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Yellow Roze

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Houston, Texas
  • Interests
    writing, reading, learning, plants, animals, doing things with my hands like needlework, crocheting, painting, etc. I love meeting new people and chatting. Old fashioned letter writing and sending letters snail mail.

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  1. The hot flashes drive me crazy and make my husband snicker at me cos I never know when they will hit, but typically, they are at night. I worry because the women in my family have a history of doing batty things when they hit their 40's...I'm almost out of the danger zone at 47. When she was in her early 40's my Grandmother was married with three young girls in their pre-teens. My Grandmother ran off with a younger man who was only 33 and left her kids to be raised by their Father in a time period when men simply did not raise children. My mom resented her mom and they didn't talk for many years. Then, crazy as it was, when my mom turned 39 she also was married and had four kids...three boys and a girl...all in high school...mom ran off with a bricklayer who was only 21!! 🤪 She left her older children alone with her 1st husband. Which set off another cycle of resentments. Mom thought she was going through the "change of life" when she was told she was pregnant with ME. When I was born, Mom was 40. When my sister turned 41 she left her husband and daughter and ran off with a rodeo rider...needless to say, I am really hoping not to follow in their screwed up footsteps. I'm 47, still with my husband, have no children to abandon and don't have any kind of wander lust. Three more years and I should be out of the danger zone.!
  2. I am now terrified of getting into open bodies of water. When I was younger I grew up swimming in lakes, rivers, the Gulf of Mexico and loved it. I was always with my three much older brothers and never once thought twice about what could be lurking in there. THEN, when I was in my late 20's I went on a weekend trip with the man I had been dating to Padre Island and we were going to leave very early in the morning but he talked me into a quick swim before we left. Well, it was just getting light out and we got well out past our heads, could not touch bottom and on a wave coming right at us was a school of baby jelly fish. Ouch, does not cover it. I've never swam so fast in my life. I never stepped foot in the Gulf of Mexico after that. But I would still go into rivers and lakes. THEN I made the massive, massive mistake of binge watching River Monsters. Uh huh. Nope. Never. Again. Have I gone into another body of water where I could not look down and see very clearly the bottom. Now, it has been nearly 14 years since I've gone swimming at all. I'll go fishing but won't go out on a boat either. Worse, I have to constantly come up with excuses because this is not something I can ever let any of my brothers know because they would die laughing and tease me horribly. I would never live this down. I've confessed this fear to no one til now.
  3. Hi there, I grew up and have lived most of my life in rural Texas towns. I know it can be quite challenging. I do know most of them have low income or sliding scale clinics. If you call 2-1-1 they are amazingly helpful. Tell them what you need and they will get you to where you need to be. Also, for the time being, if you do get prescribed a medication, reach out to the makers of that medication and tell them you can't afford it, and a lot of them will help! I don't know what part of Texas you are in, but Gov. Abbot declared a state of emergency back in Feb because of the ice storm that hit, so extra resources and funding have been coming into Texas. So, now is a good time to seek help.
  4. I do a few things, depending on how I'm feeling and how intensely I'm feeling them. I will isolate myself in my walk in closet. I have a comfy chair in there. It is quiet, and I will light soothingly scented candles, or, recently I've become addicted to using an oil infuser. I will use a cool gel filled eye mask and just listen to soft music or meditate. I engage all my senses when possible. Sometimes, I'll spend hours in my closet. But, like I said, its a big walk in so I don't feel confined or trapped but I feel secure. Another thing I do, is keep a box of pine cones handy, in a box off the side of my porch. When I become angry or anxious, or restless nothing is as satisfying as smashing pine cones against the side of the house. Yeah, I get some weird looks since moving to an apartment complex and smashing them against my own door...but it works. I love to see them explode. For me, pine cones are free...just go to the park, woods and pick them up. When I had my own vehicle, I'd get in and go for super long drives on the back roads of Texas. I'd get so lost...and crank up the music and roll down the windows and just enjoy being alone. Sometimes I'd sing, way off key...I loved all the butt kicking songs. By the time I got back to a main road I had my boots back on and was ready to kick some butt. If I wasn't singing, I'd stop and take pictures of things that caught my attention. Other times, I'd just stop and gaze over fields of cows... Finally, going fishing. I never really caught anything and I didn't really want to. If I did, it was catch and release. But sitting there, on the dock or river bank, feet in the water, surrounded by nature and no one talking...seeing the ripples in the water...it is all very calming to me.
  5. I'm new and just wanted to thank you for popping by my profile. I had not yet filled it out. I've read some of your posts and must say I like how you treat people. You have a very kind but honest approach which is very refreshing. :) 

    1. MiaB


      Thank you, and welcome to CB :)

  6. Hi there. I just turned 47 this month (June). I am married but we decided not to have children. I made the choice not to have children long before I married, because in my opinion it is just stupid to bring another kid into this world when there are already so many who do not have loving homes. By, as I said, that is just MY opinion. I have some health issues that could cut my life expectancy short but my husband is fairly healthy and we have both assumed I'd be the first to go. That said, nothing ever turns out like you plan, and there is a high probability I'll end up in a nursing home if he does leave this world before I do. I try to prepare myself for the possibility of living out the last years in a nursing home and it isn't exciting at all.
  7. I have a strong fear of falling in the shower. Doesn't matter that I sit on a shower chair. I fear closing my eyes, turning my back to the water and I hate when the water sprays my face. I can't use very warm water cos steam triggers asthma attacks so I'm always cold once I get wet. I sponge bathe regular but rarely ever actually get in the tub. I feel like a horrible person because of this. I'm kinda glad I found this discussion.
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