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About esmerinhell

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  1. i haven't really looked into medication other than CBD oil and antidepressants, and overall i'm really not into taking more things than i already am, i hate relying on it. i don't worry about the future much as of lately, i've been distracting myself pretty much 24/7 for months now so i haven't had an existential crises in quite a while. whatever you're going through i really hope you find some way out,
  2. im back, happy to see what people have said. thank you both, i really appreciate it.
  3. i stopped seeing my therapist roughly four months ago, but i still take medication, which is just thyroid meds, antidepressants and CBD
  4. i tried therapy for a couple months back in 2020. i stopped because i dreaded it and honestly didnt see any improvement, i dont know if im being impatient or if it just isnt that effective.
  5. i've been sleep deprived so many months now. i dont know why but i can only fall asleep at like two in the morning despite the fact that i have to wake up at eight for school. usually i feel horrible just after waking up although it wears off and i feel fine, but now its starting to seriously affect me. school alone has made me start self harming again and ever since i woke up this morning i've felt sick.
  6. nothing. i used to be suicidal too, and maybe i still am, but the meds artificially inflate my mood so i am just on the verge of being functional. i completely understand how you feel about medication not working, i went through that too.
  7. Therapy doesn't work. Medication makes me feel not suicidal. I've been depressed since eight grade, and every year since then has gotten progressively worse. I don't even know where to begin. I feel like I've wasted my life and I'm only sixteen. I have no friends because I'm a reclusive person and I have almost no interest in other people. For my entire life I haven't been able to truly relate to anyone before. Looking back I haven't really... done anything. I mean, I have some good memories here and there but the overwhelming majority of my existence feels wasted. And every second of life not
  8. Ok cool. I just want to be part of a community like this since I can't really talk to anyone about my self harm.
  9. I just joined and I see some posts are from the early two thousands and I'm not sure if this thing is abandoned or not. Also, I don't cut myself I just hurt my body in other ways. Am I allowed to post here and is there any rules I should be aware of?
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