tends to be one of the lesser known PDs out there ..https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/ocpd/
  7. @Blahblah I've actually had similar where its induced anxiety/depersonalization....I'm gunna find you some of his longer talks as i dont think i could do it justice to be honest....I'm gunna find his talk about compulsive thinking..I'll tag you once i find it..
  8. Yes a real character...He has such a special charm about him...The way he describes the universe and life..He has this very unique way of explaining it....I havent read any of his books.....Theres loads of material on youtube...Its all free..I listen to him regular to help ground me.....Heres a small clip for you...Let me know what you think and i'll post some more
  9. I relate to this...Especially "I could sense the suffering of others" Your the first person i've come across that describes a symptom i had yet could not put into words...I remember trying to explain this to a pdoc..I cant remember how i worded it because i couldnt explain it...I think i said it felt somewhat i could think of someone and and what ever i felt was what they were feeling and it was normally not pleasent..I remember him stopping me midway and asking what i ment..I must of worded it in a way that give him suspicion that i was suffering some mental health symptom just by how stopped
  10. @Iceberg I appreciate what u wrote there as i do feel like i'm been irrational and not thinking straight... For some reason in my mind i have this way of thinking that a psychiatrist is the expert in medication and by default anyone not a psychiatrist is not a expert and therefore not to be trusted in there experience... I've thought that it could even be another way of me putting off medication...Just more avoidance behaviour... I'm my own worst enemy at times
  11. So i'm considering starting from Scratch with my meds..Starting a new combo.. I'm currently under the care of a Advance nurse practioner at the mental health services..My issue is mainly fuelled by anxiety...My mind works in a hierarchy type way and its making me not trust been under the Care of a ANP when it comes to giving me meds and that i should be under the care of a Psychiatrist which in my Hierarchy state of mind sees them and only them as experts in prescribing...I dont want to pose this to the ANP as i dont want to feel like i'm belittling him...After all they wouldn't have pres
  12. Totally agree...The way my mind works is i understand things better if theres a label there...Not just in mental health but life in general... Say i take my car to the garage and the mechanic says well.." There seems to be some gas leaking here and it could be that the the metal has eroded or maybe its down to this ring here that has slipped off" To me that would be fuzzy language and would frustrate me no end were as if mechanic b said " Your exhaust has broke you need a new one" I can handle that as i know what the problem is...Mechanic A would have me guessing the issue...Hope th
  13. I had this obsession for a good couple of years..Even though now it dont bother me its still there in the back of mind...For example if i were to see a used needle on the floor i would get the "What if" Thoughts.What if i stood on it without realising etc But they dont have the same impact like they used to..I dont think folks understand that even after you "Over come" a particular OCD theme Like Hiv in this instance its almost like it leaves a mental imprint of scar..Just because it dont have a hold on a person like it used to it still lurks in the background.. Dont sound abusr
  14. Ok to get straight to the point...Do we have any Alan Watts fans in here ?
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