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Everything posted by GrannyG81

  1. Is Euthymic Mood (Euthymia) associated purely with people who have mental health issues or does it also apply to people without any mental illness... Google seems to offer mixed results.. I've seen it mentioned a few times in my notes.. Asking more out curiosity..
  2. I got prescribed it some years ago and the shrink at the time wanted me to start straight on 10mg but back then i had this horrific fear of meds and refused to take it..I know that shrink said i had treatment resistant depression in his words "Thats why you have struggled for so long" So maybe he wanted to go straight to 10mg because its mechanism of action is different at higher doses??...Anyways i'm just guessing now...This is the reason i want to be prescribed by a shrink..I know General Drs are ok but they are not mental health specialists and Psychiatric meds expecially when its combos and complex mental health Imo needs to be prescribed by an expert .. i know if i went to my general dr my fear of meds would kick in as in my mind i'd see it that they are not experts hence why i've gone down the private road....Saying that i'm hoping if i get on with this shrink i might make it a more long term thing...Even if its to touch base every couple of month...I just get fed up of having to repeat the same story over n over to different pdocs
  3. I am leaning towards this...The only thing that concerns me is abilify been activating...I personally need something that is more sedating/calming...I have read though that at higher doses 10mg abilify goes from activating to calming so that could be an option
  4. I dont tend to fair well with SSRIs...Escitalopram helped my thoughts become a bit clearer/sharper if that makes any sense?? Other than That SSRIs tend to make me agitated/Anxious...Which is weird as i remember taking fluoxetine (Prozac) when i was about 20 ish and it made me sedated and tired yet when i've tried it later in life it did the opposite and made me feel uneasy...It also makes me sweat badly and gives me a bad stomach
  5. On a side note i'm still fairly depressed..I get the odd breakthrough in emotion yet i just cant be fukin arsed doing anything...Its a strong apathy feeling..I do get slight feelings of hope that come through only to be over shadowed by this apathy..
  6. I did Try risperidone many years ago mixed with paroxetine and i didnt take well to it...Felt very edgy/Nervous..Possibly akasthesia but just didnt know what it was back then... I have thought about abilify or even serequel maybe?? I'm just getting as much info together so that i'm going to the appointment prepared
  7. Just to add...My reason for wanting Antipsychotics alongside and not just Purely Andtidepressants is because a lot of my anxieties have a paranoid/bizzare element to them..I can only describe them as delusional "Content" But not delusional in nature as i dont 100% believe them..However when i get really depressed they become more convincing and terrifying...
  8. So ive got an appointment with a Pdoc...Its for the end of the month I'm going private and tbh his price is quite fair...Hes charging 250 english pounds were most are between 300-350..i've looked him up...He has plenty of credentials.. I explained on the phone i already have diagnosis and my reason for visit is more around medication/treatment...I said i would bring in previous notes from various Pysches over the years which outlines my main issues/diagnosis etc I'm also gunna write down various medications i've been on in the past ..Which ones i found helped which ones i found didnt help and also show him medication and various med combos i've been perscribed over the years... I'm currently taking Mirtazapine 30mg which i've been on for about 8/9 years..I dont find it works anymore so i'm gunna right down various meds/med combos i've found online that address my problems and show him them and see what he thinks in regards perscribing..My main issue at the moment is depression which i believe is caused by OCD...I dont believe its a primary depression and my notes seem to back that up... Anyways an example of what i'm gunna do is right down say Mirt plus abilify as its indicated for OCD is abilify and explain my fears of it etc My expectations and what his view is..I'm gunna do this with as many combos i can find online that address OCD/Depression and go there ready prepared so that the session isnt wasted on drawing up medications...I'm also up for completely ditching Mirt and finding a new combo altogether... In the past SSRIs have tended not to agree with me...Clomipramine worked up untill it didnt...I got some hypomania from it and also Abnormal ECG and other side effects which ment i had to come off it....Its the only med i'd say that seemed to work quite well for me..It was suggested quite a while back to retry it but i had it in my head the previous side effects so declined it.... Anyways i'd like some suggestions from folks in here on what medications/Combos worked and helped you...I think i'm gunna look down the road of AD+ Anti psychotic which to be honest i'm shit scared of (Long Story) But that fear has grown weaker...I'd just like some real life experiences of what meds helped that i can look into it and possibly right down and take to the psyche....I know that we all react different to certain meds and what works for one might not work for another i just want to get myself stocked up with as much info as i can... I'm not looking into therapy..Ive had so much of it over the years and its just not for me...I am however looking into getting another counsellor to see once a month... So in closing i'd like some feedback from anyone on what meds preferably Med combos AD+ AP helped you the most for OCD/Depression... Many Thanks Jamie
  9. I've not really had totally fucked up things said like some in the comments but i've had some pretty dismisive and downplaying comments said a couple that spring to mind A therapist in a OCD group telling the people there "Everyones a bit OCD" Found that very downplaying...I actually said something to her over it In my notes one Pdoc acussing me of still taking Mirtazapine at 45mg after claiming to have gone med free which i actually had...So in effect calling me a liar I've tried drugs in the past...Nothing heavy yet in my notes it makes it out to be worse than what it was.. Theres a few bits and bats of other stuff but i'd have to look through my notes as some of it is in there.. On the whole nothing heavy but a few mistruths/Downplaying symptoms and twisting of words of things i've said
  10. Just to update i've got back from a walk...Didnt enjoy it really. Whole time i just wanted to get home..lacking motivation atm..
  11. I'm booking to see a private Pdoc...Just waiting on his call which should hopefully be this week...I'm considering drawing up a medication action plan and taking it too him with my own thoughts/suggestions on different medication i could explore..I'm not seeing him for diagnosis so hopefully most of the appointment will revolve around treatment..I will take some previous notes from the past to help him along i just dont want the session taken up with me pretty much repeating my background story over and over...Especially when paying out of my own pocket
  12. @Gearhead Summer has always been a weird season for me..Especially when pretty much everyone loves it, i've always felt weird and down in summer..I much prefer autumn..Infact autumn if probably my favourite season.. I feel a bit better today...I actually listened to some music yesterday and got some feelings from it..I still feel like everythings a effort and know i should get out for a walk or do something yet i just find it to be to much effort.. So even though i'm having some break through feelings i still feel down in the sense everythings a effort.. Just part of the package of depression i've become accustomed to.....I dont mean that in a defeatest sense..More a realization sense
  13. Whats the difference between "Obsessive Rumination" And Other Rumination in the context of mental health?? Is there a difference or is it more a play on words?? Online Obsessive rumination is more tied to "OCD" from what i see... Looking through my notes a PDoc who diagnosed me with OCPD also put at the side "Obsessive Ruminations".. Tbh i've questioned his diagnosis of OCPD as pretty much all other Pdocs Diagnosed OCD...I also see in the same Notes him saying "Treatment for OCD includes" and i also remember him saying to me in consultation "You have obsessions and compulsions and you act on those obsessions and compulisons" At the time i was ringing HIV hotlines daily even multiple times daily asking the same questions etc Anyways why am i asking this?? I'm asking purely out of interest..I've always thought the OCPD diagnosis was incorrect..I do believe i have traits of OCPD but OCD is more prominent. The diagnosis side doesnt really bother me....I'm just more intrested if Obsessive rumination is used purely in the context of OCD or can it appear alongside other conditions.. I have a brain thats like a sponge that loves to soak up facts/interest even if those Facts and interest dont really serve me any purpose..(Hope that makes sense) Anyways hoping someone with a bit more knowledge or even personal experience of said "Obsessive ruminations" could chime in and explain the difference if any...
  14. Anyone else get depressed in summer?? I know Typically "SAD" is more associated with Winter yet for me i find i get worse in summer...I'm starting on the downward spiral....Not the general ruff and tumbles of life but more the clinical side of depression...no interest in anything..I've been for a few walks and it did nothing..Struggling to get out of bed..Feeling numb/empty...Everything feels like hard work etc ..I noticed that it was roughly around this time of year last year that i got depressed also and ended up packing my job in...Well the sames happening now..I'm taking next week off work and tbh i'm not really interested in going back...I know thats more depression talking because at some point i will have to go back wether its back to my present job or finding another building site...I've part wondered if its maybe subconcious...I got depressed roughly this time last year and my subconcious is bringing it back to the surface or if its a case of genuine "SAD" just more to do with summer rather than winter?? Anyone else??
  15. Does anybody have any info on cross tapering Mirtazapine to antipsychotics (Mainly Quetiapine) I cant seem to find anything online...I'm more intrested if u can stop Mirt and start antipsychotics or if u need to gradually reduce Mirt before staring an antipsychotic...If anybody has some info i would appreciate it...I'm not under the care of a Pdoc but i'm making arrangements to see a private one...I'm going to give him all my notes/previous Dx etc and suggest to him ditching my mirtazapine and just using quetiapine..Just interested to know if Mirt can be stopped abrouptly and Start straight on quetiapine..I,m rambling a bit my heads a shed
  16. Damn..... That pretty much sums me up to a Tee !!! I can get very distracted by them.. I also flitter a lot with anxiety/paranoia...Anxiety does tend to be the most prominent of the two but they can feed into one another...I don't know why i have to have this imaginary conflict..I've wondered if on a subconscious level i'm trying to process some trauma?? I remember been in psychodynamic therapy and the therapist saying that been an angry person could be because of a unresolved wrong doing...Feeling that i've been wronged in life and its unresolved...Something along those lines... i'd like to offer you an answer to this but i'm not 100% sure as to why i even do it myself...Maybe its a combination of things??? I try to watch a lot of Alan Watts which is very Zen Buddhist...I find that it grounds me quite a bit..It helps me not to take myself to seriously too
  17. You sound very much like me...I ponder on stuff like this a lot...I saw a charity advert the other night about poaching Rhino horns and i was just disgusted ..I just cant wrap my head around that kind of mentality...Stuff like that really angers me no end.. I have a lot to say on this subject but i dont feel like i can articulate it online like i would like too..I'm going to ponder on this and get my thoughts together and come back to this..
  18. Yes i get angry over past wrongs done to me but i also get angry over imagined conflict...It sounds daft but i feel like i'm almost addicted to this internal imagined conflict...It happens everyday and i cant remember a day i havent had it..i'll watch debates purposely to get myself stirred up..The debates can be about anything..Religion,politics etc etc Another trivial example...I watched something on youtube last night about a guy who went to africa and helped put a water pipe in...And he then went on to say that if one person can do this why hasn't charity that has had billions poured into it over the years managed it..I started imagining having conflicts with people who stop you in the street to sign u up to a charity and having these angry debates about why haven't they done it??..Thats just a typical very trivial example...The subject content can be literally anything...These internal imagined conflicts boarder on obsessive..They take up a massive chunk of my day...I wouldnt say they are really bothersome although i can get to a point were the anger has drained me..At other times i do get a lot of guilt.. Part of me wonders if i've got a lot of unresolved anger going on and these conflicts that i imagine are a way of processing it??? I hope this makes sense as i have this obsessive fear about not coming across properly online... I can function and sometimes these internal conflicts can motivate me say when i'm in the gym...I do think part of me is addicted to it...I know it sounds daft but i just cant help myself to get wound up over something...I know that i'm quite sensitive as much as i hate to admit that and a lot of these conflicts inside of me play into my misanthropy as a lot of it relates to what can be happening in the world and human behaviour..
  19. Anyone else regard themselves as a misanthropist? I know i am..I don't know if depression plays a part in this or its just part of my personality...There's individual Humans i like and deep down i know that there's decent human beings out there but for the most part i'm definitely a misanthropist
  20. Anyone else always angry? Wether its at the world,Yourself or just anything in general? I always have a angry undertone to me..I'm always angry at something..It could be something from the past it could be something thats happening in the world or it could be just people and society in general.. I feel like i always have to be in some form of conflict..I'm always having imaginary conflict in my mind..The subject content could be literally anything ..Even when i feel pretty chilled i.e No major anxiety etc i still have to have some conflict going on in my head...To speak to me you wouldnt think it as i'm quite a pleasant person yet if there was some device that could look into someones mind you would be like WTF ...I dont find it a major issue per say at times it motivates me although some times it can be draining... Anyone else similar?
  21. Found this Forum dedicated to OCPD. Only just found it so cant comment on it as not had much time to take a look....Posting here for anyone with OCPD as it tends to be one of the lesser known PDs out there ..https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/ocpd/
  22. @Blahblah I've actually had similar where its induced anxiety/depersonalization....I'm gunna find you some of his longer talks as i dont think i could do it justice to be honest....I'm gunna find his talk about compulsive thinking..I'll tag you once i find it..
  23. Yes a real character...He has such a special charm about him...The way he describes the universe and life..He has this very unique way of explaining it....I havent read any of his books.....Theres loads of material on youtube...Its all free..I listen to him regular to help ground me.....Heres a small clip for you...Let me know what you think and i'll post some more
  24. I relate to this...Especially "I could sense the suffering of others" Your the first person i've come across that describes a symptom i had yet could not put into words...I remember trying to explain this to a pdoc..I cant remember how i worded it because i couldnt explain it...I think i said it felt somewhat i could think of someone and and what ever i felt was what they were feeling and it was normally not pleasent..I remember him stopping me midway and asking what i ment..I must of worded it in a way that give him suspicion that i was suffering some mental health symptom just by how stopped me and asked what i ment..I always thought it was some empath sort of thing? Who knows..I still get it... Deja vu i get regular.. Seeing signs.....Yep those too The problem is i do believe the universe gives us signs..My beliefs are somewhat in line with buddhism..Not that i'm buddhist but i do believe we are the universe etc and that it does communicate with us... Maybe theres a threshold were these beliefs at there normal level are completly acceptable..Bit like a Christian who believes in god yet at there extreme level they become a delusion of such..So instead of a christian believing in god they now believe they "Are" god and as such believe they have special powers etc.....Thanks for the reply you are the first person to put into words something i struggled to....Thanks for that
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