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About Isa

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    traipsing through the meadow
  1. I grew up in an abusive house, so I don't know if this would have happened when it did, anyway, or if it would have come later, or maybe never at all. I don't remember a time without anxiety. I don't remember a time without thought insertion (I thought it was normal.) When I was 6, I declared that I didn't want to grow old and didn't want to live past 35. I was 14 the first time I was actively suicidal. I was 17 before I saw a therapist for the first time (insurance limited it to 15 visits). I was late 20's before I started meds. I'm older than 35 and still think I had the right idea when I was 6.
  2. Phenegran is sedating and not helpful at all for my allergies. Works really well for nausea though. I can't tell if you're looking for something that is or isn't sedating, but for non-sedating, Allegra works best for me. I don't know if you can get it OTC; mine's a script. Claritin is supposed to be non-sedating, but it makes me loopy as hell. Pseudoephedrine will keep me up all night, even if i take it early in the day.
  3. I like Tidy Cats Crystal Blend. I'm very sensitive to smells and dust and have no trouble with it. I also mix in baking soda to help with odors, and leave the open box next to the litter boxes. I have 6 cats, so the cement clumping I know. Before I put new litter in, I spray the litter pans with Pam cooking spray and nothing sticks. As far as the best mat? I've found a textured throw rug to work best. And you can just throw it in the wash.
  4. If you have kidney issues, your kidney's filtering the excess might be an issue. But, for the most part you can't overdo it, according to my GP. Same holds true for potassium and magnesium according to my cardiologist, as long as your kidneys are healthy. By the way, my GP generally recommends 1000mcg of B12.
  5. You may want to try a weighted blanket, though. I can't think of the website off the top of my head, but I'll look for it. When my RLS starts, I can't stand the lightest touch, but pressure or weight feels good and calms things down. You would find them in places that sell items for sensory disordered patients.
  6. I finally started it today (prescribed a week ago) and I feel incredibly spacey and disconnected. I could just be having one of those days, as I do get them, but I'm going to be keeping an eye on it. And as far as no side effects? Anything you put into your body has the potential for side effects.
  7. Music, I know AI is different from MI. I stated that in my post. Mckey - my point was that you get a feeling in your gut of what is going on with your body - right, wrong, or indifferent. As I stated, I was playing devil's advocate...I was expressing that it may seem like one is looking for a specific dx, but really you're just looking for the correct dx. That's what I got from the OP. I don't know the history so I could be entirely wrong. However, I think we can all relate to how incredibly frustrating it is to hear 3 different dx's from 3 different people in a relatively short amount of time. We know that it takes time to receive an accurate dx, but it doesn't make it any less frustrating in the interim. Especially when you're new to the game.
  8. I'm new here and don't know the history, and I haven't gone back and read old threads because I haven't slept and I'm tired and I don't feel good (how's that for a run-on sentence)... But, I'm going to play devil's advocate anyway... I think about this in terms of what I'm dealing with. I have a myriad of health issues - some identified, some not. I know in my gut that I have an autoimmune disorder, but no one can seem to figure it out. But, it acts and feels like one. I am being treated symptomatically, but a cause isn't being treated. In my quest to figure out what is going on with me, I've had people tell me that it seems like I want to have this kind of illness - or that I want to be sick. No, I don't. But, I *am* sick. I want a correct diagnosis so that I can get correct treatment, a correct prognosis, etc. I am not getting correct treatment without a diagnosis even if I'm being treated symptomatically, because we are just treating things as they pop up. And treating things symptomatically isn't going to stop or slow the progression of the illness. It's *intensely* frustrating. To know, but not know...to wonder what the picture is going to be a year from now, 5 years from now. And you're the only one with any sense of urgency. I understand there is a big difference between an autoimmune disorder and MI. However, there is a big difference in the treatment, course of illness, and prognosis between bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and schizoaffective disorder. I understand wanting/needing symptom relief and seeking that out. I agree with that. From browsing the site, the consensus seems to be that a dx is only for the insurance companies. I don't agree with that consensus. Full, effective treatment requires an accurate dx. Or as accurate as you can get, as everyone does not fit neatly into a little box like the textbooks tell the doctors we should. That said, you do have to stick with a pdoc or a tdoc for quite some time to get a history and a good picture of what is going on. You can't expect that to happen in 5 or 6 visits. Symptoms of MI greatly overlap and it takes time to sift through it. During that time you can only expect symptomatic treatment. But, if you really want an accurate dx, you need to spend the time it takes with the same professionals to get it. And if a pdoc thinks s/he can dx you in one visit? That's probably not the pdoc you want. And you have to be open to the possibility that your dx is not going to be what you think it is.
  9. Thank you for the welcome. Mckey, my sense of humor is pretty morbid. I tend to get a lot of strange looks.
  10. http://www.conductdisorders.com/ I am a very active member there - different username - so I'm sure I'll see you around.
  11. My daughter was 10 when she was first prescribed Lexapro. She has also tried Prozac. She is now 14 and currently not on any meds, but we are getting in with a new pdoc. My "adopted son" was first prescribed Depakote at 10; he was on stims for ADHD younger than that. He didn't take it for long. Starting at 16, he started the med merry go round for BPII. His current cocktail is Zyprexa and Seroquel, which I think is a crock of shit. For some reason, doctors these days would rather put BP kids on AP's than MS'. He's not stable. But, the pdocs keep trying the same med routine hoping for a different result. So, his mom is looking for yet another pdoc. There is a support forum specifically for parents of kids with various psychiatric and/or developmental diagnoses. I don't know if the board rules allow me to post it, but if you want it send me a PM.
  12. It does take trial and error to find what med works best for you. I can't remember how many meds I've tried. However, meds alone are usually not enough. The way a depressed mind thinks - processes, interprets, etc - becomes learned behavior. Even though you've been depression free for 6 years, once it comes back those old thinking patterns come back. At least they do for me. I've been in and out of therapy since I was 16. I *know* all of the tools and tricks. Hell, my tdoc told me she wished I would get a degree in psychology. But, when my depression started kicking up again, I went back to a tdoc. My life is different now than it was 6 years ago when the depression was really, really bad last. I have different stressors, different responsibilities, different relationships, etc. Oh, and I did the whole, "I should just be able to suck it up" thing, too. All I really accomplished was giving my life over to depression for 15 years when I could have been treating it - and living life, not just existing. I'd hate to see someone else do the same thing. All of that wasted time..... You owe it to yourself to feel better.
  13. Selfishly, I don't care if I live or die. I'm not afraid of death. I've been in the depths of scary depression too many times in my life for death to scare me. Death used to be something that I fantasized about - not just a thought here and there. I'm not suicidal at all anymore. And I really don't want to die before my youngest is grown, at least. But, I have a lot of health issues that make life suck. Chronic pain, incapacitating fatigue, cognitive decline....I could go on for pages. I'm on week 6 of a low grade fever. It's just.....getting really old. The thought of living like this for another 40 years is not pleasant. I had just really gotten to a good place in terms of managing my depression when the health issues became disabling. Getting to where you actually feel *good* and having it ripped out from under you.... I've wished several times that I hadn't survived the heart attack - the one I was told I shouldn't have survived to begin with. I don't actively want to die. But, I'm ok with it if it happens. In the meantime, I am actively trying to enjoy what I can in life. I'm here - might as well make the best of it.
  14. Hi. I'm 36 years old and have had recurrent, treatment resistant MDD since I was 13. I was hospitalized in 2002 and in 2003 - should have probably been hospitalized as a teenager. Kind of a miracle I didn't take myself out. I also have anxiety which is much better than it used to be, thankfully, but am becoming aware of trauma related issues and triggers that set it off. No formal dx in that regard, but a dx would just tell me what I already know. Just need to address it. My depression has been in a kind of remission for a few years - as long as I stay on top of it and don't let things get too far before tweaking meds. It's always there on the sidelines, kwim? It was rearing it's head again and I was increasing the Lamictal, but I'm uber-sensitive to meds and the side effects were intolerable. Going to try it again, going a different route. Other than that, I have 2 kids (one with MI), 6 cats and a dog; a warped, morbid sense of humor; and a very low bullshit threshold. So, I'll see you around the boards.
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