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About 2twisted

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    South Carolina
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    photography,writing,fonts,reading,my daughter,music,dancing.
  1. Isn't it?It's scary what can happen when off medicine. A mood chart sounds like an awesome idea but I have no idea where to start since my mood changes so frequently.You wouldn't happen to know if I can download one online anywhere?
  2. Oh sorry I just saw your other question.I didn't take any type of test at the scene of the accident.The EMT prior to giving me pain meds asked me if I was on any medications and I told him what I was taking.Well when I got to Clonopin the officer intervened and had my count by 7s.He met me at the ER and demanded a blood sample and told me he was placing me under arrest for DUI for driving while on Clonopin.At that point I refused to cooperate with him.So he took me to jail. The DA convicted me and there wasn't any evidence except for what the officer reported.I guess that's what happens when you can't afford a decent lawyer.
  3. Thanks for repyling. Well today when I started to tell her that I wasn't doing that well since we saw each other she laughed,made a joke,and said I looked like I was doing much better to her.I tried to tell her that I'm different when I'm alone she said "oh give your Sappris time!" I'm afraid of myself right now so when people frustrate me in person I just don't say anything because I don't want to come off as oddly as I feel inside.So I just don't know how to deal with life if I can't express myself publicly.
  4. Ok so I decided that my meds were poison back in December.What resulted was a 3 car collision and a DUI charge when I wasn't drunk but just out of my mind.So now I have no car/license and my life is in shambles.I started taking Sapphris because I was starting to dissociate and was all over the place.My doctor closed my file and now I have to go through the process of having it reopened. I feel like the couple of times that I've talked to a doctor at mental health they've waved away my concerns.I'm freaked out!I am single and don't have anyone around to tell me if I'm off my rocker.After what happened in December I am afraid to leave my house.I don't know who to trust so I don't trust anyone.I feel so isolated and unsure about everything.On top this I have to stay regulated enough to make it to my court ordered drug and alcohol class twice a week.My lawyer sucked and didn't tell the judge about my bipolar but I feel like it's something the court should know.I don't have money to throw at lawyers and I feel like I am going to end up locked away not because I wanted to be in contempt of court but because I'm too all over the place to comply with my court order.I think my doctor can help but she doesn't take me seriously.I feel like I have to shout that I'm going to take out a bunch of people or something before my doctor cares.BTW-I don't want to take out anyone...but myself at times.Any suggestions ? Did that make sense?Probably not.
  5. I scare people.How charming.

  6. Nice to meet ya!

  7. How are you doing blueberrygirl?I can tell you were manic as hell when you wrote this(I'm bi polar too)!I hope things are looking up.Did you get on a med combo you like?Have you found some resouces to help with your family issues?BTW-we are all plain nuts.It's ok.LOVE
  8. Hey flightsoffancy-I have taken effexor in the past.It worked out for awhile and than I started experiencing really negative effects.Mostly intense anxiety and it made me feel paranoid .After that came the numbness and apathy.Keep in mind that everyone responds differently but I had a terrible time with this medication and it was hell to get off.The withdrawl lasted months.Maybe you should talk to your pdoc about adding something else to the mix or taking something out of the mix.Good luck and let us know how things go.
  9. Hi Orange-I just joined too and have really come to love this board.It's a very supportive group:)
  10. Thanks Andrea.I keep telling myself that.I keep trying to stay as rational as I possible can.I think to myself how dumb I'm going feel if this destroys me.I don't want to teach my daughter bad habits either.I know kids know more than we give them credit for.I'm slowly but surely redirecting my energy.I hope you are doing okay.I will be ranting about the same shit tomorrow morning I'm sure.
  11. Yay,I'm glad inspaces!

  12. I see that.This is by far the best support site I've found.I can't believe I registered and everything.I usually just lurk.

  13. Thank you so much for all the support.I really appreciate it!The mornings and late at night are the worst for me.I know I'm going to get through this but some moments feel unbearable.I didn't use today and now my daughter is home so it's not even an option.I do well with her around.I grew up with an alcoholic mother and I just refuse to be blitzed in front of my child.So now my thoughts have shifted to homework and dinner.lol.So for this moment I am fine.Thanks for listening guys.I hope your days are going well.LOVE
  14. Indeed it was nice chatting! I'm glad you found this site too, you'll make some great friends here. XOX

  15. Thank you Olga.I am not going anywhere today but my bed.Today is just such a blue day.I don't have the energy to go get drugs.So I am taking it moment by moment.I am trying my best to stay positive.I just have to keep breathing right?
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