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About shellbell

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    Chicago-SW suburbs
  1. I, too, had a fear of taking my meds. I thought they were going to kill me, and this thinking delayed my recovery for months. Please get thehelp you need to overcome your fears. Taking my meds was the best thing I ever did. I wish you strength.....
  2. Thank you all for the words of support. I cant tell you how much it means. This is a living hell, and my biggest fear is that the Cymbalta wont work. I just cant see any light at the end of the tunnel.......
  3. I wake up early every day with a vast hole of emptiness facing me. I have no desire to do anything. I force myself to do the basics, ie bathe, dress, light housework. I've even tried some short walks, but I get panicky outside. Reading, which was one of the joys of my life, is a thing of the past-can only do short intervals. My mind has one thought, and one thought only-"why is this happening, will I ever be ok?". Every minute seems like an eternity. I take my Cymbalta at 6:30PM, and by 8PM I'm knocked out, waking briefly every hour til about 4AM. Started Cymbalta 30mg on Dec 21, went up to 40mg the 28th, and the last three nights have taken 60mg. Pdoc is aware of my status, says to use the Xanax liberally(which I am), and we just have to wait. I dont know how much longer I can bear this mental anguish. Any responses, ideas and encouragement would be greatly appreciated.
  4. In Sept, after a recurrence of severe anxiety and depression, I was prescribed Cymbalta. I was deathly afraid of it, mostly due to the difficulties I have heard about coming off of it. I had no severe side effects, but kept refusing to up my dose to a therapeutic level(ie 60mg). I wentas high as 40mg with some relief, but was definitely not where I needed to be. In mid Nov, I went to 20mg in order to transition to Zoloft. I only had 2 doses, gave me heart palpitations. Stayed on Cymbalta 20, and on Nov 30 quit that and went on Prozac. Three weeks on that and my anxiety was through the roof, couldnt take anymore. I discussed this all in this forum and was taken to task by several members for screwing around and not sticking with the Cymbalta when it was giving me some relief. I took their advice very seriously because it made alot of sense, and on 12/21 I restarted Cymbalta at 30mg. As expected I had a miserable Christmas-couldnt enjoy anything, no appetite, all the rotten depression symptoms. Two nights ago, all of a sudden I felt almost normal. I ate dinner with a good appetite, and I was thinking of things I wanted to do. I was soooooo excited! But fast forward to yesterday morning, I was back in the pit and I'm still there. No appetite, I wander around the house not knowing what to do with myself, scared and anxious. I know it's still too early for the Cymbalta to be working (only 8 doses), but any ideas on what could have caused those few hours of near-normalcy? Saw pdoc yesterday, she wasnt too sure, thought the med might be starting to work. We upped my dose to 40mg and will go up to 60mg next week. I am just wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar, or has any ideas of what could have caused this brief episode? I am so desperate to feel normal again.........
  5. It's Xanax XR, which is new to me. Supposed to last 12-18 hours. Drugstore wont have it in til this afternoon. Pdoc is well aware of my distress, thinks I have to give the Prozac more time........this sucks.
  6. Well, now that I've got two weeks into Prozac I really dont want to give up now and start over again. I'm at the end of my rope. All I do is sit/lie on the couch or pace. The anxiety is overwhelming. Xanax helps a bit. Pdoc ordered Xanax XR 0.5mg daily. Can anyone tell me how that worked for them? I cant do this much longer......I'm scared of a blood clot from inactivity, and I havent eaten since last Fri-just force fed a few things. Pdoc says I just have to ride it out til the Prozac kicks in. PLEASE HELP!!!! I have never endured such agony in my life.
  7. Cymbalta seemed to have no side effects for me. I quit because of all the horror stories I read about getting OFF of it. Dumb as hell, I know, but that's how my illogical mind works in anxiety-mode.
  8. Titania, I couldnt agree with you more, whic is why I am now taking my meds as ordered. It's been 13 days on Prozac. Is there still hope it will kick in?
  9. I can be my own worst enemy. Startedwith a recurrance of depression/anxiety in September. Was started on Cymbalta 30mg 9/15. Also Abilify 1mg daily. My anxiety has led to an extreme fear of meds, and all the reading I did about Cymbalta and Abilify scared me to death. I got as high as 40mg of Cymbalta, then came back to 30, and shortly to 20mg so I could taper off and on to Zoloft. Zoloft gave me heart palpitations. I also quit Abilify due to fear. This was about a week before Thanksgiving. P-doc was pretty disgusted with me (and I dont blame her). At that point she said to just stay on the 20mg of Cymbalta, use Xanax PRN and we'd try a new plan after Thanksgiving. Thanksging went ok. I managed dinner for 12 and felt ok. I was functional, but no where near where I need to be. I was off work Thanksgiving week and the week after, got all my decorating and Christmas shopping done. Saw p-doc Nov 30, was taken off Cymbalta and put on Prozac 10mg, which I took for a week, 15mg for Sat, Sun and Mon, and began 20mg today. Last Wed (12/7) I crashed. Anxiety went through the roof and depressioncame back with a vengeance. I am almost completely non-functional. I got through work by the grace of God this weekend, but had to take another leave this week. I am so despondant, and dont know what to do. I am thinking that what little bit of Cymbalta I was on was at least doing a little something, and exactly one week after stopping I crashed because the Prozac hasnt kicked in yet. P-doc agrees with this theory. I am wondering what you all think, and if anyone has experienced something similar. Please, I am looking for hope, I'm desperate......Also, have eaten next to nothing for 4 days, exisiting on water, pop and decaf. Scared to death.
  10. Anyone? I'm scared to take my zoloft today. Thinking of cutting dose in half to see if heart behaves better.
  11. Sorry I wasnt clear-I am tapering off the Cymbalta, from 30 to 20mg for a week, while the Zoloft kicks in. This cardiac weirdness scared the crap out of me today, it's better now, but I'm scared to take the Zoloft tomorrow. I guess I'll give it one more shot......I have a Mitral valve prolapse, and ectopics are nothing new. I have been repeatedly testsed and assured that they are benign. It just seems odd that I would have a bad ectopic day starting an hour after taking my first dose of Zoloft.......
  12. I know you're not doctors, but I certainly respect the obvious expertise of many on here. Here's the situation: I started on Cymbalta 30mg, along with Abilify 1mg daily on Sept 15. Initially, things went well. I began doing things around the house, and saw some hope for the future. About 3 weeks in, anxiety reared its ugly head. After some debate, pdoc stopped the Abilify-no change in anxiety. So, we went back on Abilify 1mg daily and upped the Cymbalta to 40mg daily, against my better judgement. Anxiety soon went through the roof. I wanted off the Cymbalta and Abilify, maybe try Zoloft. Pdoc was pissed, said I wasnt giving it a fair shot. So she dropped the Cymbalta back to 30mg and upped the Abilify to 1mg BID. All this happened within about a 6 week period. I also have Xanax 0.25mg PRN, but was VERY sparing with that. Within a couple of days, I felt the afternoon Abilify was increasing the anxiety, so I quit it, but still took the AM dose. I was also driving gdoc crazy, with frantic phone calls, office visits, and hysterical crying. He and pdoc talked, decided I am my own worst enemy, and told me I had to stop being a nurse and become a compliant patient. We kept the Cymbalta at 30mg, with plans to increase to a more therapeutic dose of 60mg, and back on the Abilify 1mg BID. Also, I was to be liberal with the Xanax. I complied, and began feeling just a smidge better, nothing to brag about. This past Wed at pdoc visit, I meekly asked why we would want to delay the reuptake of Norepinephrine in my system, when I was already so full of Adrenaline. (Pdoc keeps saying, "Cymbalta is a good drug!"). Well much to my surprise, she said we could try Zoloft. I dropped to 20mg of Cymbalta that evening, and was to begin Zoloft 25mg daily the next morning. I took the 20mg of Cymbalta since Wed, but decided to wait until today to start the Zoloft as I was working and didnt want to have a bad reaction. The VERY NEXT DAY after going down to Cymbalta 20mg, I felt at least 50% better anxiety-wise. I dont think it's psychological, because I was expecting maybe some withdrawal before things got better. I felt better Fri, as well. Today I took the first Zoloft. Within an hour I began feeling foggy-headed and nervous. I can tolerate it, as long as I know these are start-up side effects. My questions are: 1. How likely is seratonin syndrome? Pdoc says highly unlikely, since I'm on low doses of both. 2. Is the response I'm feeling to the Zoloft unusual with a new drug? I'm also having skipped heart beats, which I get from time to time from anxiety, and I dont know if it's the Zoloft or my anxiety over all this. All opinions and advice welcome!!!! Shelley
  13. Last week, due to mounting anxiety, pdoc discontinued Abilify 1mg daily(reluctantly), which I had been on for 3 weeks and was doing very well. The anxiety continued to get worse, but I thought I could manage it until next appointment on 10/28. Then, IT happened: I was googling various stuff about anxiety and depression, when I came across a study released in March 2009 showing that there is a possible link between depression, antidepressant use and sudden cardiac death in women. The risk is supposedly three times higher. I WENT NUTS,and haven't come down since. Was luckily able to get in to see pdoc. She shook her head and said I was being irrational, we dont know all the variables of the study, blah, blah, blah. She said, "do you want to live your life, or be like this"?. End result, I'm back on the Abilify 1mg daily (she wanted it BID) and upped my Cymbalta to 40mg daily (she wanted 60, but said she'd work with me). S#@T!!!!! I'm increasing the very thing that is causing my anxiety, although sheer terror would be a better word. I would very much appreciate any words of wisdom that you might have, or possibly a new way of looking at this. All I can do for now is sit on the computer, wring my hands, and wait for "it" to hit. And of course, I realize that this holy terror is doing my cardiovascular system no good whatsoever.
  14. Cardiovascular fitness can lower heart rate. You have to exercise daily, with yourn doctor's permission, of course. Have you been checked for mitral valve prolapse? It's a benign condition that can cause tachycardia (I have it).
  15. "This is no time to quit smoking"-quote from my gdoc, who hates smoking so much he has fired patients for not quitting!
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