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About Croix

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    May cause sexual side effects

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  1. Ok, paypal is being an ass today. Everything's purchased off amazon. So is there a different way I can donate? Croix ps. Guilt-tripping in a huge trigger for me. I apologize for being an asshole about it.
  2. Chill with the guilt trips. Some of us have to wait for another paycheck. We have until the 21st right? Croix
  3. I can't bare to throw out the artwork either. So, here's what I do. We hang on to it for a while. Later if I go back and can't seem to let it go, then I take a photo of it. I can keep pictures of the artwork and ceramics my kid did without having the clutter. In that way, it's not like you are getting rid of it forever. You still have something tangible. Just a suggestion. Croix
  4. Thank you violette. Yes asking for things related to sex is extra difficult. What a way to start out my assertiveness skills. Go for the biggest obstacle first and the others won't seem so hard kinda thinking there. I have made HUGE progress these past few weeks. And I really appreciate the support and validation. It is priceless. Croix
  5. :Trigger: :Trigger: :Trigger: :Trigger: When I was 4yrs old I started having seizures. My mom took me to the doctor and explained what happened. She told him that it only happened when I got in trouble or was upset. He told her that I was just doing it for attention to ignore it and I would eventually stop. The seizures didn't stop. They resembled grande mals (tonic-clonic in todays jargon) with full on flopping on the floor, pee my pants etc.... My mother demanded that he do a test, so we did the sleep-deprivation EEG. It was off the charts recordable seizure activity. But did not diagnose me with epilepsy or anything like that. My dx was "seizure disorder nos". They put me on phenobarbital (this was early 80's) for a couple of years. My father (who doesn't believe in psychiatry or psychology and barely tolerates physical medical doctors) demanded that I be taken off them. He didn't want me on pills for the rest of my life. Surprisingly the seizures didn't come back. I still have terrible memory problems though. And severe anxiety. I started being molested at 4 yrs old. I believe that this is where the seizures stemmed from. My little brain couldn't cope with the trauma. Croix
  6. Ash it is! Thanks for all the great suggestions, but hubby didn't like any of them. Croix
  7. WTF Japan Seriously I needed a pick-me-up after an intense day. I found this. Had to share. Enjoy!
  8. Definitely something I'll look into. I've always wavered between Doormat and Passive-Aggressive. It is high time I started putting up boundaries and communicating better. Thanks Croix
  9. Taking an assertiveness course? Croix
  10. Hahahaha, Good one Joe. Spork, you joined right as I was starting my hiatus. But I remember you joining. Welcome back. Good to be home, huh? Croix
  11. Sylvan ( your name always makes me think of the tutoring service, lol ) I've never expected him to read my mind. I knew I wasn't supposed to do that. But I also knew that HE knew I was pissed when that has happened. I would bitch at him the next day about his being insensitive to my needs, so he knew what the problem was and how to fix it. But he wouldn't take it upon himself to do that. Probably because I was already mad and he was "in trouble" over it. Does that make sense? Croix
  12. Wait. I'm confused now. Is is an identity thing? (It's not in my case, I just hate all the crap that goes along with being female.) Or is it like me? If it's an identity thing ( You feel more male-like ) I would agree to go talk to the LGBT community. Croix
  13. Why can't he be both a great guy and someone you have a fabulous sexual connection with? Why one or the other? Croix
  14. * Kinda long, (sexual in nature), but worth the read..... So the other night we decided to get naked. Great!... It was going very well and Marine got a slamming bj ( if I do say so myself ). He rolled over afterwards and I cuddled up to him to let him catch his breath before we continued. Next thing I know, he's snoring. I got pissed. I got out of bed and goofed off on the computer for a couple of hours, fuming. Went to bed really late. He let me sleep in the next morning. I was still mad when I woke up. My usual way of dealing with that kind of disappointment and resentment is to bitch at him and play the victim and not feel/act better until I get all kinds of apologies and receive validation of my terrible troubled psyche. This time, I decided to think about it differently. I didn't want to be mad/hurt for the next three days or so until I gave up or until he remedied the situation on his own. So, I went in the living room where he was playing a videogame. Asked him politely to pause it. He looked at me very warily. ( I have the poor guy on eggshells because my reactions are usually so bad.) I made him stand up and hug me. He relaxed and stood up and hugged me. I then asked him how he was feeling. He said Ok but his stomach was a little "off" that morning. I said, with a smile on my face, "Well suck it up and get in the bedroom, you have a job to finish". He was beaming and replied with a very enthusiastic "Sure". ....We met up in the bedroom and he handled up on his business and it was fabulous. So...YAY ME, for not playing the victim. Yay me for actually ASKING for what I wanted/needed. This is huge for me. I wasn't taught how to ask for what I wanted growing up. I was shown how to bitch and whine and manipulate. But now I am learning better, actually using my skills and got a great outcome. Woot! It really never occurred to me to just ask before. Croix
  15. Great replies, ya'll. I agree. Sometimes it will be the MI causing it. ( None of us can say for sure.) Sometimes it's just the natural ebb and flow of relationships. Sometimes its lack of sex...... I like the "wait it out advice" ( I've been married 12 years. I know this to be true.) And the "get more booty" advice. If it's been say, a month, and you still feel this way, talk to your doc. Hell talk to your fiance and check in with him about how he's feeling. You might get some insight into your feelings. Croix
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