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Everything posted by deeschmee

  1. It does help just knowing I'm not alone...
  2. Has anyone experienced anything like this before?
  3. While feeling desperately lonely I was sobbing my eyes out. I felt something in my eye and went to look in the mirror. Then a part of me took over and started horrifically demeaning myself telling myself I'm worthless and should kill myself. Alternating between desperate sobbing and demeaning I scared myself and didn't recognize my face. It was like another person I didn't know and I was so scared but couldn't look away. I'm afraid to look in the mirror anymore
  4. I am in awe of the wisdom that you have shared with me. The eloquence of your words has given me peace in my heart and let me feel that I can get through this. You really are remarkable people with so much insight and I thank you for that Especially @cerberus and @Iceberg
  5. Everything is my fault because of my depression and she doesn't want pills or help because she will never feel better anyways. I really don't know what to say or how to help her when she is unwilling to get help
  6. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I feel so very weak and unequipped to deal with any of this. Thank you Not at all off base. It helps to know others can relate
  7. Lots to consider here. I talk to my counselor on Wed. I'm bringing all this up
  8. Good advice. What type of consequences? Thats where I struggle
  9. She is not compliant and just stopped her med Basically she doesn't go to the Dr
  10. My daughter who is 18 is very depressed and angry. She lashes out at me and is very nasty and disrespectful. My older sons and one Gf overheard this and were very upset. They all said I need to be harder on her and not allow her to speak to me that way. I mostly ignore her behavior because it triggers me. They think she's walking all over me and I don't know what to do about it....
  11. Well as bizarre as that may seem there are many documented reports of monkeys attacking humans. Who knows what drew them to steal the vials of blood though Hunger? Curiosity? 🙉
  12. Rejected Abandoned Isolated Protective It's so weird but I've reached out to many people, for whatever reason I needed to, and many did not respond. No reply. No answer. No response.
  13. I actually got out of bed on my day off. Only because my grandkids came over
  14. So last night I started panicking pretty bad was up until about 1:30 a.m. had to work the next day. Then all of a sudden it hit me. I need to have my protector takeover in order for me to sleep. It worked quite well. I guess I'm wondering should I keep going with this? Could this be the start of an alter? Or could it just stay as is?
  15. Thanks to you both. I'm still deciphering what's happening within me, but better
  16. 😂 Late response..and touché Don't be sorry at all. Im better at drawing than grammar.
  17. So I was talking to this guy online an few years ago and recently started talking again. We made plans to hang out and I went to his house for a drink and movie. We were talking politics and I made a comment that got him angry. I definitely was on the alert. So when he started kissing me I said I wasn't prepared to have sex. Next thing I know, my pants are off. I covered myself and asked if he had a rubber. No. And we had sex. I didnt want to. Here is where fawning comes in. My counselor told me its a reaction to trauma, and I was most likely experiencing this when he was on top of me. I was appeasing him and trying to avoid conflict, so I gave in. Basically I was sexually assaulted. This is difficult for me to digest, just because if that's considered sexual assault, then it's happened numerous times in my life. Maybe this has happened to you?
  18. And I feel like I'm existing within myself. I feel like I'm just coming out of a drug induced coma. I know I have dissociative disorder but how do i know if I have separate identities? I can see my different personalities clearly. Comes in emotional waves. I'm not sure where the "me" I'm used to has been these past few weeks. Forgive me I know I've asked this before. I just can't remember the answer
  19. I could I've tried. Just seems like food takes priority over bills
  20. This makes the most sense to me. I appreciate everyone's input though. He just prescribed mirtzapine which I feel better about. I think the loneliness triggers my depression for sure.... I just want to say how grateful I am for each and every one of you. Your my people 💓
  21. He doesn't but I will tell him. It only happened once but it's bad He said it was my choice to take it. But I have to tell him about the drinking too I'm worried about sex compulsion, permanent tardive dyskinesia and suicide. There's some lawsuits with all this too
  22. I'm going to take all of this into serious consideration. You all have been so helpful.
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