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About Persephone

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  1. My husband and I are trying to conceive. We have both been to the doctor and unfortunately both have some fertility problems. I am still in the process of finding out exactly what is wrong with me, but it is possible I might need to take fertility meds in order to get pregnant. There are a few other things to try first though. I am really terrified of fertility meds! I have heard horrible things about the side effects, both emotional and physical. I had a horrendous, debilitating depressive episode that took years to get out of and don't want go through it again because of hormones. Has anybody had experience with this? To be clear, I am asking about regular fertility meds, not IVF
  2. I only had mild headaches from ECT as well, but I did have some serious fatigue for a month or two after. I think it was due to lots of general anesthesia combined with high stress. General anesthesia is tough thing on the body. Take care of yourself.
  3. Ritalin changed my life. I don't have ADD, just very treatment-resistant MDD. After being on over a dozen meds as well as having an ECT series, I still couldn't function. Ritalin didn't help my mood, but it did vastly improve my energy and motivation.
  4. I had lots of problems with anesthesia too - usually I spent the next day vomiting. That combined with the memory loss does make having any sort of quality of life impossible. But once the treatments start being spaced out, the side effects will become more manageable.
  5. Decided to come back and say hello

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. jt07


      Hey, I remember you! Welcome back!

    3. Persephone


      Doing much better. Not perfect and still having bad days. How about you jt07?

    4. Persephone


      Waving back to you Sawi.

  6. Decided to come back and say hello

  7. Decided to stop by again

  8. My post on the unilateral and bilateral ECT thread touched on this a little. I had 28 ECT treatments. I had a period of a few weeks at the begin of the series I felt awesome. Unfortunately I don't remember any of it and only heard about it second hand. When I finished and still felt awful, I was devastated. The hospital suggested I do a whole other series in a few months. My pdoc said to hold off because sometimes your brain can be more responsive to meds for up to a year after ECT. It took nearly a year, but I revisited some of my old meds, tried a few new ones, and managed to cobble together a cocktail that has given me some relief. I am not cured, but a lot better.
  9. I haven't posted in forever but I have had have but unilateral and bilateral ECT. I had 28 treatments (not sure how many were bilateral). My memory the year before I had ECT is incredibly patchy. I attended my best friend's wedding and barely remember any of it. I also have three weeks in the middle of treatment no memory of whatsoever (I did keep a journal though. It is a bizarre experience to read about a time of your life you have no memory if). I ended the series thinking it had failed because I was still really depressed. My pdoc said there is evidence that meds work better after ECT - and that's what happened. I started getting some results from meds that hadn't worked before. After about 6 to 12 months, I did begin feeling well enough to be somewhat functional. I think I will have at least low level depression for the rest of my life. My pdoc still tweaks my meds from time to time to see if I can do better, but I have resigned myself. But I have managed to hold down and do fairly well at a job I like, am in a successful relationship, and live a relatively normal life.
  10. I talked with my pdoc this morning - he seems a bit shaken up, most probably because the way he feels most comfortable treating people is with medication and there is no anorexia pill. He mostly just told me at mininum keep from losing any more weight for now. Stopping ECT would probably not be a good idea because I am in far more danger hurting myself because of depression rather than from an ED.
  11. Sorry ladies, I know no one who really understands IRL and I'm feeling desparate to talk to some one. I've technically been recovered from anorexia for over a decade. It took me a long time to get over bulimia but now I am 100% over it - I can't even remember the last time I purged. Everything regarding my ED was going just fine until maybe a month ago. The hospital where I get ECT tries to maximize use of the ORs by scheduling ECT treatments around 11 am so they can get some surgery done earlier in the morning. Because I have to fast before, this means I spend one or more day a week barely eating at all. Obviously, I started losing weight - which as you all know, for a former ED sufferer is the equivalent of having drug addict take a hit off a crack pipe. I've always kept my weight at the low end of normal, and now I am within a few pounds of an anorexic BMI. Even more concerning, I've stopped menstruating (for some reason, this happens fairly easily with my physiology). This all reminds me how much I adore losing weight. My life is a total disaster right now, and just like back when I was a teenager losing weight makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something while everything else around me is in shambles. I should be trying to gain the weight back because things will only increasingly get worse, but I just don't want to! Weight has always been a huge concern for me, even when I am within normal range. I've been lucky enough never to have overweight in my life, and but for some reason I've been terrified of being fat since childhood. I know I shouldn't be, but I am helping this weight loss along because gaining weight just seems so wrong (although I know it is very unhealthy not to have a period). I've told my tdoc what is going on, and tomorrow I will tell my pdoc - but he has already admitted to me he doesn't really understand EDs. I don't know what I am looking for, but I know you ladies know how tough it is to be dealing these type of issues. I've started discussing these matters in therapy, but I need decide for myself to work on this before anything will change and I will be full-blown anorexic very soon if I don't take action. I know this is all up to me, but does anybody have any advice or encouragement?
  12. I forgot to mention - I actually had ECT today. For me, the memory loss has been very minimal - not anything I'm really concerned about. It hasn't worked all the way, but hopefully once I give meds another try, things will work better.
  13. MAOIs are scary - I had a hypertensive crisis without eating the wrong thing (I actually had to call my pdoc at his home). It also a serious pain in the ass to eat anywhere outside your own home.
  14. ECT #8 I think I'm slowly getting a tiny bit better. A few days ago I asked one of the ECT pdocs when most people start feeling better because I still felt terrible - the jackass said 30% of the time ECT doesn't help depression at all and it never helps anxiety. I spent most of the rest of the day crying. My outpatient pdoc took pity on me and wrote me a prescription for Ativan, which is helping me calm down a bit. I've also stopped dropping weight (good thing - I think I've stopped menstruating) and am sleeping a bit better. The memory loss isn't too bad - just a bit embarrassing. I'm only having problems remembering the past few weeks, which haven't been all that exciting. At my last outpatient pdoc appointment, he said said I seemed a bit better because I actually smiled for reasons other than sarcasm. I have up to 12 more ECTs left in the series - so I guess I still have time to get better
  15. ECT can be done unilateral (one side of the head) or bilateral (both sides of the head). Different regions in the US do it differently. According to my pdoc, in NY ECT is only done bilaterally. In my state, they start out with unilateral and only move to bilateral as the patient's seizure threshold increases and they need more electricity. I had my first 5 ECTs unilateral and I just switched yesterday to bilateral. The confusion is greater with bilateral, but so far I think I am only having short term memory difficulties.
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