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About daisie

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    The name of the place is I like it like that.
  1. First off, I'm very proud of you that you're able to manage uni and depression. You sound amazingly level headed, very well organized, and I think you have a great future ahead of you. Look at how well you're able to explore so many options. Just stop including suicide as one of them, it's never a choice, you have way too much going for you. Nighttime sucks. Everything gets so much worse and rational thinking goes right out the door. I hope everything was okay for you last night. It sounds like you're getting switched to Topamax? You'll like it, and if your biggest dose is at night, it'll h
  2. I have been having a love relationship with Latuda. It is awesomely wonderful. I went from Geodon, which was also very good and controlled my symptoms well, but I couldn't take it anymore because of long QT syndrome. On Latuda, I feel like I'm not taking any medication at all. But I'm not psychotic. I take 120 mg a day, 80 in the morning, 40 at night.
  3. I do not know when I'm having one. I have trouble knowing the signs leading up to one. I'm starting to recognize them, though. I get into arguments with the people around me. And guaranteed if my sleep schedule gets thrown off, we're looking for trouble at some point down the road.
  4. My coping skills consist of having talked through with my spouse that the utility guys were just out in the street selling something. Talking it out, about why they'd be here and why they'd be watching me helped. They were gone, they didn't come back, it was a coincidence that they were there. Same with the surveillance planes. Talking helps. I can push it away and attribute it all to coincidence, feel better, take my meds, and move along. Three day weekends mess me up. I've noticed that the extra day at home screws me up and knocks me out of my pattern. So that's another issue. I'm just
  5. He might skype with me. We're all set up for it, and he dearly loves technology, and we've talked about it previously. I don't feel like I do when I'm manic, though. I don't have the mile a minute breakneck reckless destructive thing going. Okay, maybe a *little* destructive. I felt it as I typed it. It just feels different because I'm sooooooo much calmer than an unmedicated or partially medicated mania. And my meds are usually just fine. I am dealing with a breakup with my live in partner whose son is my fifth child, and so it stands to reason that I'd be a little nuts (she's still
  6. I need help, I want to help myself, I can feel myself crashing and want to stop the fall. I had a situation last weekend where I confronted someone who was excluding my girlfriend from a group event just because she's my girlfriend. Huge blowup, huge fight. So I'm told I was delusional about the exclusion and being out to get me, but she sent nasty emails to my girlfriend, so what was I supposed to think? It blew up into worrying about the utility guys watching the house, and then the airplanes. Anyway, lots of crying, lots of bad thinking, lots of getting yelled at by my husband about h
  7. I'd love to find someone with an understanding of flat affect. My two partners now both say that I'm a lot like talking to a brick wall, and if I had someone who had the same sort of needs, I'll bet I'd be less brick wall-ish. So I've got a good relationship question: how do you handle relationships when you're experiencing a lot of negative symptoms? I try very hard to be responsive, but I feel like my thoughts are swimming through Jello. The people in my life are NOT understanding. I try to see things from their viewpoint and listen to them, but I get lost and don't know when to make appr
  8. Practice definitely helps. There are standard formulas for questions you'll be asked. Today's managers use behavioral interviews, and will ask you questions like, "Tell me about a situation where you helped a coworker", or "Tell me about a time when you felt disappointed in your work". Use the internet to find the most commonly asked questions in behavioral interviews. It's cliche, but it's a guarantee that your interviewer is likely to use the common questions. Write out responses, and talk to yourself as you do so. Feel comfortable saying what you've composed. Practice delivering
  9. My symptoms are always there (I have paranoia that is very hard to shake) but the meds make me functional.
  10. A few weeks ago, I was convinced I was using my energy to pull snow out of the clouds. When I'd focus, it would snow. When I'd stop, the snow would stop. It was so pretty to watch, so that may have been amusement or joy.
  11. Acquiring new hobbies is common for me as well and dovetails nicely with the spending. This winter, I took up doll collecting instead of paying for my house. Med school was one of the things I used to study for as well, spending hours doing the MCAT workbooks. More recently, I was going to shift into being an independent agent, nearly rented office space and had a new car all picked out. Mania makes me the life of the party talkative, self centered, pushy, great at sales, high on life, and a menace to my poor family. I say outrageous things to my kids about my lifestyle choices if I'
  12. I so very much don't have friends. I've never figured out how to do it right. For years and years, a few hardy, steadfast souls from my childhood have continued to stay in touch, despite my best efforts to push them away. I made a friend this winter. I met a girl at a party. She was shaking, so she needed snuggled up in a blanket. She wasn't so much cold as anxious, and I'm a *very* good snuggler. Anyway, it ended up that I got a girlfriend in a polyamory situation, not a typical friend. I really don't understand typical friendship stuff, more the manic stuff already mentioned.
  13. I'm on a Geodon/ Topamax regimen along with Celexa and Wellbutrin with Ativan thrown in. It has been amazing for rapid cycling in my case, and I was out of control for almost 30 years.
  14. I'm also hoping that you got some sleep and aren't back to the manic cleaning. I hope you get in touch with your pdoc today and that all goes well for you.
  15. doesn't much like neurologists. They tend to like needles.

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