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heartless.bambi

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About heartless.bambi

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  • Location
    Melbourne - Australia
  • Interests
    Reading, writing, IT, video games.

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  1. I'm using a really thin rubber band, but I didn't really think trying the outside of my wrist, I think it'd work though when I'm on my own I just do it to my thigh, but I can't exactly do that when I'm out with people and start getting really bad social anxiety. Thanks for the suggestions, I might try the ice one too when I can.
  2. Rabbit - No need to apologise, any answer at all is help as far as I'm concerned. I didn't think of the muscles protecting the nerves, but it sounds plausible to me. saintalto - Ah yeah, that's fair enough. So far I've found it helpful, but I can see how it could easily become a problem if it end up growing to like it too much.
  3. Lately I've been getting the urge to cut several times a day, so I got myself some rubber bands. My psych and doctor recommended it as a safe alternative to cutting, I've used it in the past when I have been quite upset/anxious/angry/whatever and it mostly worked. What I want to know is whether it can cause any actual damage beyond bruising or leaving welts on my wrist or forearms. I've read online that it could cause some long term issues such as damage to nerves, tendons or veins, but I am also very aware that you really can't trust alot of things you read on the Internet, so I thought it might be beneficial to ask people with actual experience on the matter. Any help at all would be appreciated, I don't want to end up doing something that could cause more health problems than the cutting I'd normally do.
  4. It's okay, the thread is a little chaotic with a few different people contributing. I'm actually planning to get myself sent to a psych ward, I just want to get past Christmas, I have certain obligations to meet first.
  5. I think you may have gotten me mixed up with someone else here, I originally started on 25mg and have been working my way up. I'm a strong believer in just pushing through with meds until at least the 3 month mark, that way I've given them ample time to have the proper effect. Having said that, someone I spoke to said that the 4-6 week period that it takes for meds to properly kick in may not start until I hit the dosage level that my doctor wants to keep me at, so I'm not feeling optimistic at the moment. I've heard similar things about it being difficult until you hit said "sweet spot", so I'm just trying to take everything in stride as it comes. It probably didn't help that I was having withdrawal from my other 2 meds due to running out and not having the cash to restock, so I think that exacerbated things. I'm not sure if it's a side effect of the Lamictal or just due to life at the moment, but I've been getting increasingly suicidal lately, which just makes everything harder. Thanks for the support
  6. Well, I'm in week 5 now and on 75mg, been going up 25mg every two weeks. My sleep is still really messed up, super vivid dreams and nightmares, plus waking up alot, but the nausea and headaches have mostly subsided. The downside is that due to the really disturbed sleep, my neck is getting worse because I'm constantly moving around in my sleep and end up losing my pillow. I really hate this so far, but I'm not up to the correct dosage yet so I'm just letting it run it's course for now.
  7. Update: Okay, this is seriously fucked. By my count I slept for maybe 2 hours, had a dream so realistic that I woke up unsure I'd slept at all, then couldn't move for at all for several minutes and had an irrational fear that there was someone/something standing at my doorway, but couldn't move to turn my lamp on. This shit seriously better start getting better soon. I need real sleep. Plus the nausea still hasn't gone away. Excellent...
  8. Oh wow, my dosage sounds like nothing in comparison! Normally I'm usually pretty bad at taking note of side effects too, but I feel like the lamictal has just hit me so damn hard. I've been told from a couple of people I know that the first 4-6 weeks can be really shitty, so I'm at least gonna try to stick it out and discuss everything with my doctor when it see him at the end of the week. I've just never had a med knock me around so much like this is doing currently. I'm literally not even functioning today, just trying to avoid moving making it worse, I'm see that's even possible.
  9. I think this is probably about the second time I've ever felt the need to post outside of the blog I keep, but I'm just into my second week of taking Lamictal in the hopes of leveling out my moods in relation to borderline, and things have been getting a little concerning. I'm only on 25mg for now, with the intention of being stepped up to 50mg at the end of this week, but in the last 3 or so days I've noticed my sleeping is becoming a real issue. I've struggled for years with maintaining a healthy sleep cycle, often bouncing between practically no sleep most nights for weeks on end to sleeping 10+ hours a night and never really feeling recharged. But as of a few nights ago not only have I been waking quite constantly, but the sleep I do get is plagued with very vivid and often upsetting dreams/nightmares, and I'm usually not one to to even remember my dreams. I've also been waking with a very stiff/sore neck, which isn't exactly a new problem for me, I've had neck pain issues for a few years now, but it's definitely gotten a lot worse in the last couple of days. Finally, since I took last night's dose I've been extremely nauseous and had a pretty damn bad headache, neither of which are common problems for me. From what research I've managed to do these all seem like somewhat common issues related to starting lamictal, but what I want to know is whether or not I should be worried, and furthermore, if/when it'll get better. The whole reason I've been put on it is because I've been really struggling lately, but these last few days have just been hell, and I'm not sure if I can take it if these are going to be longstanding issues, I can barely function at all right now. Any input will be greatly appreciated.
  10. I'm thinking I should update my blog soon, I just realised it's been more than a year.

  11. How did everything get so messed up?

  12. I wish I could get to sleep as easily as most people.

  13. Everything around me has changed in the last few years, except me. I may have gotten older, but I'm still dealing with the same issues I was years ago. People tried to write it all off as a phase. If that's true, then it's a damn long one.

  14. Why am I never happy? Life is stable by all accounts, nothing particularly bad has happened. Maybe I'm just not meant to be content.

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