Jump to content


  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

1 Follower

About scream_phoenix

  • Rank

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
  • ICQ

Profile Information

  • Gender

Recent Profile Visitors

2,092 profile views
  1. A couple of weeks ago I went to my dentist because the area below my lips - in my gums - was so tender that it made eating anything besides soft food painful. They were more swollen at the time than they are now. I thought for sure this was something he had the answer for but he seemed really unsure, and he spent more time googling possible med interactions from my psych meds than he did talking to me. He ended up printing out aan article about Steven JOhns syndrome, even though I have no other symptoms besides the lips. My mouth looks pretty bad right now though, because I am also dealing with a case of beard dandruff that makes the area around my mouth red and dry. My lips were bad enough though that they looked very similar to the picture in the article on SJS.. I tried to explain to him that that usually presents immediately and with urgency, but he just kind of looked at me worried - and I agreed I'd ask my pdoc. Which I haven't done yet, but the very dry sensitive lips are occurring every day, and depending on the time of day the area inside my mouth around my lips are so sensitive that I can't really eat any kind of potato chip or anything. Its not just a nuisance, its also frustrating and painful. So I really don't know if this is drug related, or something with a pathology. I am on lamictal and Seroquel - and I have been going down on the seroquel and occasionally lamictal. That's about around the time these things started, but they are just chronic enough that I don't think its med related. It could be though. Has anyone had problems with mouth sores on their Anticonvulsant?
  2. Well I kind of went ahead and signed up for the ACA plan through healthnet/ambetter. I didn't realize I could actually sign up without paying on the spot. Now, the tricky part is I have to tell my parents I did this. They could technically not pay for it before feb. 1st, and thus it wouldn't go into effect. But I wrote them a pretty lengthy email when they went away to California this weekend, that pretty emphatically stated how important it was to have an endocrinologist that understands what I need to be on. I have been fighting that battle since September with my old endo and they told me to go find someone else essentially. I was kind of building it up to be a huge crisis in my mind, and the thought of going to March 1st before I could actually see someone I had confidence in sn just seemed too much. I had run out of one my thyroid meds my PCP's office said they had faxed but had not, and it was messing with me all weekend. I had resigned myself to not signing up, but I had already filled out all of the application except picking a plan, that when I picked one just as a dry run late last night, it officially signed me up without requiring a payment. So, I know my parents aren't going to be happy, but I have been planning to ask my grandmother or uncle for help for a long time, and now I kind of forced myself to do it. Now that I signed up I realized maybe there was one or two doctors on the state plan who might have worked. And I realize my PCP probably would prescribe most of what I need in the mean time. But the idea of winging it on my own just seemed too overwhelming. I feel a lot more assurance being on insurance - but I really can't point to a few more doctors being covered as a reason its worth it. I guess I'll see what happens. ,. I'm probably going to fight to have the insurance even though its not that great of a plan, but its not going to be easy dealing with my parents this year even if they accept it.
  3. Due to some complicated backstory reasons, I am on the state's public aid healthcare as a secondary insurance (It began as a result of a hospitalization, and it just kept going forward and it pays for my psych meds). With the Insurance transition this year, especially in Arizona, my options have become quite shitty: There is only one healthcare insurer participating in Maricopa Co. (basically Phoenix and the majority of all people live). And it is not a national company, its a small California based one that is switching from the name Health net to Ambetter. The best plan for me would be about $6,000 in premiums, with a $1400 deductible. With prescriptions that could add up to about $9000 to $10,000 - which is not far off from what my parents (I am unemployed right now) have paid in the past. I didn't realize it was that expensive when I was on private portability insurance. The thing is its not really that much better than what I have through the state. It doesn't have a great network, and it doesn't even include psychiatrists among its specialty doctors - psychiatrists are covered by a separate entity that doesn't even distinguish them from social workers and therapists. Its not an insurance option I think is a great thing, but it would give me a little more assurance as to seeing better doctors and having more of my medications and services covered. [I guess I should mention I am a type I diabetic, have no thyroid and have had other health issues, so yeah I use a lot of prescriptions medications that aren't cheap] But now my parents want me to rely solely on what the state will cover on the AHCCCS plan. I have always used it as secondary insurance in the past, and never really thought twice about it. I have looked into it and it covers some range of doctors and medical conditions but I'm not really sure how much. But for one example I need to find a GOOD endocrinologist this year, and all their choices are either way too far away or people who are barely google-able. It took years to develop an understanding of what combination of medications work for me, and I need to build that again from scratch with a new doctor who probably won't be as open minded as the ones I have in the past. I would rather do that with a doctor that is established and has some positive client feedback. But my parents dont want to understand this at all. Frankly if something is confusing or a doctor is giving me poor advice that hasn't woke, then I am just not listening. They do not understand that I can't just see any endocrinologist or doctor and hope it works, because most aren't really taught to spend more than a minute or two thinking of what someone without a thyroid needs beyond just reading the lab sheet. But the real problem is the one ACA option I have really isn't that much better than the state backup insurance I have. Its definitely not $8,000 worth better. All I get are a few more in network doctors, and the assurance that most prescriptions I need will be covered. But to be on the public option would put me in uncertainty pretty much throughout the whole year, and when you rely on healthcare just to stay alive and functioning - that's a LOT of stress. Financially it might be cheaper, but mentally the difference is night and day in my mind to know I have 'real' insurance. At the same time things are tense right now with my parents and at some point I may need to find a doctor who is not covered by either insurance. .Or see a pscyhologist who is not covered either. I had thought up to this point that my parents would pay for the ACA insurance. My mom seemed pretty much on my side about this. But then suddenly this week they both turned around on me. And given some trauma in the past, this brings up a lot of unprocessed rage about abandonment. I don't want the mental wear and tear of worrying if I can get by on the public plan for a whole year. But I know my parents will turn around and use the insurance plan they pay for as leverage for getting what they want or refusing to cover any additional cost. I'm not even sure what to ask, just looking for some support. I'd be interested to see if anybody else has basically gone the no insurance route or planned on out of pocket expenses because they knew it'd ultimately be cheaper than certain insurance. Obamacare has gutted the insurance market around here and I'm really only know realizing how piss poor our one health exchange provider is. FML
  4. Forgetting to take 1/2 of your Anti-Convulsant + Waking up to finding out Donald fucking Trump was elected president? = Anxiety on a runaway train :

  5. My sister has been married for over 10 years, and has 3 kids. Both my sister and my brother in law share a lot of similar 'values' - They both went to the same school (they met because they were both active in the alumni club) are Catholic and place a lot of importance on that and family. But my brother-in-law is 10 years older than my sister and I think is used to having things go his way, or maybe unprepared to face things in a relationship. He left everything - a good stable job - to start his own business - a home healthcare service that is a franchise of a company that somebody he knew started. The company itself sells franchises of their business model and does pretty well, but my brother-in-law really struggled - he didn't have a very good area to work in and borrowed a lot of money from his parents to keep the business afloat and it was a very stressful experience for him and my sister. Just this week he told my sister that he had met with a divorce lawyer. They have had struggles in the past, but I think this came out of the blue for my sister. My dad thinks he is trying to get out of the marriage in a quick way at the best terms for his business and his own finances. He wants a 'mediation' not to hire a divorce lawyer. My family has never dealt with a divorce in any form, and my sister certainly is not prepared to deal with it. Besides the three kids she is constantly taking care of (the youngest is not yet 5, my nephews are 7 and 9 and , for a nother thread, have had signs of MI themselves) I have no idea how she can deal with it emotionally. Nor financially or logistically. My sister worked before she met her husband, but has been a stay at home mom since their first child. Before he quit his job they were pretty financially secure, but now that he started his own business they are not. I really have no idea why he's doing it but he's proceeding the most callous, unthinking way possible. My sister's family all drove down to Chicago for easter, to be with all my family there and my sister tried to keep it mum for the time being. My other sister was there and from her report he gave my sister a greeting card that said he only came (on the trip) because of the kids. I don't really know my brother in law very well but this seems almost self destructive on his part. His own parents want him to go to marriage counseling first. My part in this is pretty small, but having no idea how divorce works, I wanted to get input on anybody that has. I am considering writing my brother-in-law, not to attack him, but to clearly explain the damages and costs that will come to him from this decision, and his kids. My brother in law is 49 and walking away from family like this, I really don't know how he expects to be in a relationship or have any kind of social support behind him. This seems like a ruinous short sighted decision that beyond shoring up his finances - I can't understand why he's making it. I really don't know if I should interfere or not. I know most people would say not to, but I feel dispassionate enough to make my case. Beyond that I don't know what I can do. My fall back is nothing because my health and mental health isn't so great right now. I'm a little worried how this will affect our own family, especially in terms of moving, because my dad has wanted to move up to minnesota to help my sister out for a long time and I think this would seal the deal. I don't think that I could make that move given my health and fatigue right now. I just really don't know how this is all going to shake down, or whether I just stand back and watch. I feel like I could inject some sense into this, but I'm the youngest and given what has happened in the past - not really listened to as a voice in this family.
  6. I am in a similar situation - though not as serious. My dad had a blood clot in his lungs that sent him to the ER and the hospital for a few days. Today he came back. My mind is always on higher alert when my dad is around - because he has snapped at me in several different forms, and when we get into arguments it quickly escalates because of PTSD kicking in. My dad was the howling voice of anger that sent me into the involuntary mental hospital twice, but my mom was the abusive one in her treatment of me, he never really did anything intentionally. All this happened while I've been battling serious illness and pain - and my family have acted about as insensitive, denying and hostile at different times. But with my dad back home, I feel like he will use his current medical vulnerability against me if I get angry. I guess it could be an opportunity for him to finally sympathize with physical illness, but its hard for me to be that compassionate given all the shit I went through. I think I am going to stay out of the way and let my mom do the work for the most part, until I can sort my feelings out - which may be a long time. I guess that doesn't really help at all. I guess I would just try to recruit people to help you, or bring in friends of your parents to help out and give you some relief.
  7. I don't know if it works for anger per se, but I've been on Lamictal (Lamotrigine) 200 mg for over two years, and and I think that keeps my sudden mood shifts in check. If you are looking for a mood stabilizer it would make sense to try a drug in the class of mood stabilization like the anti-convulsants Velvet Elvis mentioned. Lamictal is in that same class but it doesn't have as strong of side effects. I'm not even sure what lamictal does for me, but I know without it it would be harder to control my anger.
  8. I'm a diabetic and have no thyroid, on complete thyroid replacement. The times that I tried Zyprexa - I could actually witness my blood sugar go up, and my metabolism just crawl to a halt. I'm an extreme case though. I'm not saying to scare you away from Seroquel - I don't notice that effect on seroquel - but Zyprexa definitely messed with my metabolism.
  9. The nausea is not unusual. Seroquel has anti-emetic (anti-vomiting) properties. Whenever I would forget a pill, or when I tried switching to risperdal I would feel nauseous. It also reduces the activity of your adrenaline/and norepinephrine levels, which is what explains in part its calming feeling. So if you get rid of that you feel more on edge. So yes I'd say you're experiencing the rebound effects of discontinuing it. I don't know how to reduce or attenuate them. Hopefully its something brief or something you can live with until it becomes tolerable.
  10. I've been on a high dose (for me) of night time Seroquel for several years now (300 mg). It was something that was not up to me, because I was in involuntary mental health center at the time. I had never been on more than 50 mg for any period of time up until that. I also suffer from severe chronic autoimmune pain. At night the pain and anxiety really get out of hand - I have intense flashbacks and hypervigilance due to trauma that happened in my house. The hypervigilance and flashbacks makes gaining enough relief from the pain and anxiety almost impossible. Yet counter intuitively the Seroquel seems to make things worse. First it makes me groggy as all hell, which makes focusing on my efforts to reduce the pain and get ready for bed a lot harder. Also its sedation effect almost makes my hypervigilance worse, because its almost like my brain can't consider the possibilty of relaxing its guard - and stays more alert. In short it fucks things up. I was considering taking a lower dose of Seroquel at night and trying XR durin gthe day. Like 200 at night and 150 XR during the day. I don't want the sedation, but the night time seroquel doesn't really seem to do me much good in the day. I don't know if seroquel helps regardless, but I wanted to see if anybody takes this combination and how it works for them. Do you feel different during the day with the seroquel being in XR form? I don't want to be feeling the sedation effects all day, but its the only thing I can think of trying without lowering the seroquel or going off of it.
  11. Prozac ended up giving me the worst sort of restlessness and panic attack for a week after I had been on it two months, before I finally decided to quit it. It worked well within the first week, but then I think I just fell back into a depression anyway. I went up to 40 mg I believe, and the temp job I had ended so I was home for a week and I suddenly got so restless and anxious and then irritable. I just wanted the feeling to stop, but I ended up breaking a photo that was in the hallway and . . . well it wasn't the drug for me. My Pdoc at the time told me that compared to the newer SSRI's Prozac is more of a 'dirty' drug - i.e. it isn't a purely focused serotonin reuptake inhibitor - it also sliiightly affect some other neurotransmitters - namely Norepinephrine. That for me is a no no because whenever I have had a drug that affects NE I eventually just get too anxious. I don't type this to dissuade you from prozac, but to at least reassure you that at least in my case, prozac can cause anxiety symptoms. IMO whenever a doc or pdoc says 'I've never heard of that' - it usually means they haven't come across a patient who has come into their office complaining explicitly of that. She may have never heard of that, but I would trust your own experience,
  12. I read this over again, and am coming at it with slightly different advice. Your mother said 'you have 48 hours to change the way you treat people." Now I have no idea what she is talking about and she is probably making an unfair accusation - but at least from that you can understand where she is coming from and specifically what aspect of family life she feels is causing conflict. I"m probably stepping into territory I may not be in the best place to give advice - but you could ask her to clarify, and give an example. You could also explain that a big feature of BP is mood swings and irritability and it is something you are trying to work on - that it is not intentional. I know there are resources out there to help other family members understand and constructively interact with someone with MI. There are many protocols about ways family members should talk to their family member with MI. It may be expecting too much for that to happen, but it couldn't hurt to look up a few books about family guide to mental health at the library. In the mean time you can at least try damage control with your mom. Even though her demands are unfair and off base, getting extremely upset and arguing back in response will probably only make it worse. It sucks when your parents don't understand, but sometimes you just have to accept that and deal with it and not pick that battle - at least not until you can process things. Your family really needs to understand the struggle you are dealing with, and that there is no magic fix - but I've learned that sometimes biting my tongue will at least not find myself in an escalating argument at that time. Family's can definitely suck, hence this thread.
  13. I had never been on Seroquel above 50 mg for eight years, but when I was involuntary hospital the doctors decided to jack up my seroquel way up. I really wish this hadn't happened. I have several other factors effecting my anhedonia, but all that dopamine blockade from Seroquel kind of blunts my focus and drive and pleasure. So I would say it can have that effect. I wouldn't really start taking high doses, unless your doctor can make a strong case for it. 200-250 mg is where I take it now, if I go up on that I feel worse - sometimes just angrier, definitely more sedated, definitely less motivated and lose drive to do things pleasurable. I would try it where its at if it can keep you calm, but if you feel too anhedonic I would mention it to your doctor. Abilify is the one that seems to get all the good news of helping people with depression and not being flat like most other AAP do.
  14. I am really sorry to hear that IcePrincess. The same thing happened to me, except . . . well there was trauma. Being confronted with 'YOu have to do this in the next two days or we'll HOSPITALIZE you" when you are sick, in pain and your stupid fucking parents have no idea that you have a medical issues, not a mental health one sent me over the edge. It IS scary when your parents give you some arbitrary ultimatum to 'get better'. How long have you been dealing with your Bipolar, and how long has your family known about it? Has there been any recent conflict with your parents? IN my experience family members will attribute almost any behavior or conflict to their family members 'mental illness' - even its their own stress they're channeling on to you. Someone needs to explain to them what's going on - possibly your pdoc - so they don't come up with their own cockeyed theories. What your parents may be experessing is THEIR fear more than anything else. You would love them to understand right away, but from my experience that sseems to never happen. It helps to understand what stresses in their own life may have caused them to try and drop the hammer on you. Do you have any siblings or friends that could talk to them. I wish I knew what else to say, but its a little too close to home for me. I hope you can smooth things down.
  15. I knew that when I was on Lexapro, there was just an unbearable numbing feeling. All ADs cause that to some extent, but for some reason Lexapro for me was the one I could not tolerate. I titrated off of it after a couple of months. I don't know if that was the best idea, but there are other ADs that don't shut down motivation or pleasure that much. Since Lexapro and celexa are 'pure serotonin enhancers' as my pdoc described them, they may mute other things controlled more by dopamine - like motivation and pleasure. That's how I understood it anyway. You may still be depressed, but it just feels more like you described because of the medication. That's my guess, anyways. After blundering about for a long while trying to find an acceptable AD I finally found that celexa worked okay for me. It wasn't the best for my depression, but it didn't make me as numb as Lexapro.
  • Create New...