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charlie_not_chuck

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About charlie_not_chuck

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  • Gender
    trans male
  • Location
    Urbana, IL

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  1. ....and.... honestly it was pretty terrible. it was in a religious hospital and that got my anxiety higher than I think I remember it being....ever... all the popes and jesuses and religious scriptures coming at me. I walk into the wrong building. then I get lost in the right one. the "auditorium" sign pointed to the exit door, and I nearly followed it, except I knew I'd get more lost. I was 10 minutes late, missed the introductions. The facilitator didn't seem to like me. Skipped over me having a chance to speak till after it was supposed to end, then another group member said something. Then I got interrupted, lost my train of thought, and as I was catching it she said something else loudly. There's another group thursday and friday, and on saturday, an LGBT one in the big gay city nearest me. I'm going to all of them. I need to start doing something more than what I'm doing currently and this is in my power.
  2. I'm sorry for your loss, Cheese. How have you worked with your grief? 3 years ago my dad died and I still haven't processed it. I think our MI issues end up getting in the way sometimes. Let yourself cry and feel your feelings, though. Loss is never easy, especially someone so close.
  3. I think baked goods are my favorite to smell. And that's how I choose what I vape. If you can bake it, I can vape it! haha. What was the last thing you ate?
  4. Oh! I didn't even think about home healthcare! I used to take care of elderly people. Mostly it was making sure they were clean, bathed, etc. One lady had stage 4 dementia and DEFINITELY saw things. I interacted with them. Put the kids in the kitchen so they could get dinner going, stuff like that. Didn't care that I couldn't see them, it made her feel better. :) There were others, but she was the most special to me. I had 3 years with her. It really can get hard though, like looking for answers said - that lady died on my shift. Group homes can be difficult, because you'll have folks that have severe issues, whether physically, emotionally, or behaviorally, and you can end up with other staff people who don't exactly play nice. I got fired for filing a recipient rights complaint due to someone restraining a resident without cause. However, being able to talk to someone who won't remember what you said can be really helpful!
  5. I'm definitely not sales. I put things on the internet in the hopes that you a) find out about the car you're thinking about buying and b) buy the car that's on my client's website lol. SEO is pretty popular. But with what you said above, there's also things like support specialists, which help grandmas through tech problems, etc.... Basically everything published on the internet was written by someone else, paid to do it. We research what keywords to hit and craft something reasonably well-written and informative to go with it. Like... I dunno, when you should get a new car battery. I know a ridiculous amount about automotive and I don't really care about it at all lol. (also, if you want an intro to SEO, read this: https://moz.com/beginners-guide-to-seo ) Freelance writing and content mill jobs are definitely a thing! It's not so much a creativity endeavor as it is just um. pushing through it. Like what I said above ^^ it's related. Maybe you're writing content for a dr's office and they need stuff about knuckle cracking, you put together so many words in a way that hits the keywords that you're told to target, and bam, another done.
  6. Oh for sure, you didn't seem to be belittling. I think instead of going to a label-less, we could celebrate the brilliant cornucopia of what human can mean. And I hear ya about the alien stuff; I thought I was one till I met my half-sister, the only relative who looks remotely like me. I wish mental illness or any other [label] could make people less judgmental but unfortunately we're all still human and have ingrained biases. But weirdos unite!! When I meet someone it's like "please please be weird, too" hahaha
  7. I think it's because I'm on a higher dosage of adderall than normal. My tdoc "did not suggest" that I experiment with different dosages such as 30mg 2x/day instead of 20mg 3x/day.
  8. Have you looked at remote work options? Not just "online" jobs - I know my workplace gets a lot of people referencing flexjobs.com as the referral source. I work in advertising and only go into the office once a month.
  9. ?️‍?? today's been okay. reallllly going slowly at work. Nobody's called me out on my lateness for my projects yet, but it's a matter of time. I've actually been able to sit and work today, but I've also been doing more research too on places to go. A friend's trying to get me to come close to her on the West Coast (Seattle)
  10. Humans don't work in the world of "the only word people really need to know is Human" -- plus there's a lot of health disparities exist with our communities. The additions to the acronym are to include people, though I'm not a fan of when folks get too bent out of shape about missing letters. My favorite is QUILTBAG (queer, intersex, lesbian, trans, bisexual, asexual, and gay). I wish I could say it's ultimately being human but as an ultimate human, I get the added benefits of things like violence for having to pee, job disqualifications whenever they run my background check and see my old name, and all the flavors of street harassment (either for being gay, being gender variant, etc). ... lesbians experience a lot of uncool behavior like men wanting to watch and they're just out living their lives, but being treated as a performance piece for straight men to consume. But yeah, bigots exist in so many spaces.
  11. Fried chicken! (that sounds like a good post-hospital reward) Do you like to sunbathe?
  12. the original site that was linked now has a "install flash player" virus... found it here: http://ncpamd.com/on-beyond-ritalin/
  13. Since I recently relapsed... Today instead of cutting myself, I got really high and lotioned my whole body. Part of that is going over the large keloid scars that were left over from when it was a big issue. Now I'm gonna have sleep time before 4am I think!
  14. It's helpful that there's someone out there, tbh I do self injections weekly. What I know of the medical establishment is that keeping meds on schedule isn't really a priority. I can see how it looks like I have a handle on things but it's just research. Something I'm good at. Getting to where I actually step foot in a place? That's a whole 'nother animal. I'm not ready but I'm still falling apart. I'll text my tdoc in the am and see what she says.
  15. to quote from the HRC publication: that's not too far, maybe 8 hours drive. Wonder what would happen if I just showed up? I shouldn't do that, though. I want to refill my rx's tomorrow. And I need to do my testosterone shot. I missed it last week.
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