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  1. Really struggling, had another death in the family and I am just fighting despair. I miss you all from chat, and it's sad to me that the chat is still gone. *sigh*

    1. M@ri


      My condolences, D. 

  2. I'm sorry you're feeling lonely and down right now. It helps me to remind myself that my mood will change; maybe that could help you, too. Hang in there, BD

    1. whatsizbucket


      I am thinking of you.

  3. I agree. Our system is narfed. I'm sorry you're in such pain cetkat. I understand how draining it is living with pain day to day.
  4. I know this is kind of an old thread, but I am so sad too, and miss chat. I feel so awful. I am really struggling again. Seems like that goes in cycles. I miss chat. But I understand why they pulled it for now.
  5. Thank you melissaw, in a twisted way it helps to know other's experience this. Not that I would wish it on anyone, I wouldn't, but it's comforting to know other's have seen these waves and lived to see them pass by and more stable times to come. <sigh>
  6. Thanks Gearhead, it's good to see you too. I had a mostly panicky day, and when that subsided, I got on with errands. It's so stressful anymore. I never know when a migraine is going to hit me, I had one this morning try, but I knocked it aside with a rescue med. Yeah, they know melissaw, pretty much telling me to ride the wave as it should pass, pdoc is going to suggest something else, but I don't know if I can do it. I might have to reschedule appt with her due to surgery on the wrist. That damned switch is going off, I feel so flippin's sad. I need to revamp my sewing area, which is in my bedroom. Just don't have enough room for everything. <sigh> and I feel smoothered and can't create. I know that is a big part of it. Need to get some wood to make a behind the door rack fro my fabric, it'll be like a dowels and board rack you can hand yardage over behind the door with a hat rack on top. <sigh> I dunno, it's just so overwhelming to be in the kind of escalated pain I'm in and the weight thing. Just all of the shit hitting the fan at once for me. Keeping my chin up, but it's hard. Anyway if I get to see pdoc in a week I'll tell her. and see what she thinks we should do. <sigh>
  7. fixed it so you can see past and current cocktail. I take abilify now, mega low dose. I think it's situational. thank you for responding.
  8. Yes, pdoc and tdoc know. I had to go down on my abilify (pdoc approved) because my triglycerides were off the charts. Having a rough time.
  9. It's a mix of everything, I just feel so shitty. Mother's day was so fucking hard. I just feel like doing nothing. I was doing so well for awhile, exercising like 3-4 times a week up to 40 minutes and was feeling better. I feel like shit now, had a bad female cycle of hormones. almost two weeks of migraines every day, physical pain, it's overwhelming. <sigh> Fighting tears now.
  10. I was listening to it earlier and it hit me, it reminded me of wind chimes. Really beautiful. Apparently that channel has quite a few, very cool. Appreciate you linking to that one in particular, I'll test it out next time I get a migraine.
  11. Makes me think of a calm river. Thanks melissaw! I'll turn this on when I have a migraine next time, I have had a bunch this past couple weeks, allergies are just in high gear. Very primal these sounds.
  12. I get the random crying too, and urges to call. It's still under 6 months though, so I know it's just the grief talking when I get to where I feel like I can't breathe from crying. Happening less and less. But it is still happening. Just wanted to post and say I feel for you both. You're not alone.
  13. I took trazodone for years, between 100 mgs and 300 mgs. Weaned off it and got onto Restoril aka temanzepam and at 30 mgs it's okay, but I need my pain meds or I can't sleep. Recently added a eye mask to block the night light and am sleeping better. Hope you get some relief.
  14. I've had the anxiety attacks so bad I've thrown up, also had one lead into a migraine. So I get what you're saying. Not fun at all. I've had maybe five attacks over the years where I have vomited, and I've had anxiety since early childhood. I used to get the worst stomach drop feelings, it didn't always mean I'd puke though, a lot of times it would just cramp up my tummy. I get tunnel vision and sweaty with increased heart rate. For a long time I didn't understand it, but I am working on breathing my way through them now and not relying on a rescue PRN med. Doesn't always work, but sometimes it does. You like breathe in slowly, to an 8 count and then exhale to a 10 count. Other things to try are like grounding, where you look for 3 things that are red or blue or whatever color, and then see what you can smell, and listen for 3 things you can hear. I am sure someone else has the exact technique and can correct me, because obviously it's not one I use much. I do the breathing thing though and try to visualize myself as a river, with leaves being these anxious thoughts and I let them come and am learning (via my tdoc's training) to watch them float away slowly as if the current of my mind (like the current in a river) lets them go. Like anake says, PTSD panic attacks are a whole other animal though, and I've actually had a PRN med not help before with one that lasted hours. Totally disabling.
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