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About jarn

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  1. Hey! So I saw pdoc Wednesday... I can stay on loxapine! Happy dance! He doesn't like that I'm still lactating, but says we should give it some time to see if it stops. He also said loxapine works so well for me that it's a very high bar to go off of it. And I can add 10mg here and there as a PRN if I need it for psychosis or any manic symptoms.
  2. I feel shame I suppose, but because I always to a certain extent believe my paranoid delusions (the trackers aren't following me and reporting the THE people right now, for instance, but I know they will again in the future) I don't feel that the same way. It helps too that Toby is so calm about everything. The thought broadcasting though I find somewhat shameful or at least embarrassing when I'm well because I do stuff to avoid people being able to see my thoughts, or hear them over the radio. The thoughts I have aren't nice and I feel ashamed by them. I have seen people who I knew were demons too which makes me panicked but I'm not sure what I feel about that when I'm well - I suppose I adopt a similar approach to your tdoc - they're thoughts I had when I wasn't well but I'm better now and don't have those thoughts. Though, as I said in my first paragraph, I have a lot of trouble letting go of paranoid delusions. When I was first on lithium my best friend was part of a plot against me, and even though I never let on that I knew what she was doing, and when I was put on seroquel I understood she wasn't, it took me a LONG time to forgive her for what she'd done. It changed my whole feeling towards her.
  3. Yes yes yes yes yes!!!!!! I've had a few manias where I felt high but generally I'm like what you describe. I do rapid cycle and there I go high but a good 30-120 minutes before a huge crash isn't exactly good respite.
  4. I don't get much feedback at my new job, and I wish I did. I already have a new boss (restructuring, my old boss is now my new boss's boss) and I got some great feedback from him which helped. But I'm left wondering and it's a super long probation period (per CBA) which is stressful. I do think your therapist is right. As long as the work environment stays supportive. Having left an extremely dysfunctional, toxic workplace in August I know that even if you're getting good feedback WHAT NEXT is stressful. I wonder if having been recently at a very negative workplace is feeding into your anxiety at your current job?
  5. It's AMAZING for my agitation. Like total miracle. Anxiety I still experience but take gabapentin for and it's better than on AAPs for me, plus I'm out of a toxic work environment now. Stability wise I'm a lot better. Or getting there. I've had after shocks where I get hysterical but it's better every day and I'd say I'm like 90% normal at this stage. I'd be at 100% but the puppy and a neighbour telling us he was crying all day and bothering her caused a bit of a meltdown and I was a huge mess. (He's better now, apparently, to us and our dog walker too). Plus I'm sleep deprived from taking the puppy out at all hours. I hope it's just time. Thanks, that made me feel better. I really appreciate it! Very helpful so don't think it wasn't.
  6. Yeah unless it's taken a while for my prolactin levels to get here? Loxapine does elevate it but it's solidly normal now.
  7. I did bloodwork Saturday as I have pdoc Wednesday to go onto Zyprexa (rather than Clozapine) - he wanted to be CERTAIN I needed to go off of loxapine. I waited as long as I could to get the Haldol increased prolactin down, so like 2.5 weeks, though I've been off of Haldol for a monthish. Previously, my prolactin was high on loxapine. I've been lactating since at least early September, pretty sure longer, as I did a bit at the start of May but then didn't check. I dropped from 60mg of loxapine to 50mg due to a tremor in my hand, which improved. It's come back when I hold stuff, but I suppose it's possible it's not med related. It's sporadic and not at all predictable. VERY mild. Anyways, I looked up my bloodwork results yesterday, and... Everything is normal. My prolactin is normal. I am still lactating. WTAF? Will it take longer for the lactation to stop? Does anyone know? Am I going to have to go off of loxapine or not? It's great for me from a psych perspective. UGH
  8. Welcome from a fellow Canuck! (and dog lover...I've got three, including a new puppy)
  9. I personally prefer to frame it as I am bipolar. Bipolar and how it has affected me has informed my identity so much that saying I have bipolar like I have the flu doesn't sound right or feel right. I too was very prejudiced when I was first diagnosed, despite having psychotic symptoms from a young child, I always knew I was different, but self-stigma is strong. You'll get good support here.
  10. Enhancement like to deal with issues the illness and meds have caused? Or to go beyond how you were before illness?
  11. jarn

    Targeted ads on CB

    Hubby has some Saxx underwear. Speaking as a straight woman, FYI men looking to impress ladies...I LIKE it! Like am obsessed. (He also says it's very comfortable) I think he got it at his work.
  12. So typical then eh? They are 100% high energy dogs.
  13. There is some similarities in appearance, I've never really thought about it before. Is that yours? Neb is around the right size I think, 40lbs. I like ACDs. Smart dogs, like most herders! (My first two dogs were GSDs, so I have a soft spot for herders)
  14. His mom was supposed to be a Husky/Beagle/Lab mix (you can see the dilute Beagle markings on him) - no idea what his dad was. He looks nothing like his mom, I met her at the rescue I got him from as they took her and her litter. She was...different...looking. But all dogs are cute! My MIL says Neb looks all wrong, so go figure. She grew up with Beagles in England though and says nothing about Neb is proportionate.
  15. I can't imagine it will be good, but perhaps I'm underestimating Kanye's opera chops. Let me see if I can figure out how to attach one. Photobucket and I are not in cahoots these days.
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