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About lsyaslove

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    visual art - anything visual..
    music.. listen to almost anything
    poetry (likes to write)
    novels (likes to read.. rather than write)
    animals.. pets
    cooking.. yum and i love to feed others too....
  1. Thank you jt07. I wasn't looking for any diagnosis here, just wanted to know if anxiety can come in many different ways.
  2. I guess muscles can get tense when there is an anxiety built up in the body. Thank you tibbycat for your reply. I just hope it doesn't happen anymore. It's terrifying and my jaws hurts so much .
  3. oh I see.. So I guess there are types of anxiety attacks that doesn't fit into the textbook descriptions of panic attacks. I was just so confused. I didn't even know if what I was having was an anxiety attack or not. So Thank you melissaw for telling me about your experience.
  4. I am diagnosed with bipolar and do not have a separate diagnosis of panic disorder or anything, but I thought it would be best to ask here. Over the years I had mini panic attack thingies so it's not that I completely don't know about panic attacks. I would hyperventilate for maybe 20 minutes, feel like my heart is racing but I didn't feel like I was going to die or anything. So maybe I shouldn't even call them panic attacks. But these few months, I've been having really horrible so called "attacks" happening to me. It only happens at night when I go to bed. I've been having chronic insomnia for 4 months now, so I was thinking maybe it is connected to that. What I mostly experience is My jaw and neck get extremely tense, and it hurts like crazy. No matter what I do I can't loosen them up. I have to keep moving my jaws sideways to relieve some pain. Sometimes the whole jaw just trembles by itself. And I feel like I am going to choke. My tongue rolls ups into my throat and I start feel like I have to throw up. So I start to throw up until there is nothing left in my stomach. Even then, I feel like vomiting. Another big thing is while all this is happening, I am SEVERELY agitated. I can't stay still. If I try to sit down, I start to shake so bad. I feel like clawing into my skin. I want rip the paint off my walls. I start to pace around, but my family force me to sit down, and I just sit and shake. When it happened first few times, nobody knew. I was in my bed trying to sleep, and this would start. I would take my sleep meds, and wait it out until I fall asleep. Yet, this week, the attack was so bad, my brother heard me vomiting and noticed me shaking. My brother and mom took me to the emergency room, and it didn't die down until I saw a doctor there. (We had to wait about 2 hours). (This is the strange thing, I heard most of panic attacks pass after 20 minutes?) He ordered blood tests which came out clean, and gave me Zofran & Ativan then sent me home with PRN Ativan. Miraculously, Ativan stopped all the symptoms, and I felt sleepy soon. Now I'm scared of bed time. Has anyone heard of or experience this kind of thing? Is this even panic or anxiety thing? I'm so cofused. I see my pdoc next Wednesday, so I'll talk about this with him, but before that I wanted to see if anybody can shine a light on this. Thanks for reading! Edited for bad grammar
  5. Yesterday, I lost whole night's sleep and went manic. I was showing typical signs. Having too much energy, talking fast... etc. In the afternoon I went out to meet my friend, and back then the mania wasn't that bad yet. After that I had my pdoc appointment so I went to see him. During the appointment I was tapping my foot, talking too much but otherwise ok. Then I came home, and this weird thing started. At one moment I was running around the house making weird sounds. (I would wriggle my tongue and just let the sound out) Thoughts were racing. Then suddenly everything would just stop. Completely. My head goes blank. I zone out. My body stops also. I just sit wherever I am at the moment and stare into the space. I stay like that for minutes. Then this racing thought and running around the house starts again. This went on for how long. I don't know. When I was back to reality, I took my meds and it calmed me down. But I'm still puzzled by this weird episode of mine. Anybody have thoughts? Thanks in advance.
  6. this life is just a burden for me.. a big bulky .. fucking thing.. let me off myself....

    1. Mackie


      offing yourself solves nothing. it only creates worse events. and offing youself means you just die. and your last thoughts, last feeling is depression. and dont have the pleasure of living life, and actually grow to be happy someday. because it will happen.

  7. sick of putting on a damn fake smile on my face..

  8. Hey! Yay Torontoians :)

  9. wow another torontonian :P

  10. omg i've been basically torturing my digestive system.. i'm binging a lot these days.. i can't stop. cannot stop craving food... (junk food especially) i end up throwing them up .. but for these few days i haven't been able to even do that b/c i feel like my stomach is going to rip out now i'm anxious about gaining weight... and i constantly have upset stomach and i can't stop eating!!!!!! i'm hypomanic right now and can't seem to control my impulsivity of wanting food.... oh no i saw my pdoc yesterday and he increased dose for geodon.. and i'm not yet sure if it's helping.. it should soon!!!! ok now i'm done venting:cussing: thanks for reading...
  11. i went to see my pdoc yesterday and he put me on little higher dose of geodon.. for some reason i get knocked out by the lowest doses of AAPs.. i've never tried geodon before so we are trying this one now
  12. wow you live in toronto! me too :D

  13. oh.... the fantastic recipe is...... from my head!!! :)
  14. wow you are tiny... i'm on the same boat except for the med part.. i want to go buy ingredient for my new fantastic pasta recipe RIGHT NOW at this time.... it's 1:00 am here :) ughhhhh!!!
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