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About MistyGypsy

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    South Australia
  1. wants her friggin memory back! Feeling chipper though :)

  2. Yeah, I've just met you too, and I like what I see. I relate to a lot of your darker thoughts, and probably need to go back to the looneybin myself. But I'm happy to see another Alice In Chains reference on here. (I may be a tad obsessed.) I hope you'll look after yourself. Thinking of you, MG x

  3. I'd rather be numb too. Also agree with the bosom idea (& approve of the use of the word 'bosom'!)Ever notice how many articles on current affairs shows are about sports bras? Quelle stupide!

  4. Hated school so much that I developed a severe but fake case of appendicitis in grade 4, resulting in an appendectomy and a couple of weeks off school.
  5. Hey blackbird, Coming in a bit late but just wanted to say - try not to beat yourself up about your dependencies (chemical or otherwise) and MI issues. We all cope in different ways, and as long as you do your best and keep striving, it doesn't matter how 'pretty' your style is. I've dealt with alcohol & cannabis addiction, social phobia, and currently I'm in hospital getting ECT for suicidal depression, but as long as I'm still here it's okay. Lithium has helped but hasn't been the whole answer - however, apart from being a bit shakey & needing to increase my fluid intake, it's just another med, another tool in my kit. I wish you all the best blackbird, love misty
  6. Hi deuce, I understand your feelings to some extent. I've had the plan & desire to kill myself by hanging for a while too. Currently I'm receiving treatment which seems to be helping reduce my suicidal ideation - ECT - it's not fun, but I'm hoping it will save me from having to be so destructive, and hurting my family so badly. I wish you all the best deuce, please make use of whatever quality help you can find.
  7. MistyGypsy

    Poll: Smoking

    Doesn't surprise me at all. I gave up cigarettes 11 years ago, & alcohol (& weed) 4 years ago, but in my lowest times (ie lately) sitting at a bar with a flagon of red & a pouch of Bank sounds like a great idea. Not going there though. Can't afford to take up any of my addictions again damnit
  8. Initially I felt relief from the ECT, but not so much lately. The memory loss makes it difficult to feel sure of anything. My lovely sister bought me a big diary & a bunch of pens & highlighters to organise myself which helps, but in general I just feel a sense of loss of control on top of everything else. I don't know how to get over this fucking concurrent self-hatred & self-pity. I'm fucked. I don't really feel connected to anything that runs along lines of reason or cause & effect. Going out with my family to a football game today, hopefully that will distract me from myself a bit. Thanks for your concern & input.
  9. Turns out they didn't change my meds, they've just added ECT to the mix. Discharged yesterday, still going in 3x week for ECT. Liveoak, I remember my Pdoc mentioning lamotrigine, but that a major point against it is that it's not covered by the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme here in Australia, and thus would cost me over $80/month. Thanks for your input though, it's good to hear how it's helped you and of another potential weapon in my arsenal
  10. Oh, and I quite like Sia's "Breathe Me"!

  11. Hey Misty. I hope that things are going as well as they can for you. I hope that, even though you will be going through a lot in the near future, it was not daunting as it appeared to be. That you can look back at it all and laugh.

  12. Thanks to all for your info & support, it's really helpful. I rang the ward & they said I can have my iPod but access to my phone would be limited. That's ok. Probably good actually, I might start texting people that I normally wouldn't out of boredom & sadness. I'm getting worried about 2 different aspects now; whether the public health system will stuff me around with getting a bed (there was an indication of this when I rang the ward, although my pdoc has made a special request) and socialising with other patients. Social anxiety/irritability has been pretty bad lately. Guess I'll just have to try really hard to be open & accepting of whatever happens - to a point. Of course there will be some very unwell people in there. Thanks again, you guys rock
  13. Think pdoc said between 8 & 12 ECT treatments. Why would you be wary of both at the same time? I couldn't really care about the state of my brain (being suicidal n'all) but it's the emotional shit that scares me.
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