I don't know what to do anymore. I am at my wits' end. Life feels absolutely over knowing what I did back then.
When I was 12, I was a lot into sexual stuff and would only talk sex with my schoolmates. Jokes, stories, anything. Often felt horny when alone in my bedroom. Had been watching porn since I was 10 and for some reason I don't know, I had an inherent interest in sex since very young, despite no outside influence leading me to act like that, despite my religious upbringing. I was 12, maybe 5 or 6 months before I would turn 13, can't even remember if I had discovered masturbation a