Just stumbled on this thread & have to put my $0.02 in. I struggle with C-PTSD & treatment resistant depression. Shocks, TMS, decades of meds & therapy maintained my existence but brought little in the way of relief. And it left me diminished cognitively & physically, where you are now. But things changed. I started to heal. It took years, but my brain began healing also, and a lot of its function has returned. Not all, and not always in ways I expect or recognize, but it's happening. What I'm telling you is don't lose hope. No matter how damaged you are, it is possible to heal. Hang in there.